Diary of a (hopefully)reformed shopaholic

LivvyLoo_2

Afternoon Diary,

I am back from my treat to the pub for lunch, my boss told me to take my car home and treated me to lunch and wine bless him. I had 2 glasses of red and I am making my own entertainment in the office ha ha.

Everyone is being so lovely and looking after me, bless them. I have such lovely friends.

DD had a lovely time thanks Mummy, she has talked about jelly fish and sea horses since she got back. I love the Book People too, I bought DD the Gruffalo collection last time they were here and also the Peppa Pig collection in a lovely bag.

I haven't been very MSE today, I forgot myself and that was before the wine!!!!! I bought DD's cake for her birthday and it cost £42...please don't shout at me. Its a model of Peppa Pig, feeds about 35 grown people....OH will have to pay half tho so won't cost me as much. So then I was very good and got the free invitations off the net, I downloaded the Dora ones and printed all the details off on the internet so they look very posh.

Feel a bit calmer about things today, I have decided I am going to go and have some counselling. I have asked OH if he wants to come as at the moment all we do is blame each other, I explained it was up to him whether he came or not but I am going to go anyway as I have been thought a lot in the last year so it might help me move forward and understand things a bit better. He hasn't replied to my text but his mum said he had a tummy bug the last few days....must have affected his fingers ha ha ha.

xx

LivvyLoo_2

Good Afternoon Diary,

I have had and up and down weekend so thought it best to wait until I was in the right frame of mind to write in my diary.

I sold 4 items on ebay yesterday...earned about £20, I didn't get chance to list anything last night as I was over at the local family pub for lunch with my friends and for DD to play in the playground outside (for free). I took a voucher and got DD's lunch for free, my friend and I had 2 meals for £10 and we shared a bottle of house wine....so all in all I spent £15 as bought an extra milk for DD later on.

Today however I have spent £3 already as I have bought brekkie and lunch.

All my accounts are looking good and I have decided not to buy any fresh food this week apart from milk. DD and I can live off what we have in the cupboards...egg mayo sarnies all week then.

I have £40 left over out of the food and petrol budget to go towards my holidays and £60 out of my entertainment budget. I should only need 1 tank of petrol next month and I will do my shopping as I did it this month (Pound Stretcher (household things, crisps and chocs), Aldi's (salad, milk and bread) and Mr T's (for meals only)), this saved me a fortune. I was way over budget in July and now I know why.

I still haven't managed to tot up my spends diary, I will do that tomorrow if I get chance.

Had a nightmare with OH over the weekend, just made me realise why DD and I are better off alone.

xx

LivvyLoo_2

Afternoon,
Quick update...payday tomoz yey!

Have ordered a Mr T shop for £50, I have only got essentials and even compared each items with what I saw in Aldi and poundstretchers yesterday...worked out washing powder - cost per wash.

I will send my ebay items out in the post tomorrow as everyone has paid now. I have had some one ask me if they can have compensation because the package came open and the cardigan was marked (although very small). She only paid £3.50 so what kind of compensation can you give? I said to send it back and I would refund the money.

Things are not good for me at the mo, I have OH threatening to move back in after 6 months of living at his parents and now he is wanting to take DD on holiday just because I would like to take her away. He is basically bullying me and making me feel that I am in the wrong for what he has done to me. The easiest thing for me would be to let him move back in, but I am going to stick to my guns as I don't know why he wants to move back in, is it to make a go of it or is it so that he can fight for more access to DD when we split?

xx

mummytogirls

Hi Livvy,

Re the ebayer im not sure what to say. I suppose you have said the right thing, but it does make you think !!!!!! youve only paid £3.50 for it! Have you seen a picture of the damage, does it look like much?

Oh no to DH wanting to move back in. I think its best you live in separate houses if things are not good between you. It would make things awkward for you and im sure DD wouldnt like the situation.

x x x

Kepp

Hi Livvy,

Just found your diary and subscribed, so I'll hang around if that's ok.

