Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

tomterm8

My mother works at a crem as the organist. She was pretty impressed by the humanist "ministers" she has seen. Mostly, funeral directors should be able to organist it without many problems.

fc123

silvercar wrote: »

I'm the exact opposite. A good few years ago I needed a minor gynae op and I tried to persuade the consultant to cut my tubes at the same time. He refused on the grounds that my youngest was only 5 so I could easily decide I wanted another. He was wrong.

Similar to OH when he asked for a vasectomy aged 31 (as we had had 2). They agreed in the end and accepted his reasons but he went through quite a question session.

fc123

tomterm8 wrote: »

My mother works at a crem as the organist. She was pretty impressed by the humanist "ministers" she has seen. Mostly, funeral directors should be able to organist it without many problems.

They also do a booklet that you can buy and select text from so no need for a minister to come down.

misskool

tomterm8 wrote: »

A hysterectomy seems like quite a extreme treatment (I know it is the traditional treatment, but even so). Has she asked for a second opinion?

Ish. No NHS where she is. So everything has to be paid for.

Also surgeon a bit old fashioned and sister is beyond "normal" age for marrying/children so he thought he was doing her a favor. I told her to tell him to go jump.

Anyways...it's hard when I'm not there. sorry, it's really strange that I can't just drop everything and get to my family when something happens..

tomterm8

fc123 wrote: »

They also do a booklet that you can buy and select text from so no need for a minister to come down.

That's true, and sometimes people do that (or roll their own funeral services). It can be good, but according to my Mum it often doesn't work out well.

Basically, in a funeral you are at your lowest ebb, and someone who is sympathetic but not emotionally involved can be useful for keeping it going without awkward moments when no one knows what is happening.

lostinrates

misskool wrote: »

Ish. No NHS where she is. So everything has to be paid for.

Also surgeon a bit old fashioned and sister is beyond "normal" age for marrying/children so he thought he was doing her a favor. I told her to tell him to go jump.

Anyways...it's hard when I'm not there. sorry, it's really strange that I can't just drop everything and get to my family when something happens..

Is there other choice of doctor? Could she afford to travel for treatment?

misskool

lostinrates wrote: »

Is there other choice of doctor? Could she afford to travel for treatment?

She wants to be near home and this one is covered "mostly" from her private healthcare insurance.


I know, I'm very uneasy about him but she just wants it over and done with now.

Wondering whether it's stupid to stay up most of the night to ring her for 5 minutes. Gah, sorry. Falling apart for no reason. It's a simple standard surgery. Everything will be fine.

GDB2222

My aunt died just after she was 100. Such a lovely lady!! She was pretty fit, actually, but she'd just decided that she did not want to go on. She needed regular blood transfusions, as her bone marrow had stopped working. Aged 99 and 9 months, she simply refused to go for her next transfusion. Then the district nurse persuaded her that she'd enjoy her 100th birthday, so she had the transfusion, and indeed had a whale of a time. A few months later, she fell ill with a bug and absolutely refused to be treated.

She had a humanist service, followed by a lovely meal at her favourite restaurant for her family and remaining friends (at which she was not present ofc, except in spirit). I'm trying, but failing, to think of a better way to go.

fc123

tomterm8 wrote: »

That's true, and sometimes people do that (or roll their own funeral services). It can be good, but according to my Mum it often doesn't work out well.

Basically, in a funeral you are at your lowest ebb, and someone who is sympathetic but not emotionally involved can be useful for keeping it going without awkward moments when no one knows what is happening.

I know what you mean........do they charge to come out or am I asking a dumb question? I have no idea if ministers are free or not ......can't believe I don't know the answer.

tomterm8

misskool wrote: »

Wondering whether it's stupid to stay up most of the night to ring her for 5 minutes.

Nah, I think that is very sensible and kind of you.