"Simply not solvent!

Seaxwyn

A bolt from the blue: my hitherto fit and healthy dad has had what appears to be a stroke (no official diagnosis yet). I haven't seen him yet but reports from my mum and brother are upsetting; dad can't even sit up, his speech is very slurred and hard to understand and he has trouble swallowing. However he is lucid and capable of doing the Times Crossword - which is fantastic. I'll go and see him when visiting time opens at 3pm.

My mum sounds very upbeat and is coping with everything so far - good for her. I'll see her at 3 o'clock too.

Anyway, this is a huge thing to take in, and supporting my parents now becomes my top priority, as well as trying to pay the bills and keep the children fed and nurtured of course.

For today, I need to finish off my tax return and do my Tax Credits renewal form, as well as investigate fixing my gas bill. I'll take a day off proper work as I barely slept last night and don't feel I can concentrate.

mizmir

Sorry to hear about your dad Seaxwyn - hope he recovers soon. You are right to put aside work etc - family is what matters right now - and to support them you need to also look after yourself. Take care - we'll be thinking of you all.

Karmacat

So sorry to hear about your dad, Seaxwyn - and you're right, you can't concentrate after news like that. Take care of yourself, hope your visit goes well - I'm working after 5, but hope to catch up after 10pm if I can get back on.

xx

chevalier

oh seax, sod it all, it never rains but it pours!

I am very sorry to hear about your dad. After everything else this month well that just tops the lot.

I truely hope that your OH can step up to the plate and take a load off you. You need to focus on your dad, he needs to focus on getting a advance from the college to pay the bills.

Don't use your ISA tell him he HAS to sort it.

Really feeling for you love
chev
ps we didn't get blown away in the tropical storm!

Seaxwyn

Chev I am so glad you did not get blown away! I was going to ask, but thought it would seem a bit trite if you had been..... How is the house-hunting going.

Quick update on OH's pay fiasco. The college did not pay him this month because he was not contracted to do any work for them in June! So all the hours and days of marking, which took up most of the month, were either spill over from May or voluntary and unpaid. Great.

And he didn't get paid by his 2nd job as he had not checked they had his bank details. He assumed they had, as he worked there before, but it was a year ago so they had deleted him from their system. So I have volunteered to call in on the way to visit my dad in hospital to pick up a cheque. It won't be huge anyway, it's just a few hours driving at under the minimum wage, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of that was voluntary either.

However, I am not going to dip into my ISA until I really have to. The bills aren't due to be paid for a couple of weeks and perhaps a miracle will occur before then.

On the upside, I have got all the figures worked out for my tax return, just have to fill in the form. Then have to cajole figures for OH to give to the tax credits people.

taxi73

So sorry to hear about your dad Seaxwyn.I hope he can recover soon.Well done on doing your tax return.I'm passing no comment on your OH ...

Seaxwyn

The clever people on the tax board have worked out the size of my tax bills for next year. Unless they are mistaken (please god!) I will have to pay:

• £8784.63 in January 09, and
• £3527.10 in July 09.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

It's been a horrible day all round.

The visit to my dad was very upsetting. He is all there, mentally alert, but his speech is very much affected and his right side is paralysed. They confirmed he has had a stroke, and is also suffering from Type 2 Diabetes.

Whilst the nurse we met was kind and competent, the ward was desperately understaffed. It wasn't really a ward, more of a holding bay off the casualty dept, with no locker or anywhere to put things. Noone had had the time to wash or shave dad or even fetch him a glass of water. Luckily for my dad, my sister is a nurse and she washed him, but it's a shame this basic care isn't given as a matter of course. But the nurses had their hands full dealing with people who seemed even more needy than my dad.

As we left I saw dad was crying, something I've never seen him do before.

So that was grim. Also upsetting was making the decision not to take the children back to our holiday house til Wednesday (they were all packed and expecting to go today), mainly as OH can't finish his marking til then. Yes the marking for the college that doesn't pay him! He says he'll take them to Selsey on Wednesday, I will be working in London Weds-Fri so can visit my dad in the evenings those days and join the family on Saturday, or spend it with my mum as it's her birthday that day.

Blimey, what a downer of a day. I had thought money worries were bad enough, but now that dad is ill I would increase my debts a hundred fold to have him well again.

Verbatim

Oh Seaxwyn,

So sorry to hear about your Dad. Please check that he's getting the attention he needs at this critical time. Recovery can be fantastic and complete with early help. I'm glad you have a sister who'll know the score.

Take care.

chevalier

Seaxwyn wrote: »

The clever people on the tax board have worked out the size of my tax bills for next year. Unless they are mistaken (please god!) I will have to pay:

• £8784.63 in January 09, and
• £3527.10 in July 09.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
I hope that you have shown those totals to OH to emphasise that HE NEEDS TO PULL HIS WEIGHT ON EARNING MONEY


It's been a horrible day all round.

The visit to my dad was very upsetting. He is all there, mentally alert, but his speech is very much affected and his right side is paralysed. They confirmed he has had a stroke, and is also suffering from Type 2 Diabetes. Really sorry to here that he is so ill. Did he know about the diabetes before the stroke?

Noone had had the time to wash or shave dad or even fetch him a glass of water. Luckily for my dad, my sister is a nurse and she washed him, but it's a shame this basic care isn't given as a matter of course. But the nurses had their hands full dealing with people who seemed even more needy than my dad. That is really pants and I hope the treatment improves when he is on a proper ward.

mainly as OH can't finish his marking til then. Yes the marking for the college that doesn't pay him! Sorry but this comes under stepping up to the plate for me. IE he should be talking to the college about this extra work and negotiating a payment for the marking even if it is just piece meal ie per script marked or something. He can't let this slide, NOT WHEN THINGS ARE SO TIGHT.

He says he'll take them to Selsey on Wednesday, I will be working in London Weds-Fri so can visit my dad in the evenings those days and join the family on Saturday, or spend it with my mum as it's her birthday that day. Glad he is doing this for you, that is really helpful of him.

Blimey, what a downer of a day. I had thought money worries were bad enough, but now that dad is ill I would increase my debts a hundred fold to have him well again.

I know how you feel about paying any amount of money to have him better again. I really hope that your dad is better soon.

ps we survived the last storm, but blow me if we are not having another tropical storm here tonight and tomorrow. :eek:
chev

Seaxwyn

Chev, we had a tropical storm too last night. I've never heard anything like it! I was worried the guinea pig hutch would float away.

OH was suitably shocked by the tax totals. He is being paid for two days for the current marking (which will probably take four). He does see that continuing to work in this way is not sustainable but the anxiety paralyses him and he can't think of anything else he can do.

The tax bills have shocked me too. But it's a familiar feeling - this is how I got into debt in the first place. Maybe being self-employed is just not sustainable for me either.

Thanks both for kind words about my dad. He will be moved onto a proper rehabilitation ward once the experts have studied his brain scan. I hope that won't be long.