"Simply not solvent!

hypno06

Oh Seax, I have just read this and am so sorry to read of your woes. I have got to rush off to work now, but will reply later. Look after yourself in all this - the energy (emotional) very quickly uses up the physical energy too, and the last thing you need is to be exhausted.

I know what you mean about comparing to money worries - I would happily go bankrupt tomorrow if I could have my Dad back.

thinking of you all xx

Seaxwyn

Just realised that I posted my gross profit, not net profit, on the tax board last night. So adjusting the calculations, I think my tax bills will be

• Jan 09: £7225.78
• Jul 09: £2393.50

So a little bit better, but still terrifying!

I've just made myself feel better by making out my invoices for July a few days early. I've invoiced for nearly £3200, which will be great when it comes in, but think how much tax is due on that! I wonder if I will ever be in a position where I can put 22% of my income aside for tax.

lucielle

Hi Seaxwyn, sorry things are so tough at the moment. i am keeping my fingers crossed for your dad.
L

Karmacat

Oh Seaxwyn, this is terrible all round, but especially about your dad. I think chev has made some really good points, and I too understand about debt being nothing compared to the presence or health of someone you love.

Glad you've talked to OH about the tax situation - those are *huge* figures.

Take care - hope you get better news about your dad today.

mizmir

Oh Seaxwyn what a hellish time you are having. So sorry about your dad - hope he moves to that proper ward ASAP - he needs proper care to recover fully and you need the piece of mind of knowing he is getting it. Just wanted to say was thinking of you x.

chevalier

Hi Seax
Just checking in to see how you are doing. The weather warning for tonight here is forecasting 25-50mm of rain PER HOUR:eek: . Oh joy. Felt really sorry for the school secretary today. Asked her what the procedure was if the school had to close in an emergency ie like the roof coming off over night. She said she has to phone all the parents!!! There are about 400 children at this school so you can imagine how many phone calls that would be!

I really hope your dad is making some progress, it is heart breaking when your parents cry in front of you. Not supposed to be that way is it.

chev

bountiful

Hi Seaxwyn - I have been away for a few days and just had a catch up with your thread. I can really understand how you might be feeling about your Dad - what a shock for you all - you feel so helpless, don't you? Like some of the others have said - take care of yourself as this emotional (and the practical impact - visits, time, travel etc) can easily become the straw that breaks the camel's back, so to speak - I am glad you are going to be getting away to the holiday home - and hope that you can just chill for a while and recover your energy (for yourself).

I don't know the whole story about you and your husband, but judging by the figures you post, you seem to be earning a good income - and be the breadwinner! Other people know you better, so I am not going to offer unsolicited advice here - but this financial gulf between you is not good ....... you need a lot of love to block that gaping hole!

I do a substantial amount of unpaid work - and friends who support me do question that - I also have a full-time paid job (not that it pays much). I have agonised over whether it is anything to do with self-esteem (lack of), or confidence (lack of) or just an over-developed social conscience /desire to contribute to a better world.

If you husband want to do voluntary work - might be better to do it somewhere where it makes a difference - not where people should be paid for what he is doing. Well, you know all that.

Lots of love xx

taxi73

Hi Seaxwyn..so sorry about your Dad.As everyone else has said be careful you don't wear yourself down.Hopefully with rehabilitation your dad may make a good recovery.I pray that he does.It's such a shock when things like this happen.I'm thinking of you.
Your tax I can sympathise with you too as I've been to the accountant today and had my shock!!!....we have done it before and we will do it again I'm sure...and one day we will be in a position to put it away.
Are you claiming everything allowable as expenses?..
Hugs from here xxxx

Seaxwyn

Thanks for the nice messages. I saw my dad again today and already he is noticeably better than yesterday. He was sitting up and could use his right hand a little bit, and even stand holding onto a zimmer frame. So I feel much more optimistic that he will make a good recovery, though I know it will take time and there are bound to be downs as well as ups. Unfortunately he can't be moved to the rehabilitation ward until a bed becomes vacant, so he is still in the casualty broom-cupboard place.

OH is taking the children to Selsey tomorrow and I do 3 days work in London, I'm looking forward to it. I decided to stop worrying about money and just trust that money will arrive in time to cover my outstanding bills. I really want to leave that ISA money intact if I can.

Taxi, I have posted on the tax board for advice but I think I have claimed everything I can.

Bountiful, you're right, the imbalance in our income does cause a lot of problems between me and OH, I wish we could rise above this. For many years he earned a lot more than me and that never seemed to matter. He is a good man but very prickly about lots of things. And appalling at communicating with employers, which is why he got so dumped on with all the unpaid marking. It's not real voluntary work, it's being held over a barrell! The voluntary driving he does I have no problems with, I'm proud of him for doing it.

hypno06

Good to see that your Dad is improving already......that is really encouraging news!

And yes, I think you are right to stop worrying about money - you have 3 days good work in London, have good invoices to present - Embrace the tax bill - it means you are earning good money and are in demand.

I think the key thing to work on for next year is the tax provision - this requires discipline, but it is necessary to avoid shocks like big bills. As soon as the money clears in your account, transfer 20% into an "arms length" account.

I *know* you know you should do this.......you just need to do it!! (spot the pot, calling the kettle "black".....:o )

Hope you have a good evening x