Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

lostinrates

firstly PN, if old is as you say I would really rethink the type of housing you are looking for and consider a room in a nice, comfortable residential home. Its likely things will progress not get better and she sounds like she needs more than a flat with assistance. Old isn't making decisions and you find it hard...what about sibling? Can sibling make the decsion while they are zooming in to help?



Secondly, but more pressingly, YOU NEED TO MAKE TIME to see a GP. It is paramount. Take old and leave her in the waiting room if you are worried to leave her at home. I'd also recommend making time for a head clearing walk once a day. Even just ten minutes. Getting the blood pumping can really seriously helpboth emothionally and physically....it gives you space and it releases endorphins that will help you feel more robust.
It is possible you are depressed but do not ''have depression''. after all, you lost a parent, and gained huge responsibility, but you need someone to talk to properly, some one who can see you and is qualified to make an assessment. I know its not easy for you to ask for help, but I'm afraid I think you have to right now.

Davesnave

lostinrates wrote: »

firstly PN, if old is as you say I would really rethink the type of housing you are looking for and consider a room in a nice, comfortable residential home.

I agree with this, and with everything else lir said.

From experience, I know there comes a time when, although you may be able to give some choices within it , the main choice to find an old person a place that is safe, overrides everything else.

PasturesNew

I didn't sleep last night, feel like !!!!... but had to get up early as it's bin/recycling day so all that needed sorting out. Then I've been looking at the list of homes - no idea of prices, you have to contact each one individually to find out that. PoA meeting today, got to get the old dressed suitably for that (no gravy down their front) and I can't remember what paperwork I need to take with me.

misskool

Agree with the above. I don't really know how to say it but PN this is now too much for you

My car is broken again. Going with the old banger route I might as well have bought a nice car :rotfl:

Or I need to learn how to fix a car....

silvercar

PN, It's a difficult time, there is a lot going on and you are suffering a recent bereavement.

No harm in going to your GP and getting something to "tide you over".

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

I didn't sleep last night, feel like !!!!... but had to get up early as it's bin/recycling day so all that needed sorting out. Then I've been looking at the list of homes - no idea of prices, you have to contact each one individually to find out that. PoA meeting today, got to get the old dressed suitably for that (no gravy down their front) and I can't remember what paperwork I need to take with me.

You've too much on; the world won't collapse if all the. Rubbish goes in the main bin and you don't recycle for a couple of weeks. Prioritise and dump the rubbish (geddit?) stuff.

Paperwork is probably lots of ID - passports or birth certificates - and a utility bill or bank statement to prove address.

Davesnave

misskool wrote: »

My car is broken again. Going with the old banger route I might as well have bought a nice car :rotfl:

Or I need to learn how to fix a car....

Our 'old banger' has just passed 55k miles in our ownership with one minor, non-consumable repair.

However, I think it's going to cost some serious money to reach MoT standard later this week.....so may have to 'ditch & switch.'

The two tricks with old bangers are:

1.Know what's inherently reliable, and what isn't.
2. Know when to get rid.

As I have full history, I know our car had nothing done in its first 55k miles. This means everything, except consumables, is 110k miles old!

I think I just failed on 2 above.

lostinrates

I have a cold. I'm all dizzy and grouchy. This week is quit e abig week too. Planning meetings.

I'm trying to decide whether to take a ''day off'' now morning chores are done and catch up tomorrow in the hope of shaking the wretch today, or whether to work super hard today in case its worse tomorrow! House is sort of ok....kitchen needs a very thorough clean though and my bedroom...so nothing I couldn't do in a day really.

misskool

Davesnave wrote: »

Our 'old banger' has just passed 55k miles in our ownership with one minor, non-consumable repair.

However, I think it's going to cost some serious money to reach MoT standard later this week.....so may have to 'ditch & switch.'

The two tricks with old bangers are:

1.Know what's inherently reliable, and what isn't.
2. Know when to get rid.

As I have full history, I know our car had nothing done in its first 55k miles. This means everything, except consumables, is 110k miles old!

I think I just failed on 2 above.

you didn't thump your car into another while owning it. I think I may have increased ever so slightly the wear and tear bit of my car.

I will fix it for now (as think google tells me it's battery or alternator problem). Hopefully, it's a SIMPLE thing and only a blown fuse. Otherwise, me and Haynes manual are going to get comfy.



You going to spend money on your car this week?

tomterm8

I don't think you can tell if you are depressed. For a start, there are all kinds of physical problems which are invisible but end up showing up with many of the symptoms of depression.

It wouldn't be unusual to be very unhappy considering how much you are going through. Whether that has got to the point that you are depressed in a medical sense is impossible for an individual to know, because the very nature of depression is that it clouds your judgment. If you even think it is possible, you have to go to the doctor. Because, if a clinical depression progresses without treatment, there can come a point where it becomes impossible to do so - when the depression becomes life threatening.

Now, given how much you have to do, is it possible for you to hire a home help, just for the next few weeks? To take off some of the weight of looking after old? Does social services have a list of people?