Diary of a (hopefully)reformed shopaholic

LivvyLoo_2

Hi everyone,
Thank you for all your comments. The situation is (its complicated so hope you are ready!), when we decided to split in April, after 10 years of me being the bread winner, OH got a new job earning more than me and decided he wanted his wage going into his own account and would pay half the bills and put some money in the bank for DD.
At the time we had 2 cars, one cheap one for his work and an expensive one which I drove. The cheap one has an outstanding loan in his name (he owes more than it was worth), the expensive car was in my name and we had a joint loan on it (also the loan worth more than the car), we also had a credit card which was in my name but most of the debt was his. So as I didn't like the car as it was too big and not my style I thought...why am I paying all this money for 2 cars neither of which I wanted or could afford.
So, I went to see and FA who said to get a loan out for a new car (and sell one of the other cars) and get extra to pay my part of the debt. So I did!

This is where is gets complicated....OH wanted to keep the big car, so I worked out exactly how much of the debt was mine and paid off what I owed the rest. He was also meant to consolidate his debts and do the same but he was refused credit. So I now have a new loan and my name is still on his car loan (car now in his name too)...I told the loan company the situation and they said the only way I get my name off is for him to get a new loan out. He pays the monthly DD, but as the CC we had was in my name I paid all of that with my new loan money and with the little bit left some of the big loan.

He is unhappy with me as I used the little bit left to pay off some of the loan in joint names but he said he wanted the money to pay off his other loan...tough!

So now, if we split I could be entitled to pay half of that joint loan again as its in joint names and he has the car it has paid for.

When I went to solicitor she said I am entitled to 2/3rds of the house profit as I put the equity in (Im looking like a mug aren't I?). He wants 50/50 so I said I would settle for 60/40. So if he makes me pay for the car loan again I will got for 2/3rds....like a bribe.

So the reason I am hiding the money is because if we pool all the debt and he owes more than me, he will come out laughing with a free car and more house profit.

Phew! The other reason I am hiding the money is incase I need it to pay solicitors fees if he fights me for more access to DD.

So until I know what we are doing I think its good that I sit tight, and like you Yellow I am not discussing money at all...I told OH I didn't get a bonus this year and hid £2k in my mums account. His attitude to money still hasn't changed as I was telling him a man at work bought a great tv for £100 and OH said that it will be rubbish picture and we could get a really good one for £250! Also when I was saying about a coat I wanted to buy off the High Street he said....you always used to buy clothes no one else had. So I said yes well I can't afford it now, maybe when I have paid off my loans I will be like that again.

I can't see how he will ever pay off any of his debt with that attitude and there is no way I am going there again, but I will not be roped in to buying a tv for twice the price just because it has a better picture !!!!!!!

Thanks again for all your advice...hope I haven't confused you too much.

xx

MrsNotAPenny

That is complicated!

:wave:

Just about to catch up with the past week or so.

(I use to hide money from MrP, I'd get a nice wee bit saved, we'd fall out and I'd blow it all on clothes/food/junk)

Keeping_Motivated

The biggest thing for me is how you let him get away with paying his wage into 'his' account as soon as he started earning alot of money yet when you where the main earner he 'shared'? How did he explain that away?

LivvyLoo_2

Hi Mrs P,

Hope you are OK, I was very naughty at the beginning of the year, I drew out the council tax money when we got 2 free months and had a great time in Centre Parcs with DD and DM.

Well we deserve it

x

LivvyLoo_2

KM, I asked if he thought it was fair and he said he did as he wasn't living in the house any more and was sick of living on the budget which I had set...thats why I paid off my part of the debt as otherwise he wouldn't have given me anything towards the CC.

Keeping_Motivated

When he moves back in is he going to contribute more as his income is higher?

LivvyLoo_2

Do you know that is a very good point. Before we got married we used to put percentages of our wage into the bills account, I let him pay less as he didn't earn as much as me. I bet that has disappeared from his memory conveniently.

Keeping_Motivated

Time to remind him lol

LivvyLoo_2

Good morning, :wave:
I have had a MSE morning, I have complained to Next for the delivery charge of the faulty dress and I have saved £23 on my car insurance as I entered a previous claim on my new policy incorrectly, so when I called about it the lady said the money would be taken off my DD.

I have been up all night again with DD with her cough which is now developing in to a snotty cold...bless her. I came to work an hour late as I just couldn't get up at 6.

Going for a NSD again today, thats 2 on the trott. Also I will have a SSD tomorrow hopefully as I need to pick my shoes up from the cobblers and get my watch strap replaced. My friend is coming tomorrow night for wine and chat...but I am still getting through the 6 bottles I got as birthday pressies so won't need to buy any.

OK, I have £68 left in everything else pot until pay day plus fiver in my purse (£16 emergency money in entertainment pot).
I will have to put another tank of petrol in as worked out it will only last me another week. I always put the money in the pot for 2 tanks a month so its there, just its nice when I only need one.

So I will have £53 left in food and petrol budget once I have filled up...(I over pay food budget by £30 too), so if I can stick to £23 for food then I can replace the holiday money which I used for car insurance.

If I just get milk in my grocery shop next week I will have change from the £23 too...that will go in car pot.

Talk about a tight month...its doable though. Pay day is in 12 days :j.

xx

mummytogirls

Hi Livvy, I know others have already commented on the situation but I just wanted to add my bit!! You are defo doing the right thing, things are uncertain between you guys and its awful saying this but you need to think of you and DD should the worst happen... sorry!!

Hope DD is better soon, my DD now has a sickness bug after 2 weeks of a cold !!!!!!!

Well done on your MSE morning :money: xx