Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

Wheezy_2

lostinrates wrote: »

I do put clean knickers on every day..unless going commando.

michaels

Off Topic I know but as we are on the discuss house prices board I was wondering how many of the nice people own their own house and indeed have bought it recently despite the threat of a price crash.

I'll go first, I bought my first house in 2001 and traded up in March last year.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Lydia, do they have uncles who have a family and might take them for fun childfriendly weekends? When we have heating or in the summer dh and I would love to borrow them overnight on a saturday so we have an excuse to go to child orientated things like Longlest safari...when they know me better and have met dh: I wouldn't presume to have them stay after one meeting!. . DH is more active than I. I think a young boy to run around with and climb trees etc with would be welcome. And I'm guessing they have Godparents who love them and would love to have them to stay a couple of times a year? Lukewise paternal GPs? As they get more robust with time a strong network not with you but that is based around you and them might also be beneficial for them. I hope you are not backwards in asking with this network....they might fear offending you/overstepping a boundary if they offer.

fwiw, as an ex babysitter...you need one who is prepared to stay later or stay overnight. I used to get more after midnight, and a bed in the spare toom. There must be a teen whose a little more ...ok with that...or whose parents are....after all, I bet their parents struggle to get them in bed by eleven when they aren't sitting.

I think you are right to be thinking about your future and romance. You are a young, healthy, warm woman...why wouldn't you want a man.

Thank you. The temptation is to sit here self-pityingly explaining why none of your suggestions will work, but I want to be more constructive than that, so...

Uncle 1 - Would be happy to have them, I think. Lives a couple of hours away. Not sure how I'd get them there, or how happy they'd be to go, but a possibility.

Uncle 2 - Has offered to have them for a weekend some time. They'd love to go. The only way I can think of to get them to Scotland would be to drive them to Birmingham and stick them on a plane that would look after unaccompanied minors. Too expensive to do often, but I have it in mind to do if late-nearly-ex's inquest ends up being in school holidays, or else some other time if it's in term time. So I'll wait to find out the date of the inquest before fixing it up.

Uncle 2 - Lives in Toulouse. Distance prohibitive.

You and foundinrates - Yes please, I'd like us all to go on getting to know you a bit better so that in due course this could become a possibility.

Godparents 1 - Would be happy to have them. Live an hour away, so logistically possible although not trivial. I really ought to fix this up some time.

Godparents 2 - Live in Fife. Don't think it would work.

Godparent 3a - Would be happy to have them. Lives in central London. Not sure if we could make the transport work.

Godparent 3b (split from 3a) - Too taken up with new partner to bother seeing us at all. New partner won't let him have his own kids overnight, let alone mine.

Godparents 4 - Live in Manchester area. Too far away for a brief visit, and they've got their hands full with their own kids (including some special needs issues) so I wouldn't want to land my kids on them for a longer visit.

Paternal grandparents - Didn't help with the kids when late-nearly-ex was alive, either before or after he left. Don't seem to want to now, but I could be wrong. I'll see if I can drop a suggestion into the conversation somewhere. Live 3 hours away, anyway, so not logisitically easy.

Late babysitter - I have got one of these, old enough to be happy to stay up past midnight, but young enough, and impoverished enough, to be paid so I don't feel bad about asking him. Am just about to text him about a couple of Fridays later this term when I want to go out with my mates from work. I like to be able to stay to the end of the evening, because as the only non-drinker, I'm useful for driving them all home.

Overnight babysitter - Hadn't thought of that before. One of my best local friends has recently become guardian to a teenager whose (single) mum died. I've just started using her as a sitter, but can't expect her to stay up too late. Once she's got to know the children a bit better, though, she might well be happy to stay over if I wanted to be out late, and she'd have backup, because her guardian would only be half a mile down the road if there was a crisis of any kind.

Summary - see if I can fix up a weekend with Godparents 1, also use new babysitter more often and talk to her guardian about the possibility of overnight.

Thank you. That really helped.

LydiaJ

michaels wrote: »

Off Topic I know but as we are on the discuss house prices board I was wondering how many of the nice people own their own house and indeed have bought it recently despite the threat of a price crash.

I'll go first, I bought my first house in 2001 and traded up in March last year.

It's more interesting if we have ages as well as dates.

I bought my first house in January this year (aged 41) and intend to stay here for the foreseeable future.

Wheezy_2

michaels wrote: »

Off Topic I know but as we are on the discuss house prices board I was wondering how many of the nice people own their own house and indeed have bought it recently despite the threat of a price crash.

I'll go first, I bought my first house in 2001 and traded up in March last year.

We bought in August '09
First home buy in the UK
Had property in Belgium, but as property prices are not as inflated there, that just provided us with a deposit.
When I told my mum how much we paid for our current place, she thought it was a mansion with a couple of acres of land...until she saw the place
Happy to have bought though. It's not big, just enough for us two and doggy, and it's a rather nice area.

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

It's more interesting if we have ages as well as dates.

