A 'what would you do' thread...

Kili

elisebutt65 wrote: »

Time would probably be better spent sorting out your financial situation, if he's made all the decisions in the past. Things like joints bank account & mortgage?

Yes, you are probably right but its complicated. He was made redundant a few months ago so the mortgage is currently being paid by the insurance on it which complicates things. There is little in the joint account at present and I'm also currently unemployed.

long complex story but in a nutshell I gained my Degree last summer, planned to spend the holidays with my children then jobhunt. I applied for a few jobs then my DD suffered a complex injury which required me to be running her around and attending appointments and physio. It was decided my jobhunting would go on hold until she was well and we would manage on his wage. Of course, best laid plans and all that he was made redundant. DD is now reasonably well and I have started jobhunting again, but currently I have no income and only the joint JSA claim.

My plan at the moment is to go and see the Benefits Agency on Monday and find out where I go from here. I also need to find out what happens with the Mortgage insurance.

My Mum is being incredibly supportive and in the worst case scenario I could go back there with the children (though DS has been talking of flat hunting with his friend anyway).

marywooyeah

It's true what you say about best laid plans, but I'm so glad to hear that you have your mother for suppourt that's a real comfort x

thatgirlsam

aliasojo wrote: »

I usually agree with your posts sam but I don't this time.

I think the lad's outburst warranted an immediate response. Talking about it later (if they did) lessens the seriousness of the situation imo.

Whatever the rights and wrongs were, telling someone 'F you' is just not on and the Dad has done the lad no favours by letting it go, never mind his OH.

It's my belief that the most respectful kids come from homes where all parties sing from the same sheet. As soon as one parent lets something go, the chink is there for the young person to exploit. I don't even think they do it deliberately as such but I do think it's nature for young lads especially, to take advantage of this weakness in the chain of discipline. < Bit of a flowery/dramatic term but I can't for the life of me come up with another description of what I mean. :rotfl:

Aliasjo how dare you disagree with me :mad:

:rotfl::rotfl:

Only joking, I think you have a really good point for raising young children but I agree with the poster who said that its ok for parents to disagree over things like a teenagers behaviour perhaps - I suppose its not the argument that counts but how you resolve it and settle it that shows a good example in the end

But no bad language needs to be used!

Kili - I am so glad your son sees the error of his ways and you have managed to resolve the issue, I know 18 is considered a man but I bet he still really needs his Mum

As for your DH, only you know what the deep rooted issues are, and it does sound like there are some, to be honest it sounds like a much more deep rooted problem than an arguement over your DS - especially if the pair of you are prepared to split up over it

I really hope you will be ok - maybe you need some time out from each other to think things through, I don't think anything needs to be decided straight away