Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

tomterm8

lostinrates wrote: »

I know this is all very old fashioned, and rather defeatist, but its where I am atm.

Then you should get a move on. This is very controversial, at the moment, but unless you get your book published like that in the next five years... I don't think you ever will.

It's just economics. In the states, they've launched the first £50 kindle. Last week, as it happens. It won't be long until they are selling kindles for the price of a hardback...

And then, the economics will kick in, and there won't be print book industry in the US any more. Over the last 12 months, the average advance in US print has halved.

Davesnave

lostinrates wrote: »

I just had a crank call....recorded voice message saying ''this is Death, I'm coming to get you. Goodbye.'' I bet that could really upset some people.

On the one hand I would be heartened to think that Death had now sharpened up his act to include a proper appointments system and reminders, like those sent out by dentists, but rather upset to discover his client database included me. :eek:

Have you filled-in any on-line 'surveys' or spoken to 'researchers' recently?

lostinrates

Davesnave wrote: »

On the one hand I would be heartened to think that Death had now sharpened up his act to include a proper appointments system and reminders, like those sent out by dentists, but rather upset to discover his client database included me. :eek:

Have you filled-in any on-line 'surveys' or spoken to 'researchers' recently?

nope!

I think its wuite funny. But I have put some clean knickers on just in case, .

GDB2222

A very wise precaution

tomterm8

GDB2222 wrote: »

A very wise precaution

Knowing what I know, from sheep and chicken handling experience, it is unlikely to make much difference if death does call.

- gruesome facts you'd rather not know edition:D

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

LydiaJ, cherish them. I'm at the point where DS1 is back at uni with the occasional text message and that's it. DS2 is flapping his independence wings, ready for off.

Oh silvercar, I do cherish them. I know what I wrote would seem to imply that I wish I could be rid of them, but truly I don't. I want them with me, and I would resist tooth and nail if anyone tried to take them away from me.

I'd just like them to be able to go somewhere else occasionally - perhaps for a weekend every once in a while, or overnight or something. I'd like to be able to say "yes" to the possibility of an evening with other adults without feeling a massive stress about finding a babysitter, and in most cases needing to be home by 10:45 so the (teenage) babysitter isn't out too late. When I spend one-on-one time with one of them for an hour or two, I'd like there to be somebody else to give attention to the other one, so they weren't fed up and lonely and demanding by the time I'd finished investing in the first one.

I'd like to feel it's not always all down to me, by myself, just with the assistance of the friends I can blag favours off and then feel guilty about. It was different when they went to their dad every Tuesday night and every other weekend, and when my mum was still healthy enough to have them for me when I needed her to. I didn't feel the same kind of crushing sense of "obligation I can never repay" because they were my kids' family.

And finally, if truth be told, I'd like to feel there was some possibility of me finding a new bloke, but to be realistic it'll be a few years yet before I can practicably have enough kid-free time to fit a relationship into. It's 6 years since late-nearly-ex left, and it feels like a long time to be single.

Mostly I'm OK, but sometimes it gets me down, and then when I read Pastures and Sue writing about feeling isolated and desolate and defeated, I know what they mean, even though my responsibilities are much less than theirs.

GDB2222

tomterm8 wrote: »

Knowing what I know, from sheep and chicken handling experience, it is unlikely to make much difference if death does call.

- gruesome facts you'd rather not know edition:D

So, do you think they do it on purpose, to discourage you?

tomterm8

GDB2222 wrote: »

So, do you think they do it on purpose, to discourage you?

No, it is involuntary, it happens after they die.

lostinrates

Lydia, do they have uncles who have a family and might take them for fun childfriendly weekends? When we have heating or in the summer dh and I would love to borrow them overnight on a saturday so we have an excuse to go to child orientated things like Longlest safari...when they know me better and have met dh: I wouldn't presume to have them stay after one meeting!. . DH is more active than I. I think a young boy to run around with and climb trees etc with would be welcome. And I'm guessing they have Godparents who love them and would love to have them to stay a couple of times a year? Lukewise paternal GPs? As they get more robust with time a strong network not with you but that is based around you and them might also be beneficial for them. I hope you are not backwards in asking with this network....they might fear offending you/overstepping a boundary if they offer.

fwiw, as an ex babysitter...you need one who is prepared to stay later or stay overnight. I used to get more after midnight, and a bed in the spare toom. There must be a teen whose a little more ...ok with that...or whose parents are....after all, I bet their parents struggle to get them in bed by eleven when they aren't sitting.

I think you are right to be thinking about your future and romance. You are a young, healthy, warm woman...why wouldn't you want a man.

lostinrates

tomterm8 wrote: »

No, it is involuntary, it happens after they die.

It happens all the bloody time with them...why should they be any different in death.

shavings are a fortune here, I'm trying to find a sawmill with some thing I can use for the chickens, because its not funny. The chickens root up high so I don't really need to worry about fancy dust extracted stuff ATM.