Diary of a (hopefully)reformed shopaholic

mummytogirls

Hope your talk with DH went ok Livvy xx

DebtFree2012

Hey hun

thinking of you

xx

LivvyLoo_2

Morning,

I did have a talk with OH last night and I was very brave although I feel terrible today and my eyes keep leaking. I managed to say everything I wanted to and it was very emotional. Basically I told OH that we should split up because we didn't want the same and couldn't get on anymore, I mentioned that I thought we had to start from scratch with the relationship and build from there and he didn't want to because he said we had been together 10 years so no point. The thing is...thats what I want, and if he wanted me that badly then you would have thought he could do that for me. He also said..you want me to win you back! I said yes I do, after everything I have been through I think I deserve that and he said I should be trying to get him back too. Well I did everything in my power to keep him
after he told me he didn't know if he loved me any more at Christmas and I can't go back to that place, the pain and the heartbreak was bad enough once.

Unfortunately he still can't see he has done anything wrong. So this is really his last chance to try before all has gone but I feel like I owe it to myself to be happy as a year of being unhappy is not helping any of us, DD can feel it and was asking when Daddy was going home last night, she deserves a happy environment.
I instantly regretted what I had done, but I think that is a natural reaction. If this isn't the firework up his arus that he needs then he obviously doesn't love me as much as I had hoped. Luckily its all on good terms and all calm for now.

Anyway one day and one step at a time is the motto, tomorrow I will feel better than today.

Off to the post office soon to post my ebay parcels and pick a form up for DD birthday venue. I keep having moments where I need to fight back the tears so fresh air should do me good.

xx

LivvyLoo_2

Morning Diary,
Well today is a new day and I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday, eyes don't sting but still hurting. OH text me to see if I was OK after work and said that he was hurting a lot and then he text to say good night...I know he does love me but for me to know he won't do it again he needs to show me and prove it.

He is picking DD up from nursery this afternoon and bringing her back for bath time. I feel sick at the thought of her being away for even an hour so god knows how I am going to cope when she stays over night...the wine will be out.

Gutted this morning as a girl in the office has got a dress on that I was saving up for. I'm not buying until October anyway when my clothes fund has tripled so I am sure there will be other dresses out by then.

DD is going on a trip to Seaworld tomorrow with nursery. I have already paid a tennar and need another £8 but I will take that out of the Olivia fund which myself and OH put into every month....I love having these funds as normally I am totally skint a week before payday.

Nothing much to report today, the sun is out but it feels cold.

xx

LivvyLoo_2

This is where I am up to with money this month, I am so pleased I have got something left. The budgetting has helped a great deal, its so strange that having budget accounts can make you feel like you have more money?????? Anyway

£38 left in normal account (for everything else I haven't budgetted for...will see where this has all gone when I read my spends diary). Need £26.50 on Monday though. So £12 left for me until next Thurs.

£0.37 Cosmetics (£65 a month) - totally over budget in here so needed to take it out of normal account. I paid for makeup and hair colour\cut all in one month.

£33.50 Car (£80 a month) - this was emptied and spent on some one elses crash and a bad repair.

£13.20 Birthdays (£32 a month) - Next year I will have enough to buy DD's pressies out of here too.

£54.74 Food & Petrol (£350 a month) - Hoping to only spend another tennar next week and then save the left overs for Holiday fund.

£130 Olivias spends (£200 a month) - This is where the eBay money goes so I can buy her winter clothes in October (I am lucky because she goes into a new size then too so it comes all at once.).

£175 Clothes and Entertainment - (£200 a month) £75 of this to go into Holiday fund if I don't entertain before next Thursday

£437 Holiday Fund (Usually £70 a month but next month £270 + £80 child benefit, then in November the £270 extra goes in my car fund).

£265 Christmas Fund (in my mums account incase of divorce).

I have a spreadsheet and its great as I move money right left and centre to cover for things that are cropping up. When myself and OH shared money I literally had nothing left each month and thats why the credit card was used.
This was one of OH's problems as he wanted to be able to go on holiday when he wanted to and buy what he wanted to and used to get frustrated every month when he only had £200 to himself each month after all bills and debts were paid. We had a means of making more money by him working overtime but he wouldn't do it, he does now he has his own money though.

xx

LivvyLoo_2

YEY....I don't pay full price for DD for her flights to Doha. She is £90 less. Plus I can get a 5% discount code if I put the flights on my AMEX card.
x

LivvyLoo_2

Good Morning,

Weather is quite pleasant here today, no rain as yet and I am hoping it holds off as DD is on a trip to Sea World. Hope she and her little friends have a good time.

Going out for lunch today, so that will be £10 out of the entertainment budget. I really need the break though and also have some nice food as I am not really fancying an awful lot by the time I get home on a night.

Have brought my loans in to work today to see if I can find something about a mis sold PPI on them, the thing is I have had 3 loans all with the AA so I need to sort them into piles. I am sure I have always said no to PPI's tho as my job pays good redudancy pay. Just my luck, but its worth a try.

No news with OH, think he is still blaming me. I tried to talk to him about the lovely holidays we used to have last night thinking we could remember happy times together and he just said Well...!!! As if to say I have made a mistake. Tbh all the attitude is just making me think that I haven't made a mistake.

Ebay sales are more or less the same although I have 10 watchers and a bid on one item now, I think I will start to list the winter items next week, hopefully these will get more interest.

xx

mummytogirls

Hi Livvy, im glad your feeling a bit easier re DH as the week goes on. Theres nothing worse than sore eyes :cool:.

Hope DD has a nice trip out, im sure she will.

Let me know how your winter items sell on ebay, as im thinking of putting the DD's old things on there. I have a pair of Clarks boots hardly worn which im wanting to put on.

Enjoy your lunch out xx

LivvyLoo_2

Thanks Mummy, I'm just taking one day at a time....or one hour at a time as my best friend said.

The book people were in work today so I bought DD a sticker book for when she comes back from her trip (it was £3 and has £11 on the back so am pleased about that). I know she is suffering through all of this and it isn't fair, she has become really clingy and if OH makes me cry she tells him to go home.

I will let you know how my ebay sales do, I will have to get some items out tonight and get them washed with the rest of the washing and then get them ironed (hate ironing and I think too much whilst doing it), I too have boots but they are just little furry boots from Next so won't fetch much.

Lunch was lovely thank you and it was even better to have it made for me!

PPI claims have been sent off and the post lady has just collected them, I gave the envelope a little kiss and waved it goodbye.

xx

mummytogirls

Hello Livvyloo, did DD enjoy her trip? Oh dear to her telling DH to go home! They pick up on everything dont they.

Oh we used to get the book people popping into work too, they have some fantastic bargains, which ive bought loads of for pressies. We once bought a box set of Roald Dahl which should have been about £75 for £15. The kids arent allowed to touch these !

Fingers crossed on the PPI claims xx