MSE Parent Club

[Deleted User]

Lol Snaggles we sound similar. I try and tidy as we go along, at the moment Jack's toys are in a plastic storage box and his larger toys kind of fit in around the other lounge furniture. His nappy changing stuff is in a basket near the table so all in the same place. I put his dirty clothes in his laundry basket straight away so the puke smell/milk aroma doesn't permeate the lounge!!! I wash up his bottle/weaning stuff as soon as finished with and stack the bottles in the steriliser so come half five I can put it straight on and water them up before Jack's bath at 6. That way they can cool down so by the time he's in bed at 7 I can make them up, whilst doing dinner. Just trying to get myself on the sofa before 9pm - didn't happen this eve though. I always pack his changing bag and night before, so I don't forget anything and I try to empty it when we return so it doesnt smell.

I bet you do most of that too eh? Sorry can't remember if you breastfeed.

My husband is really untidy and messy, though he does try hard to meet my standards, but he just doesn't see things. For example, he changed Jack's bum this morning before leaving and left the nappy on the floor, bedclothes on the lounge and wipes scattered, but considered the job done!! The fact he went up and down the stairs several times before he left, walking over the sleepsuit/vest on the floor as he went, means it didn't occur to him to pick it up and take it up to the laundry basket. So i have 2 to tidy after!

What I am wondering about is bedtime. Jack currently has a routine and is in bed by 7pm, I've worked hard to get this and don't want to lose it when the baby is born. But how do I sort out the baby who won't have a routine and get Jack to bed on time on my own. Jack can't be left in the bath, the new baby could go in but what do I do with the other whilst one is being dried? How do I merge the baby to fit into Jack's routine so eventually by 4-5 months old I have them both in bed by 7pm?

I sound like a right worrywort and yes I am panicking slightly. I am a second child and my mum said I was more laid back and amused myself more as a baby as my mum didn't have the time to give me as much attention as my brother, understandably. But there is 2.5 years between us. I'm sure it will be ok, but I don't know how.

Snaggles I like the idea of the fake leather boxes, shame I haven't the room or need for them at the moment. Maybe in the future. Thanks for the idea though.

Becles

There is 2 years between my boys and and had the same worries.

When James needed feeding, I'd sit Joshua next to me and we'd either watch TV or look at a book. It kept him quiet, plus he didn't feel pushed out by the baby.

I can't remember specific things I did, but you do just adapt and cope with it all.

Snaggles

You are already doing so well having Jack in such a good routine.

Natasha tends to fall asleep for half an hour or so after a feed (yes, I'm breastfeeding), or at least is placid enough to sit her in a bouncy chair watching MTV (she seems to like the music and colours lol) for half an hour while I sort Ryan out and get him to bed (he HAS to stay in his routine, as otherwise he gets very unsettled, so I can sympathise).

I would say (but I'm only guessing) that it might be easier to fit the baby around Jack's routine, rather than fit Jack's routine around the baby.

You don't sound like a worrywort, just a good Mum who wants the best for her children, and I'm sure you know in your heart that you will find a solution that suits you and your family (and allows you to retain your sanity ).

Snaggles

Oh, I had to laugh about your husband not seeing mess too - mine once dropped a cotton wool ball on the steps, and I saw him walk past it twice without picking it up, so I thought 'Right, this is going to be a battle of wills, I refuse to pick it up for him'. So I left it there.

Two days later, I picked it up, hoovered under it, and.....yep.....put it back where it was! :rotfl:

Eventually he gave in and picked it up - result!!!

moozikgal

Hi Bailey,

If you feel that you need a hand at all around the house when you have the new baby there is a charity called homestart that are there for mums with babies under 5. They match you up with someone who has been in a similar situation to you so they can offer support and advice for free. They will pop round to the house and give you a hand if you need it or just sit and have a cuppa with you and let you chat about things that are going on.

I considered calling them when i had nathan but found a local surestart centre which i ended up almost living at during the week! Homestart are highly recomended by mums, people can help you by doing the dishes or taking you shopping or even just watching one of the little ones while you do a one on one bath time.

I have only got nathan and do sometimes wonder how i would cope as well. Im sure Jack will understand feeding times and be quite happy to sit with you and watch the telly or even talk to the baby whilst you are feeding. My sister had twins, she breastfed one and bottle fed the other and said that it worked quite well for her as others could help out.

Try not to worry and enjoy your pregnancy!

SusanCarter

I've only got one so far so I can't speak from experience but my mum said my first brother was so much easier because she knew what she was doing. She said that when she had me I filled her day and she couldn't imagine how people managed a second baby when they had a toddler to deal with too. One thing I know she did was put videos on for me to watch while she was dealing with my brother. Another option would perhaps be to read a story book to Jack when you're feeding the new baby. If you do manage to breastfeed with the next one, that sort of thing will be easier as you can have one (or sometimes even two) hands free which you don't get with bottle feeding. Also, do you know anyone who can come round to give you a hand? A friend of mine had her second when the first was 13 months and I used to go round one morning a week to help. It was great as I got to play with the toddler and learnt quite a bit about looking after a baby and she was able to get on with doing a few household jobs she wouldn't have got done otherwise.

People do cope with twins, triplets, children close together etc but that doesn't mean that they don't find it difficult so it is not silly to be concerned about it. Incidentally, I have noticed that where people have had the second baby much closer don't seem to have had the jealousy problems that those with children 2+ yrs apart have had so that is one area where you will benefit. Also the older child will often play with the baby so you do not have to spend so much time entertaining them as when you just have one child.

On the subject of bedtime, we give Alice a bath then feed at 6 and in bed by 7 (in theory at least). I don't know how labour intensive Jack's bedtime routine is (or will be by then) but if it was possible to merge the routines somehow (e.g. consecutive baths, starting bedtime routine a bit earlier, read bedtime story while feeding baby) I would have thought it would be possible to have roughly similar bedtimes for them. Obviously I'm just making guesses as I don't have the experience but hopefully something is useful.

SusanCarter

Just remembered my friend also had students on placement (one at a time) from a local college who were doing some kind of childcare diploma.

purplepatch

Bailey, I also don't have 2 that close together, but really try not to worry as it will all just fall into place when you have to do it. Feeding wise, Jack will be much more solids oriented when the new baby comes, you will probably only be giving him milk at bedtime by then. Bedtime, carry on with your 7 o'clock bedtime routine and don't worry about the baby to start with - just let baby do their own thing for a while and after 6 weeks or so, try putting baby down at the same time as Jack so the routine can get established for baby too. That's what we did and DD2 stayed downstairs at first with us until we went to bed until she was a couple of months old and showing signs that she was ready to settle at 7pm. Bathtime, I can seriously recommend getting a bath support from mothercare suitable from birth, ergonomically shaped and baby kind of lies in it, but feels very secure - which leaves your hands free to wash both kids. It made bathtime superb for us, a real doddle. Then they can both be bathed and dried simultaneously, problem solved.

Like snaggles said, the second one will be so much more adaptable than your first as they have to just fit in around everything. For me the mornings before preschool are pretty manic and DD2 just has to wait to be fed until we get back from school... mean mummy I know, but she is used to it and never ever moans. They adapt to whatever routine you need them to.

Becles

Charlotte slept for 7½ hours last night. That's the longest she has gone between feeds so far.

And I feel much better having got a decent sleep as well.

Snaggles

Hurray Becles, so glad you had a good night with her. :T

Natasha can sleep for England so I haven't really experienced a huge amount of sleep deprivation, but I can sympathise - it must completely wipe you out if you are having a lot of broken nights. She wakes up STARVING though and feeds viciously for the first couple of minutes....ouch!