I bought my first house in January this year (aged 41) and intend to stay here for the foreseeable future.

I don't know why, but I thought you would have bought with late-nearly-ex.

silvercar

We (and I totally acknowledge that it is easier to buy as part of a couple) bought our first home in 1986 at the age of 22. Traded up a few times, the last time in 2006.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

I don't know why, but I thought you would have bought with late-nearly-ex.

We rented while I supported him through a few years of voluntary/semi-voluntary work and 3 years of further training. Then we had a tied house with his job, and rented again when he lost the job.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

Thank you. The temptation is to sit here self-pityingly explaining why none of your suggestions will work, but I want to be more constructive than that, so...

Good plan, I like practical

Uncle 1 - Would be happy to have them, I think. Lives a couple of hours away. Not sure how I'd get them there, or how happy they'd be to go, but a possibility.

Good, male rolemodels are I think, more important than we like to think with so many absent dads doing their absent thing. Uncles and grandads (as well as male friends and step dads) are often better then the genetic natural role model IMO.

Uncle 1 might be happy to meet you half way...that's what I would suggest we did too.

Uncle 2 - Has offered to have them for a weekend some time. They'd love to go. The only way I can think of to get them to Scotland would be to drive them to Birmingham and stick them on a plane that would look after unaccompanied minors. Too expensive to do often, but I have it in mind to do if late-nearly-ex's inquest ends up being in school holidays, or else some other time if it's in term time. So I'll wait to find out the date of the inquest before fixing it up.

Yep, expensive, but they might love the experience. I used to. (thought for a while I might be an air hostess I loved flying alone so much)

Uncle 2 - Lives in Toulouse. Distance prohibitive.

For overnight yes, but is there a good flight route still to toulouse, because once they are cool with staying with relatives what a place for them to go on a four night break, especially when you have met someone Remember, cheap flights can be as cheap as the petrol and cheaper than the trains!

You and foundinrates - Yes please, I'd like us all to go on getting to know you a bit better so that in due course this could become a possibility.


Yes, we're coming to you to see the panels in action and the conservatory entrance hall and so I can show dh how lovely your town is and why I liked it so much there.
Godparents 1 - Would be happy to have them. Live an hour away, so logistically possible although not trivial. I really ought to fix this up some time.

Hurrah! Instant potential!

Godparents 2 - Live in Fife. Don't think it would work.

Oh well.....never mind, there are other options looking more favourable

Godparent 3a - Would be happy to have them. Lives in central London. Not sure if we could make the transport work.

Have you considered a coach, that god parents etc could meet at other end? worth looking in to...and could well be workable...and what opportunity for the kids with museums and activities Could be pricey but you coiuld buy god parent 3 a and the kids tickets to a show or something too.

Godparent 3b (split from 3a) - Too taken up with new partner to bother seeing us at all. New partner won't let him have his own kids overnight, let alone mine.

Well, not who your kids need in their lives then!

Godparents 4 - Live in Manchester area. Too far away for a brief visit, and they've got their hands full with their own kids (including some special needs issues) so I wouldn't want to land my kids on them for a longer visit.

Poor things.

Paternal grandparents - Didn't help with the kids when late-nearly-ex was alive, either before or after he left. Don't seem to want to now, but I could be wrong. I'll see if I can drop a suggestion into the conversation somewhere. Live 3 hours away, anyway, so not logisitically easy.

Attitude might have focused now. you never know. Would be nice for the children, but not if it will make them feel rejected.

Late babysitter - I have got one of these, old enough to be happy to stay up past midnight, but young enough, and impoverished enough, to be paid so I don't feel bad about asking him. Am just about to text him about a couple of Fridays later this term when I want to go out with my mates from work. I like to be able to stay to the end of the evening, because as the only non-drinker, I'm useful for driving them all home.
never mind driving people, you need to have fun too. He sounds like the key player to the whole ''lydia gets an adult life back'' ATM.

Overnight babysitter - Hadn't thought of that before. One of my best local friends has recently become guardian to a teenager whose (single) mum died. I've just started using her as a sitter, but can't expect her to stay up too late. Once she's got to know the children a bit better, though, she might well be happy to stay over if I wanted to be out late, and she'd have backup, because her guardian would only be half a mile down the road if there was a crisis of any kind.

Excellent. And nice for her to have the possibility of responsibilty with some support/.....so good all round.

Summary - see if I can fix up a weekend with Godparents 1, also use new babysitter more often and talk to her guardian about the possibility of overnight.

Thank you. That really helped.

Its sounding more hopeful. You have some good options and FIR and I in training....so...where are you going hunting?:D

edit: just spoke to dh about getting to know you guys in RL more to this end and he said...''yes, of course, I thought that was the plan''

sss555s

Bought my first and only house in 1990 (24) 2 bed detached bungalow, drive, garage.

Did a loft conversion around 5 years ago to 4 bed 3 bathroom which was the best thing i ever did and has transformed the house.

Mortgage paid off.