Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

SingleSue

sss555s wrote: »

SUE!!! Don't let Dave near the cake!!! especially if he's had a few drinks :rotfl:

What like my brother then.......he was dancing and stumbled a little and hey presto, one squashed boob :rotfl:

Youngest rebuilt the boob yesterday...is there no end to his talents, straightening my hair on Saturday night and now rebuilding a cake boob.

PasturesNew

The old sits silently, alone in a room without sound..... and I am hiding/crying in despair in the dark in my room alone. And I have no idea what to do. I don't have any energy left to be fake chirpy, I've lost the will to care, I just want a miracle to happen ... but it won't.

And tomorrow's another day of the same.... again.

elona

Pastures

You are doing your very best. You can't wave a magic wand and conjure up the perfect place. If you did "the old" would move the goalposts again.

The best thing ( and the most difficult) is to remove yourself as soon as possible so choices become clearer.

You have done really well and need to remove yourself from the equation or the result will be what no one wants (not the old, you or siblings).

Davesnave

sss555s wrote: »

SUE!!! Don't let Dave near the cake!!! especially if he's had a few drinks :rotfl:

Although I get out & about, as evidenced by my snap of Jelly's workplace just over a week ago, I can confidently say that I shall not be within 200 miles of it. (more's the pity!:()

Davesnave

PasturesNew wrote: »

The old sits silently, alone in a room without sound.....

And tomorrow's another day of the same.... again.

You are upset beause, despite your best efforts, you cannot replace what 'old has lost. You would if you could, but putting this right is beyond anyone.

The only thing that will help is the passage of time.

I agree with Elona; you may hate the idea of leaving your parent to work this out alone, but the longer you stay the harder that will be. You can still keep a weather eye out, just as I did for my Dad.

PasturesNew

Davesnave wrote: »

... just as I did for my Dad.

But my old starts off incompetent and unable ... the gone old did everything. The old can't even be relied on to not drop their plate/dinner ... already done it 2x that I've been around to discover (clean up and sort out).

So unable.... at everything.

The old won't accept 'aids' of any sort either, so I have to let them struggle on, knowing it'll cause accidents.

vivatifosi

Pastures, the old's world has been turned upside down.

A year ago they were bumbling along, being looked after and cosseted as they had been for the 50 or so years before that. They probably never gave a thought to that not happening for the next 50.

They probably didn't expect the other old to die when they did. Almost certainly they didn't expect their world to turn around so quickly. They probably feel like they are going downhill at 100 miles an hour in a car with no brakes. As a result they are clinging to you because you represent normality and no change. They will know that change has to happen, but what they are doing is what they can to delay the inevitable. They'll come round eventually, but for the time being you can't rationalise with a person who is not acting rationally.

I'm so pleased to hear about your new place, you need your own space and time to think and drink in your own solitude. It will do both of you the world of good.

I wish both you and the old all the best in moving on.

LydiaJ

Will come back later this evening to catch up with everything that's been happening on the thread, but for now I just want to let you all know that Snowy the hamster is fine. The weird rice-looking stuff appears to be actual rice, according to the vet. We have no idea how she got hold of it. We've never given her any, so she must have found some on one of the occasions when she escaped, althought I still can't think where she could have got it from without leaving telltale chew-marks. Anyway, rice is very bad for hamsters if they eat it, but it seems she didn't eat it - just put it in her pouches and stored it in her cage, from where I removed it. So we are all very relieved, especially DD.

michaels

Now if it had been me spending three days making the cake it would have been 1 hour of baking and....

....2 days, 23 hours of research :rotfl:

SingleSue wrote: »

Well it wasn't me, my boobs are a wee bit bigger than that .......he actually modeled it on a shop dummy of all things.

elona

Pastures

While you are "covering up " like the other old did - no one will realise there is a problem. Until that happens no solution willl be suggested- unless you are seen as a solution.

You can't make "old" young, surrounded by friends, partner, young children - or properly aware of limitations and needed safeguards.

You need to get others involved for "old's sake even though you might hate the idea and "old" hates it even more.

If the house was on fire you would get the "old" out and leave for all your sakes and call the fire brigade. This is a similar situation for all of you.