Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

You see, a lot of that isn't stuff we ever had is it. I've numbered them for quick ease of reply:

1] We used to get a free bus pass to get to school if the school were over 3 miles. Up to 3 miles you walked. Didn't have to buy stationery either.

2] We didn't have any of that. Revision aids = the notes you wrote in lessons. No idea about Unis, never went.

3] Clothes were 2nd hand (except new PJs for Xmas), even school uniform was 2nd hand. Didn't have a social life. No b'day presents for friends. Didn't visit family, or universities.

4] Running a car? My parents never put a penny towards my learning to drive or buying/running a car. No mobile phones obviously - if I wanted to use the home phone I had to ask permission, then was hovered over to keep it brief, then I had to put down the pennies for the call. Decent clothes - that's a laugh, had none. Sports - nope. Social stuff - it's free to sit on the bench at the village green every night.

5] Pure luxuries.

Mostly they're not the cost of kids, they're the cost of choices.... and, with that list, it's time for a POSH ALERT

It's a generational thing, rather than a deprived home or posh alert.

We walked to school, as did everyone else. The school provided far more stationary and text books and revision stuff than they do now.

We had new clothes, but a more limited social life.

We never had a car at their age. We asked to use the phone and had to restrict ourselves to local calls before 6pm. We also used to hang out with friends rather than go to places.

So don't feel terribly deprived.

Mobile phones have a lot to answer for. If we went out we had to make arrangements in advance and be back at a set time. Nowadays the kids make and change arrangements on the go and text if coming home time changes etc.

Generation thing with kids cars too. Given that they need to travel to school, driving themselves partly offsets the cost, plus insuring kids on adult cars is expensive.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

Also, that's not occurred to us. This only really came up yesterday afternoon at about 5pm, my sibling's going home today and we need to visit places this morning and decide as the H place are keen to ship the old out. If we don't choose they'll just ship the old 'anywhere' that has a bed/has the special feature.

my grandmother got 'shipped out' without consultation. It would give you a breathing space to find a suitable home. At least she will be appropriately cared for while waiting and the new home can assess needs easier when she is already in situ with special feature.

Wheezy_2

I hunt every day....with my fearless westie hound, on the local playing field, inbetween the tennis ball fetching, he does run after the odd pigeon or squirrel, but he never manages to catch anything

It's been busy at work (year end), so I haven't posted, read or thanked a lot on here, but wish you all the best for the New Year.

Itismehonest

SingleSue wrote: »

Jumblies is correct...I still buy them for the boys.

:j I haven't completely lost it then

zagubov wrote: »

I never tried to!

I'm convinced you're describing Tunnock's teacakes. I'm back in Scotland now so I'll look out for them.

Thanks! If they are about 3" wide then I'll take it all back.

Masomnia wrote: »

I'm starting to fall behind too

No smart phone, not for a while anyway, and the one I get will be an old one; old computer; never used Twitter; modern music is a mystery to me now... old fuddy duddy!

No smart phone here - no signal. Never used Twitter or Facebook as I've always had a distinct distrust of them. I do keep fairly up-to-date with the laptop world - it's a bit of a lifeline.
"modern music is a mystery to me now... old fuddy duddy!" Meet old fuddy duddy Mk2

Itismehonest

PasturesNew wrote: »

We've had them involved in the past.... but, to be honest, they work too slowly to be of any use. They take weeks before a volunteer can meet you and we don't have weeks, we have hours/days.

Also, that's not occurred to us. This only really came up yesterday afternoon at about 5pm, my sibling's going home today and we need to visit places this morning and decide as the H place are keen to ship the old out. If we don't choose they'll just ship the old 'anywhere' that has a bed/has the special feature.

Unless things have changed I'm not sure that the H can actually do that, can they? I know an old of ours had to be kept in H because there were problems over where they could go. That was a few years ago, though, & things alter. Has the old's GP been involved? Maybe he/she can suggest somewhere or get the H to wait longer for you to find the right place?

SingleSue

silvercar wrote: »

It's a generational thing, rather than a deprived home or posh alert.

We walked to school, as did everyone else. The school provided far more stationary and text books and revision stuff than they do now.

We had new clothes, but a more limited social life.

We never had a car at their age. We asked to use the phone and had to restrict ourselves to local calls before 6pm. We also used to hang out with friends rather than go to places.

So don't feel terribly deprived.

Mobile phones have a lot to answer for. If we went out we had to make arrangements in advance and be back at a set time. Nowadays the kids make and change arrangements on the go and text if coming home time changes etc.

Generation thing with kids cars too. Given that they need to travel to school, driving themselves partly offsets the cost, plus insuring kids on adult cars is expensive.

