Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

GDB2222

silvercar wrote: »

Spoke to neighbour yesterday ( the one with the I'll wife), she's had imunent pneumonia and had been in intensive care for 3 days. But she's recovering and should be home next week. They appreciated the card. Then I put my foot in it. By commenting on the cleaning van that had been outside the house on Thursday. Don't think I was meant to have noticed that as he assured me he could manage very well, it was just that flowers needed clearing because her lungs are vulnerable.

What's wrong with having paid cleaners? He was probably with his wife a lot, and maybe cleaning wasn't what he wanted to do with the rest of his time? Not sure how that means you put your foot in it.

PasturesNew

Persuaded old to re-visit a new place yesterday (2nd visit) ... old liked the place, but has now come up with new criteria for where they want to be. So, now exasperated, only solution is to leave them in their own home and get in the services they need ... and for me to disappear. So, I'll be moving shortly .... and getting services in place. Only place to go to from here is warden-controlled, so have to wait/bid until successful.... and I've set old's expectations that it might be a year.

Old's quite distraught and upset and feeling "got at", but that's tough really. End of my tether now, I was being played and goalposts were being moved all the time..... and old wouldn't commit or discuss anything. So it's now time for the short sharp shock treatment.... where they get to live entirely alone ... in the dark ... and winter ... and lonely lonely cold. Just like millions of other people in the country. I can't dig up the gone old, especially as we didn't bury them anyway.... and I can't make people be the old's friend and entertain them.

silvercar

GDB2222 wrote: »

What's wrong with having paid cleaners? He was probably with his wife a lot, and maybe cleaning wasn't what he wanted to do with the rest of his time? Not sure how that means you put your foot in it.

Either that I shouldn't have noticed the cleaning van outside (which would be difficult) or the suggestion that he couldn't have managed on his own. I think he was being sensitive, rather than me doing anything wrong. Me saying "if you need us for anything just knock on" may have made him feel that he needed to say he could manage.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

Persuaded old to re-visit a new place yesterday (2nd visit) ... old liked the place, but has now come up with new criteria for where they want to be. So, now exasperated, only solution is to leave them in their own home and get in the services they need ... and for me to disappear. So, I'll be moving shortly .... and getting services in place. Only place to go to from here is warden-controlled, so have to wait/bid until successful.... and I've set old's expectations that it might be a year.

Old's quite distraught and upset and feeling "got at", but that's tough really. End of my tether now, I was being played and goalposts were being moved all the time..... and old wouldn't commit or discuss anything. So it's now time for the short sharp shock treatment.... where they get to live entirely alone ... in the dark ... and winter ... and lonely lonely cold. Just like millions of other people in the country. I can't dig up the gone old, especially as we didn't bury them anyway.... and I can't make people be the old's friend and entertain them.

oh dear!

Hopefully services coming in will mean they do get looked after.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I was being played and goalposts were being moved all the time.

I feel sorry for you. And your exasperation. But I just think it worth remembering people DO change their mind and goalpost for themelves a lot, and no more so than when scared and distressed.

I think getting services in place and getting out is probably your best course of action.

where are you going?

Davesnave

PasturesNew wrote: »

So, now exasperated, only solution is to leave them in their own home and get in the services they need ... and for me to disappear.

See how it goes. The only way to find out is to try it.

My guess is that old will last 6 weeks max before reconsidering.

OTOH, if it worked, old might be able to stay for a couple more years, or until the dreamed-of sheltered housing comes up....;)

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

where are you going?

Dunno... under a bush probably. Trouble is, goalposts might move again so it's difficult to move far and I don't really want to be signing ASTs either.

So, not "free" to make my own choices at all.

Also, can't house-share (to avoid an AST) as everybody wants "young professionals" to share with - and I find others annoying - and I tend to wander about in the middle of the night/out in the garden at 3am etc.... so I'm difficult to live with. And I'm not a trendy/young people's idea of the ideal housemate (being older than their mum).

Have to see what's around, how far away it is and pick something quickly that's the best that's available right now.

PasturesNew

Davesnave wrote: »

My guess is that old will last 6 weeks max before reconsidering.

I should open a book on it .... could be anywhere between 2 weeks and 2 months

So, really, I have to pretend I've moved out/getting on with things .....

michaels

What odds are you quoting for 6 weeks?

Could you find lodgings?

Not everyone looking for a lodger is a house share - sometimes it is someone older looking for a bit of rent a room income. Shame you need to remain fairly near as I am sure there are lots of nice people who would put you up for a few weeks while you looked around.

michaels

LydiaJ wrote: »

Thanks michaels. .... When's the confirmation?

Believe it or not that is not a simple question so I will answer at the other place this evening.