MSE Parent Club

SusanCarter

heather38 wrote: »

oh what a night. kennedy woke up at 8pm screaming, i went upto her and she was shaking and gasping for breath, and was staring into space.
we rushed her to a&e, 3 hours later we saw a dr who said he couldn't find anything wrong with her, and concluded that she'd had a bad dream!
not happy at all.
she's got nappy rash atm and it's infected so she's on penicillin and i thought it was an allergy but they said it wasn't as she didn't have a rash.
she seems ok now but i was a bit of a mess before. i can't believe they made us wait 3 hours with a baby!

I don't know what your out of hours GP service is like but it could be worth trying that next time. We thought Alice had an eye infection on Sunday morning so we phoned up about 7.15. They told us to come in so we went as soon as we'd finished feeding/changing her and were home by 9.15. It turned out it wasn't an infection but the doctor was very nice and said that it was better to check with them rather than assume it was okay and leave it. If it something serious, our out of hours GPs can get you admitted direct to the hospital so I would imagine it would be the same elsewhere. I'm quite shocked that they made you wait so long with a baby but when I was the highest priority which is not life threatening I had to wait 2 hrs in A&E whereas the out of hour doctor service has always been much quicker.
EDIT: Also the out of hours doctors tend not to be so rushed so they have the time to explain everything to you which means that you feel more happy with what they have said.

Becles

Sorry to hear that Heather. Glad Kennedy is ok now though.

[Deleted User]

Oh my goodness how worrying, like you I would have been beside myself hoping the baby was ok. Glad she is now though. Good point about out of hours doc though.

Its so frightening when they can't tell us what is the matter.

I had a bad night with Jack too, he woke at 3am, 4am and then 6am. The 4am waking I tried not to give him his dummy as he was only whinging, but this continued for 25 mins, then went into full blown hysterics. I'd already tried offering him a muslin instead of his dummy but he wasn't having any of it. After 50 mins of being awake including DH, I had to conceed and give him a dummy. I felt defeated though, all he's learnt is "If I scream and cry loud enough eventually i'll get it". But he was so distraught and even when I gave it to him, it took him a little while to stop crying and get resettled. I feel knackered this morning and wondering how the hell I am going to get him to stop being so dummy dependant. Maybe we'll just have to go with it and be woken up by him several times a night until he's old enough to explain about dummy fairies.

I've been booked in for an early scan tomorrow at 9.45am, feeling nervous now. They are checking the baby is in the right place and for a heartbeat. I still don't feel that pregnant and combined with all the other things I shouldn't had done and a on/off stomach ache, I am glad I asked for one.

I'd rather know now if the baby wasn't alive than wait another 5 weeks.

All of a sudden tomorrow seems a long way away.

SusanCarter

Sorry to hear you've had such a bad night Bailey. The only suggestion I can think of is to set a length of time for yourself as to how long you will wait when he cries before you give him the dummy. Perhaps if you start with something quite short and then gradually increase over time as I guess he's used to being given it fairly quickly so maybe it's such a shock if he doesn't get given it that it makes him worse? I'm only making guesses as to what might work but it's easier to think straight when you're not in the situation rather than in the throes of the baby crying and you're feeling desperate.

purplepatch

Bailey - one of my friends had a similar situation with her son who used to wake several times a night crying for his dummy. In the end she had enough, took it away and just sat it out for a couple of nights. Basically what you did last night, but didn't give in, let him cry and he wore himself out and eventually went off to sleep each time. Hideous I know, but a couple of nights of complete agony might pay off in the long term. Could you set yourself the task on the weekend, or when your hubby has some holiday off work, so it doesn't matter so much if neither of you has had much sleep and you can nap during the day when you get the opportunity? I know it's so difficult - my DD still wakes at night and I give her a bottle as I don't want her yelling to wake up my eldest. She does occasionally sleep through, so I know she doesn't really need it, but I always give in as it means I can get back to sleep quicker than would be the case if I tried to sit it out! Plus with you being pregnant to boot, you need your sleep, so doubly difficult.

