"Simply not solvent!

hypno06

I may talk about moving house - but really I have to think about that as being my motivation otherwise I would just give up. The reality really is, as for you, existing day to day, and keeping my head above water, trying not to incur too many bank charges. If I thought about the "real" situation we face every day, I would crumble.........and I cannot afford to do that, because I am not sure that I could recover from it.

So, look to the future - it may not be absolutely attainable, but it gives you something to reach for........ane while you are looking to the future, you have no option but to take the steps along the way that are the day to day things........

(not sure if that makes sense - it does to me, but then it would, wouldn't it as I'm the one who just wrote it!!!)

hypno06

Hope things are going well, and that you got that job finished x

Verbatim

Glad to hear about the possibility of your oh getting more sessional work.

But you are making fantastic progress, just look at your sig. You've paid off £15k in just 18 months! You're bound to have low points when it all seems soooooooo difficult but then you carry on and soon you'll be under £30k, £25k and then it'll just tumble.

Seaxwyn

Thanks for the nice messages Hypno and Verbatim!

Job still not finished but some progress made...... I have been feeling really down about work and my approach to it. I need some space to think about how best to reorganise my working life, to get back the excitement and enjoyment I used to have.

Other than that.... I got a record dealer round to look over our vinyl. He was keen to buy a lot of OH's records. OH not quite ready to let go, he wants to digitise them first, but at least we've sorted which are saleable, and got a couple of boxloads for carbooting. And I sold him 8 of my records for £5, which I was happy with.

Busy weekend coming up, and some friends are staying, which means a major clean-up and shop are needed.

Verbatim

Have a great weekend Seaxwyn. Sounds like a good time is required to recharge those batteries!

taxi73

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and can relax...take care xxx

Steel_2

Seaxwyn, I've only read about 10 pages of your thread but so identified with your situation that I thought I'd come on here and rally you on because you're doing fab!

I'm a freelance copywriter who last year was very much in the same boat as you and struggling to cope with chronic fatigue, demoralised about what I was doing and why. I was a huge procrastinator (still am if I let myself). I've no idea if the following things I do will be any help to you, but they helped me enormously:

1) I gave up worrying when I didn't have work and spent that time on my own writing projects and improving the marketing plan I had. The worry was making me very unwell.

When I analysed the work patterns it became clear that there were some months everyone would ring me and I'd be overloaded and some months when people didn't. No matter what, I consistently spend 4 hours a week (usually first thing Monday morning) putting out feelers for work, whether that's sending out letters, making phone calls or emailing people. I also pop onto some business forums a couple of times a week to get my name out and about and demonstrate my expertise in my field by helping them out with advice when they needed it. This can also lead to business.

2) I started listening to audio tapes and self-hypnosis tracks every morning to boost my self confidence and self esteem during this time. I think many women suffer from a lack of both. After about three months other people commented on the change in me. I was less likely to take !!!!!!!! and more likely to go after what I wanted or try something new without fear of rejection or that it might not work.

3) I do my writing first thing in the morning without checking emails or surfing the net - it gets my writing done at a time when my brain is freshest. After 1pm is just a disaster zone for writing for me (usually because postman hubby arrives home), so I use some of this time to do admin or research stuff on the net for writing projects if I have any. Then I can go and indulge my play side without feeling guilty. That's the part of me that loves self-sufficiency and gardening, growing my own food, playing with the chickens, making my own jams etc

4) I treat myself gently now. I used to have really high standards that I consistently failed to achieve day after day and nothing got done. I felt I should get up early, get showered and dressed, deal with the mail and emails, check the news, reply to emails yadda yadda yadda. Then I realised this way of doing things didn't work for me. In fact, it never worked for me when I was employed so why the hell would straight-jacketing myself into the same routine now?

So if it means I sit in bed with the laptop (no internet on my one by the way so no temptation!) and write without getting dressed until midday then so be it. The work gets done and I'm happy. I've given up worrying about what people think of me for it. It works for me, seems to quieten the side of me that craves a bit of freedom and indulgence, and to be frank lets me work in a warm, cozy environment I love (instead of getting back ache sitting bolt upright in an office chair).

5) Every morning I ask myself "how am I going to earn the x amount of money I need to hit my target this week?" Some weeks I don't hit it, some weeks I go waaaaaaaaay over it. I started doing this after completing some writing work for a multi-millionnaire financial advisor. He told me every morning he starts the day by asking himself "how am I going to earn the £10k I want to earn today?", brainstorming a plan, coming up with a schedule and working that schedule until he earnt it. Over the years, he developed all sorts of smart ways of working that maximised his billable time and outsourced all the things that didn't earn him money but took up his time. He sorted out his priorities - what was most important to him (financial fredom for his family and helping people understand how money works and is often used against them by organisations and the government) and then went all out for it!

If you get a chance, read a book by a lady called Barbara Sher called "How to live the life you love and stop just getting by". She deals with procrastination, why people do it and how to get around it. You might procrastinate because your play side wants to have fun so you have to bargain with it. Do one hour of work and then the rest of the day is yours. Sometimes you find just by allowing yourself to put work down and go off your brain kicks into a mad work state and a few hours later you're still there and working. Weird when it happens! Alternatively, you might be procastinating because this isn't the life you imagined for yourself and you need to figure out what is and make some adjustments. The book can help you figure that out too.

Phew...sorry for the long post. I get a bit evangelical about this sort of stuff!

taxi73

Wow Steel what a very inspirational post...(sorry for the hijack Seaxwyn)

Seaxwyn

Wow, Steel, thanks for that wonderful post. Loads of food for thought there and I'll put that book on my library list.

mizmir

Great post Steel - very helpful to many of us I am sure. Seaxwyn - have a fabulous weekend with your friends unwinding - it may well be that giving yourself that space will help you see things more clearly.

And even if it doesn't you can have lots of fun!