A 'what would you do' thread...

Kili

jakes-mum wrote: »

Im so glad your DS apologised for his rudeness Shows his maturity, he just had to calm down to realise he went a step to far.

Hope you come to a conclusion with your OH, be it having it out with him, going it alone or bumping along as you are. We have no idea what he's been like all these years, whether this is one bad trait in a relatively nice bloke or if he a bit of an !!! all round. You know the answer and your decision will come from there. Hugs to you x

I will start by saying that he does care for me, he's supported me through Uni etc and probably to the extent where I naively have no clue about how to pay bills and deal with day to day stuff because he's aways done it.

He is however incredibly stubborn and will never admit he is wrong. Over the years we have had similar arguments, when we first married his Mother was very interfering and could be quite rude to me yet he would never stand up to her and tell her it was unacceptable. As time has passed he has done it a little more so but he still is quite blase when it comes to actually fighting my corner, I suppose if I were to sit an analyse our relationship this has always bothered me and always been there simmering.

We struggled for a while over his insecurities as well, which could be a whole other thread, but over the last 2 years he does seem to have let his jealousy and suspicion go somewhat and we have moved on from that.

I know I need to let the past go, I will admit I'm at fault there, but time after time he seems happy to let things go and it all comes thundering back to me.

Kili

Vik, I think you just hit the nail on the head, it always comes down to being my fault. Always. It matters not a jot whether its him or one of the kids he will always turn it to being me that caused it, me that interfered. Like the incident with DD, in a nutshell it came about because we were going to a wedding and I'd asked DD to wear black tights with her dress as they looked better. DD was at this point tired and pre menstrual and threw the mother of all strops. I'd told her she wore the tights or didn't go, it was that simple. OH then decides that he's going to have a chat with her, I'd asked him to leave it and leave her to it but no, off he goes. They then talk and I really get the impression that its OH saying "just ignore her and play along". Maybe thats my insecurities I don't know, but in the midst of all this DD throws phone, I pick up phone to confiscate and OH then turns the row on me shouting and yelling at me.

End result? Pally OH and DD and me, again in the doghouse. I've always felt that its me vs him, the kids and his Mother.

Kili

Am slightly amused by the fact he's just walked in, got a suitcase out of the loft and whistling as he's packing. He hasn't uttered a word to me.

To be honest I think I'm well rid of such a childish coward.

Yorkie1234

I've just read this thread and, having been married to someone who put their mother before me and let her be as nasty as she wanted without doing a thing about it, I'll say he's doing you a favour by going. You're well rid.

Bennifred

Chin up, Kili! XX

Melonade

Kili wrote: »

Am slightly amused by the fact he's just walked in, got a suitcase out of the loft and whistling as he's packing. He hasn't uttered a word to me.

To be honest I think I'm well rid of such a childish coward.

Oh Dear :eek: Not too sure what else to say.

Although I'm pleased for you that your son has apologised :T

newcook

dont forget to remind him to leave his keys on the side!

make_me_wise

Kili wrote: »

Am slightly amused by the fact he's just walked in, got a suitcase out of the loft and whistling as he's packing. He hasn't uttered a word to me.

To be honest I think I'm well rid of such a childish coward.

I agree with you. Your kids are probably to old now but if they had a teddy Id be handing it to him on his way out with some jam sandwiches. If he wants to behave like a child treat him like one.

FWIW I think you would be well rid of such a mummys boy. Let her put up with him, cook, clean, wash, iron. Lifes too short to be weighed down with such an obnoxious lump hey

Get chillaxin with a massive glass of wine and your fav take-away.

aliasojo

Kili wrote: »

Am slightly amused by the fact he's just walked in, got a suitcase out of the loft and whistling as he's packing. He hasn't uttered a word to me.

To be honest I think I'm well rid of such a childish coward.

Someone who makes a casual show of something, does so for bravado. They don't feel that way inside, they are trying to portray something different for someone else's benefit. that's why he is whistling. He's trying to make you feel as if he doesn't care.

If he really didn't care, he wouldn't feel the need to do this.

I have no idea where you go from here but whatever happens, I hope you feel settled one way or the other soon.

Chin up.

pinkclouds

Kili wrote: »

So tell me ladies, if your son had spoken to you like that, even if you were as much in the wrong as they, what would your other halves do?

He would probably tell him off for using bad language. As would I.