"Simply not solvent!

SingleSue

I had to take over the money side of things when I had just had eldest son as (now ex) hubby received a small bonus at work which I had already earmarked to pay the television license...he had other ideas however and went out and purchased a blooming computer game!

So I took control and it was a nightmare controlling his excessive side... I put it down to his lifestyle when he was growing up, his parents always had the latest gadgets, money being thrown around everywhere and everything was a brand name (all on credit I hasten to add, it's not a new occurence) whilst my experience of growing up was jumble sale clothes, stop at home holidays and make do and mend due to my dad suffering an accident at work and being unable to work for 4 years.

His main moan when we split was about the debt I had got us into, when it was his actions (going out and buying a £1400 watch on credit which I had said no to, going and getting a loan from his boss for £1200 for a specialised bike when I had said no) which forced me into extending our overdraft at the bank just so we could eat! *OD was £1600 when we split

Makes me laugh now, he has just remarried and he has really splashed the cash and taken on loans in excess of 8k to do so.....way in excess of the credit we ever had together and this is on top of other loans he has taken out in the couple of years we have been split, think he is in the hole to the tune of around 15k now compared the small amount of credit we had during our marriage - and they were mostly for his things!

Karmacat

Verbatim wrote: »

karma, dunno. you could be on to something. My OH and I have pretty similar outlooks around money so it's not something we argue about. Everything else but not money.......

Sure thing... if we're talking one possible version of male/female roles, there will be plenty of people who don't enter that category ...

Our debt problems weren't caused by reckless spending just huge changes in circumstances at the wrong moment.

I'm not referring to reckless spending, more the attention to detail thing: most women on here seem to have a grasp of the need to focus on the everyday budgetting, much more than their men. Thats all. And I wouldn't dream of referring to any regular on here as reckless spenders - "huge change in circumstances at the wrong moment" covers many of us, I think, partially including me too.

Seaxwyn

HI all - buddiebabe, I had to laugh at your supermarket story. Won't it be nice when we can fill a shopping basket without stressing over every muffin?

Karmacat, it certainly is a common theme on here - it certainly does seem to be usually (but not always) women who are the more responsible partners. I remember reading a report by ActionAid about projects to raise earnings in very poor communities overseas. They said it is always better value to assist women, as this is a bigger impact on the family and community than men's earnings do.

Having said that, my OH and I are very similar in a lot of other ways. There's just this one difference of money, and possibly as I have more consistent earnings than him so it's easier for me to manage things.

We are going off to pay his loan shortly - I will report back and amends my signature when it's done.

taxi73

Nice to hear that you have made your deciscion now.My husband likes to leave all the finances to me and doesn't even know where to start on finance.He always says he doesn't know what he would do if anything happened to me as he doesn't know what gets paid when and to who.Though he's always interested in saving money and paying the debts off and knows how much we owe.So maybe it is a man thing!!

Seaxwyn

The loan is cleared and our total debt today stands at £34,118.13. That is actually £1700 less than on 1 April this year, so I feel a bit better about things.

OH paid £275 so I didn't need to use any money from my ISA. I may well have to later this month but would really like to manage without if possible.

Now the challenge is to survive on the small amount of money we have left and to GET MORE WORK.

Feels like a milestone has been passed though and I think OH is suitably chastened by the gravity of all.

mizmir

Sounds like progress - well done.

taxi73

At least now you have one less payment to worry about.Good luck with finding some more work.sure you'll get some soon x

buddiebabe

Glad your feeling better about things. Its always good to see a debt disappear.
I have every confidence that you will get more work soon

Buddiebabe x

shadydaz

well done Seaxwyn, that is amazing progress for 18months.

chevalier

So that now means you can snowball the money that has been going to this loan to bring your debt free date closer!

Good luck on the work front.

I am alot less stressed tonight because we have found someone who will take the cats. I just hope that it is a nice place when we take them tomorrow
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