MSE Parent Club

[Deleted User]

Hi everyone,

I ended up telling hubbie yesterday, he could tell something was on my mind and when I don't tell him and he knows it can turn into an atmoshphere. I didn't want to spoil his day. So i waited until he had his father's day treasure hunt and his breakfast and told him. He sat there and said "oh", "oh", "oh no". I explained why I was worried but he didn't blame me after all it takes two to tango, but he wasn't pleased and doesnt really feel ready or want this baby. I'm hoping time will help.

I did another test this morning with my digital one - "pregnant". I showed hubbie and he said well there's no denying that then.

I don't know what we are going to do. At least morning sickness hasn't kicked in yet, but have felt slightly nauseas on a few occassions.

If this LO survives I really want to try to b/f, I couldn't with my son and I wish I could have done.

I guess we potentially have 9 months to get used to this. Each day at a time.

[Deleted User]

Someone suggested a beaker with Jack. I am already given him water with a free flow one as suggested by my HV. But its quite fast and he always ends up losing so much he soaks himself. So I don't really want to use a beaker for milk until he becomes good at controlling the flow and swallowing it nicely.

I think he's just being a pickle, both yesterday and today he took 6 oz in 5 mins cos he was hungry.

Curious_George_2

Deleted_User wrote:

I ended up telling hubbie yesterday, he could tell something was on my mind and when I don't tell him and he knows it can turn into an atmoshphere. I didn't want to spoil his day. So i waited until he had his father's day treasure hunt and his breakfast and told him. He sat there and said "oh", "oh", "oh no". I explained why I was worried but he didn't blame me after all it takes two to tango, but he wasn't pleased and doesnt really feel ready or want this baby. I'm hoping time will help.

My OH is like that, theres no point trying to keep anything secret!

I know it must be a bit of a shock but time will help,
you have ages to get used to the idea and although he will worry about the usual things he will love this new baby just as much by the time the midwife lays it in his arms for his first cuddle,

people manage and so will you, after all.. you already have all the stuff!
so the costs for this one wont be nearly as high and look at it this way,
your 2 children will be close in age, great playing partners and when they both go to school, you get your lives back (a bit)
everything done in one go!

ok, a little simplistic, but im just trying to give you ideas to put to your hubby when he starts to worry!

Snaggles

Heather, I really feel for you - despite everything, I LOVE breastfeeding and am quite dreading the day when I stop. She'll still need you in so many other ways though. And when she cuddles up to you, at least you'll know it because she loves you to bits, not just because she's hungry.

Bailey - Congratulations - I know the timing is all wrong etc, but still congratulations. Give yourselves a bit of time to get used to the idea and try not to worry about the 'what if's. As you say, each day at a time. I'm sure your hubby will come round, he's maybe just a bit shellshocked, like you are. You know where we are if you need someone to talk to.

helend

Deleted_User wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I ended up telling hubbie yesterday, he could tell something was on my mind and when I don't tell him and he knows it can turn into an atmoshphere. I didn't want to spoil his day. So i waited until he had his father's day treasure hunt and his breakfast and told him. He sat there and said "oh", "oh", "oh no". I explained why I was worried but he didn't blame me after all it takes two to tango, but he wasn't pleased and doesnt really feel ready or want this baby. I'm hoping time will help.

I did another test this morning with my digital one - "pregnant". I showed hubbie and he said well there's no denying that then.

I don't know what we are going to do. At least morning sickness hasn't kicked in yet, but have felt slightly nauseas on a few occassions.

If this LO survives I really want to try to b/f, I couldn't with my son and I wish I could have done.

I guess we potentially have 9 months to get used to this. Each day at a time.

Hugs

We found out nearly 2 months ago that we were expecting number 3 who definitely wasn't on the cards. We were unhappy because timing was completely wrong, finances weren't up to it etc and I felt 'down' for quite a while.

But now we are really happy and really looking forward to another baby - it's given us a kick up the bum to get finances in order. It sounds trite but give it time, you will get used to it, you'll soon see the positives and really look forward to another member of the family.

Congratulations.

purplepatch

Congratulations Bailey, you will both get used to the idea in time and it will be lovely to have your 2 kids with what, about 16 months between them - they will be able to entertain each other and hopefully be really close. Hard work but lovely. Don't know if you were planning to stop at one, but if not, at least the decision has been taken out of your hands. I ummed and ahhed about when I felt ready to try for number 2 and in the end we wound up with a 3 and a half year age gap which I think is a bit too much - and it's still hard work. Even though DD1 is more self sufficient, she is demanding of my time in other ways.

When I fell pregnant with DD1 it was accidental and me and hubby were due to get married when I was about 11 weeks. DH wasn't at all happy about it, I felt terrible, guilty even though like you say it takes two to tango and all that. Now we look back on it and have a giggle and say how glad we were it happened otherwise we wouldn't have our beloved little girl as she'd be somebody else if I'd got pregnant after the wedding.

He he, you'd better get back to the pregnancy club ....................

Lu_T

Hi Bailey - congratulations! Really great news and I'm pleased you could talk to hubby. Sounds like he did pretty well in the circumstances. I can only echo what everyone else had said about being positive, getting used to it and it being a blessing.

I'm a bit jealous TBH. I don't want another baby yet, but I've really missed being pregnant, especially my bump. I've spoken to a couple of mummy mates and apparently this is quite normal. I thought I was going insane!

Cloth nappies - forgot to say that I came across this site http://www.cut4cloth.co.uk/ which specialises in clothes for babies in real nappies. TBH I just put Imogen in the size bigger trousers and roll up the bottoms! Also, for girls, stretchy leggings are great for getting over the nappies. HTH.

OOh! Just checked and Cut 4 Cloth are having a sale - the first one ever, some real bargains!

Lu_T

Snaggles - how on earth do you keep your shopping to £40/week? What do you eat? Wish we could spend less on our shopping but it regularly gets into 3 figures (eek!)

Snaggles

Lu_T wrote: »

Snaggles - how on earth do you keep your shopping to £40/week? What do you eat? Wish we could spend less on our shopping but it regularly gets into 3 figures (eek!)

Lol, well we didn't manage it really, we blew the budget nearly every week! This month should be a bit easier - we'll have about £50 per week...wooooo!

It hasn't included nappies though because I got given £60 in Boots vouchers from work when I left, and with those and the money off coupons you get sent in the first few weeks from all the baby clubs etc, we haven't had to pay for any nappies yet!

[Deleted User]

Thanks everyone for your support, i hear what your are saying and I think you are all right. My mum has just popped round and helped me get some things in perspective too. It will be ok, I really really want this baby to survive now. I am quite worried about miscarriage. But then I remember that with Jack and he's definitely here!!!