Sorry to hear that things aren't going well with your OH.

I think with the ebay item you've done the right thing - they're probably just trying to push their luck anyway!

xx

Keeping_Motivated

Sounds like your OH is feeling out of control and trying to take some back in a bullying manner...not nice for you!

Would he not go to Relate or somewhere with you?

LivvyLoo_2

Good Morning,
Aw thanks for popping in and reading my diary. Beccie thats great that you're hanging around, its lovely to have people to chat to.

OH came round nice as pie last night, I think maybe I scared him by telling him I don't like him much at the moment and he is nothing like the man I married. The thing is though I had to say I won't go on holiday anymore so that he won't take DD with him, as I can't stand the thought of her being so far away from me for so long. She is only 3 and never slept out, if he had said he was going somewhere in UK for 4 days maybe I could cope. All this though just makes me not like him more and more because everything he does it to spite me and if he wanted to make a go of it then surely he would want me to be happy?????? I have mentioned Relate and he isn't really interested, I said I would go on my own!

The eBayer hasn't replied, I don't know what she wanted in the way of compensation, I mean there isn't much you can knock off £3.50 is there?

Haven't heard anything from the seller of my car either...so thats just another thing I need to deal with !!!!!!!

Anyway its Pay Day YEY :j I was quite surprised as last months money seemed to stretch further than usual and I have savings too...not that I will be spending them on my holiday now . I have loaded all my accounts with this months budgets and I'm off to Pound Stretcher and Aldis at lunch time with a list, Mr T's is delivering tonight too...I think just about everything in my fridge has gone off ha ha.

I went to a lady back in March to have my cards read...she was fab and everything she said has so far come true. She said I would have 3 holidays this year and I have only had one (back in Jan) so I feel optimistic that OH will see the error of his ways and say....aw you go on your hols, you deserve it (yeah right....dream on).

Will check in later with my total grocery spends for today.

Bye for now, and thanks again everyone for popping in.

xx

Keeping_Motivated

I'm not sure you should have said you won't go on on holiday as surely that will just create a pattern of threats from him when he doesn't like something you are doing? I know its not a game but surely he has just won? Could you say to him that the holiday for you and DD is really important to you and you are not saying he can't take DD away out of spite but just out of worry about her not being away from you ever before and her fretting and it being a shock to her and ask him how he thinks you could BOTH comprimise so DD is not unsettled...ie could you go away with them (might clear a few things in your relationship being on neutral ground)? Could he take her for 1 night trial to see ease her in? etc etc

LivvyLoo_2

Yes, well this was what I thought....you are totally right. As soon as he gets his own way he is happy and he has just won, the thing is, if he did book the holiday I would worry about it from now until DD was back home (then not able to enjoy mine). I did tell him why I'm not going and that it was a big step for me to let her sleep out (I have agreed he has her one night on a weekend) let alone go on holiday. I explained it wasn't that I don't trust him but that its how I felt about her being away. I didn't for one minute expect him to say, you go and have a good time it will do you good. However I compared it to his sister who is in the same boat, she wouldn't want her DD to be taken on holiday by ex OH for the same reasons, but yet she is taking DD to USA (which is the hol OH was threatening to go on).
I was thinking about going with them but its with all his family and is costing a lot more than what I was hoping to pay. We were going to go away together at the end of August as a make or break but he cancelled it as he was working.

I feel I am constantly in a no win situation. When he doesn't get his way he turns nasty and when he does he is really nice. I hate conflict and feel chewed up all the time over everything I tell him because I am worried about his reaction.

The other thing that is bugging me is that he has booked to go on a stag do abroad without mentioning to me or asking if I can have DD the days when he is meant to be having her on a weekend. So he still gets his holiday!

x

indigofire

Hey thank you for your diary. I am sorry that your having trouble with your OH.
I have subscribed