We walked to school too, for primary school is was only 5 minutes walk away, for high school, 20 minutes fast walk uphill (could do it in 15 mins on the way home!)

James still walks to school most days, he almost always walks home too, his main high school is a 30 minute walk, the other high school he attends (6th form is split over the two high schools), is at least a 45 minute walk. He also walks to all his friends and to his part time job (one hour walk away)

My dad had a car when I was at high school, in fact, he had a car for most of my young life, think there was only a short period when he was without a car (I have very dim memories of a Rover with leather seats and a motorcycle in the back garden)..it was very rarely used for school runs. Mum also had a car (she passed her test when I was 7) and again, she tended to have her own car.

I walked everywhere, in all kinds of weather...to me, taking a bus was a waste of money. The walking tended to be done in high heels.....and mini skirt, I had the legs for it then!

We would make our arrangements during the day, we rarely used the telephone but then we didn't really need to, my closest friends were either a few doors up or across the road.

In the early days, we didn't have new clothes, money was very tight for my parents after dad had his accident, so we wore jumble sale or home made/knitted clothes....I still can't go to jumble sales to this day, instant panic attack. Despite the lack of money, my parents always ensured we had Clarkes shoes. In later years, I bought my own clothes (age 12 onwards) from the local market with my part time earnings as me and mum didn't quite agree on what a 12 year old should be wearing. I would adapt the clothes to the latest fashion, handsewing the changes/extras.

Our holidays were simple affairs, camping in the main with mum looking through the camping books for the cheapest sites....one year we couldn't afford that and had two weeks with my paternal grandmother in Rye Harbour, awesome fun was had and the weather was great. No matter how short of money, they always made sure we had some kind of holiday to build memories and knowledge, even if the holiday was with either of the grandmothers (maternal grandmother lived in London so quite a few breaks spent there visiting the sites)

We didn't have the latest gadgets, mum and dad didn't even get a VCR until after I had left home...I got mine before them! We didn't go on the expensive school trips, although I did go to Holland with the school.

My parents though supported my dancing, it cost them so much for me to continue with it and it must have been hard going on them, especially as the costs increased with the outfits required for the shows..they eventually pulled the plug when I was 15 and I had needed 7 changes of clothes for the annual show at the cost of £50-£100 each. This was on top of constant new pairs of block shoes, practice ballet shoes, tap shoes, leotards, tights etc plus the lessons.

I, at first, could not understand why they pulled me out, dancing was my life and at first, I was very annoyed with them but as the years have gone on and I have had my children, I have started to understand why they had to...I was not the only child they had but I was taking the lion share of excess (and essential) money, it was quite simply, almost bankrupting them and leaving them with nothing spare to cover the other two children.

All in all, it was a happy childhood, we didn't feel deprived at all despite not having all the extras some of my friends had.

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

Also, that's not occurred to us. This only really came up yesterday afternoon at about 5pm, my sibling's going home today and we need to visit places this morning and decide as the H place are keen to ship the old out. If we don't choose they'll just ship the old 'anywhere' that has a bed/has the special feature.

Next week may be a good time to have another word with the advocates organisation Pastures. They will be able to help you talk to the hospital and stop them trying to strong arm you. What you are describing is not dissimilar to how they helped before, so I'm sure they'll help again.

silvercar

I, at first, could not understand why they pulled me out, dancing was my life and at first, I was very annoyed with them but as the years have gone on and I have had my children, I have started to understand why they had to...I was not the only child they had but I was taking the lion share of excess (and essential) money, it was quite simply, almost bankrupting them and leaving them with nothing spare to cover the other two children.

I was pulled out of ballet by the age of 6, very upset. But my parents realised that I didn't have the making of a dancer and times were still tight at that point.

SingleSue

Think my parents kept me in because I did have the makings of a dancer....the year I was pulled out, I featured on a local news item where they called me the upcoming ballerina in the area and one who will go far.

When it was aired, I had only been told that day that my parents were pulling me out....I was in tears watching it.

Since then, I have found it very hard to dance, dancing was my life (it took up a lot of my day) and life didn't seem much worth it when it had to end. To be on the stage and in lessons from the age of 5 to nothing at all (although I did try to continue some dance training at home for a while), it was my be all and end all.

Of course now, dance was also the thing which has had the major impact on my joints....spinal arthritis by the time I was mid 20's.

misskool

We never had any holidays as a child, I think I remember one or two small affairs. My parents saved all the money to pay for our university fees and associated costs. My grandfather died when my dad just finished his A-levels so he had to go to work and missed out. So that was his aspiration for all of us.

Never did feel left out, we always had plenty of things to keep us occupied.