Is your husband less likely to give in to him? Another friend whose baby was waking in the night went to stay at her friend's house for a couple of nights and left hubby to it. By the time she came back, bub was sleeping through the night as dad had done the controlled crying thing and hadn't given in. Perhaps a short break to visit your mum might be in order - will get you some sleep and might sort Jack out if your hubby can get tough! I know my dh would be hopeless as he's much more of a softie than me, both dds have him firmly wrapped round their little fingers :rotfl:

Good luck with the scan tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

Snaggles

Bailey, just wanted to say good luck with your scan, I hope all is well and it puts your mind at ease. xxx

heather38

thanks every one. our on call gp is a call centre service, i rang them first but they said to take her to a & e as she was gasping for breath and going a funny colour.
she's ok today and very nonplussed by it all, she's been very sleepy today but that might be because she didn't sleep last night.
gave me a heart attack she did!

[Deleted User]

I like your ideas everyone about the dummy. The one about DH doing the task sounds practical, he can be tough enough not to give in, whereas last night after all the fuss, I lay in bed crying myself as hearing him so distressed upset me, plus I was annoyed that I'd been awake for over an hour only to give in, could have stuck the dummy in in the first second. I'll have a chat with DH to see what he says. That way I could relieve him in the morning and let him sleep. The only drawback is I will know Jack will be crying his little heart out and I can't be there to comfort him.

Today he made me really cross, food again! I kept reminding myself "stay in control, keep calm, don't let him wind you up", I was doing really well, but then he did something, I snapped and shouted at him. I felt awful as his bottom lip wobbled, then he started to cry. I went into the kitchen ignoring him and cried again myself. I think we were both tired. Afterwards I scooped him up and apologised, hugging him close and still crying. I was trying not to so he couldn't pick up on my vibes, but the tears wouldn't stop.

At lunch though I had my mum and a friend around. I did jacket spuds/fillings/salad. We brought Jack to the table and I gave him some in a bowl. He had potato with cheese and ham mashed in. Then we gave him a spoon and let him get on with it. He ate some with his fingers, some off the spoon from us and managed a little of the spoon by himself. A result! Tomorrow he is having the same.

I love my little boy so much, but when he starts crying just because he can't have something, or I've taken something away, or I am trying to rub in his face cream and he's not in the mood, I feel like snapping at him as I'm not in the mood either. But I really try not to, he's only being a baby and doesn't know much different. i'm the adult and need to be setting an example and show some patience.

I am worried about tomorrow.........

I'm rambling and off to bed now, so tired from last night.

Becles

Hope you get a decent nights sleep tonight bailey and that all goes well tomorrow.

I don't know what is up with Charlotte today. She's been up since 7am and has only had odd 20 min cat naps rather than a proper sleep. She's fed almost constantly since about 2pm this afternoon, and my nipples are throbbing now. I'm going to try and give her a bottle for her bed time feed shortly, as I don't think I can stand to feed her myself again.

I'm hoping she'll sleep well during the night, and wake up as normal in the morning!

cha97michelle

heather sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. glad little missy is ok today.

bailey the tears could be your hormones. Early pregnancy is tough, but also our babies are at a trying age. I snapped at Charlie today. same thing with the wobbly lip-and i felt bad because i had lost my patience. I even gave him a gentle tap on the bum today because he was being a big monkey and wouldn't lie still while i changed a severely poopy nappy. They are learning the boundaries a bit at the moment, and you are dealing with it with the hormones and sleep deprivation too, so please don't beat yourself up.

In terms of controlled crying, i don't know how well it works. My HV recommended that i just stand at the side of Charlie when he was not settling for bed, and not leaving him on his own crying for longer than a minute. If i were you at the moment, i would let him have the dummy, as it really isn't a big problem at the minute. It's actually a sign that he is growing a bit more independent that he can settle himself with the dummy. I'd go for the idea of having lots around him and see if he can find them himself.

becles i know what you are going through. That is the stage where i gave up breast feeding and resorted to expressing for him as he would drink till there was nothing and then pull at my nipple until i was really sore. and i would be sat there in tears, as would he. Someone said to me you feed him, and then top him up with a cople of oz of milk. I really wish i had done it that way and kept it up a bit longer. Feel proud that you are doing what have done, but make sure you look after yourself too, cos that is equally important

funny we both had that experience at the 3/4 month stage. Must be a big growth spurt. Will try to remember that for if i breast feed again, and it might help me do it a bit longer.


Michelle, x