Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

LydiaJ

Pastures, I just have to say how different that last post is from so many that you've posted before about your olds. You sound so much more confident and in control - not of every detail, but of the broad sweep of things - and no longer being thrown about like a piece of driftwood in a storm. We're all so proud of you for how you've risen to this impossible challenge.

My hopes and prayers are for your ill old to have a peaceful and painless death, for your frail old to get some sensible care put in place as soon as possible afterwards, and for you to come out at the other end of the tunnel with your head held high, knowing you did amazingly under very difficult circumstances. Oh, and for you to end up living somewhere where you have the space and the autonomy to hammer things.

Davesnave

silvercar wrote: »

Inspected the garden today. While I've been away there have been some real downpours and some dry days. All the lobelia have flourished and the bizzy lizzies that were in between them have all lost their flowers and leaves and are just bare stems. Very bizarre. I put out slug repellent before I left. :puzzled:

Someone created this thread just for you:


https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3408373

John_Pierpoint

PasturesNew wrote: »

All traumatic stuff here, I returned to the old being no longer resident; kind of expecting that middle of the night call "come now ...." so things are in the air. 2 hours? 2 days? 2 weeks? can't tell.



Everything's gone: mental state, physical state... and the C's spread fast so the old struggles to breath at all, or speak.... can't move really either. Visiting daily but it's a 40 mile round trip of course

I've been through this twice in the last half a dozen years (Mother & Uncle)
Beware the "is he/she self funding ?" question. (Translation: The NHS does cures not care, so get him/her out of here).
But actually they do have funds to pay for hospice/nursing homes for a terminal month or two.

I don't want to sound brutal, but do you have the will etc. organised as I think you are going to need it within a couple of months - Lasting power of attorney, if you don't already have it, is probably too late.

Ask for a prognosis - I did not believe what I was told but it turned out to be pretty accurate.

This is £22.20 well spent for the set of three (you must have the up to date versions):
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Giving-Inheriting-Which-Essential-Guides/dp/1844901181

If you need a second opinion, just ask.

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't mind dentists, bizarrely I think its quite relaxing, but just so expensive.

My dentist has a non intervention policy and we had fun and games with a crown (last tooth rear bottom left) but the stump now seems to have hardened over so we don't bother to try any more..

Don't think I will be swapping my NHS dentist in the near future.

Must take my mouth and my credit card in for an overdue check up soon.

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

I understand a bit about different riding ways too (esp after you posted the clips on the extreme dressage which I can't recall the name of) and some people can be a bit defensive about trad ways of doing things if they feel critisised.

.

Hyperflexion/rollkur. Sometimes called LDR...low deep, round (a way to make it sound more acceptale, roundness is something riders aspire to, but not chin on chest! the nose should never fall behind a vertical line. where we want ''roundness'' is of the back, to best support a riders weight without damage to the horse....like a bridge, round is better than a u shape) Horrid, horrid practise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UwqyMCr_7c&feature=fvsr

(apologies for you tube clip with slightly unprofessional presentaion!)

The opposite of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig9sYDJ3w28&feature=related

While I have no desire ever to vault, Jean Francois Pignon's relationship with his horses is enviable. I'm satisfied to acheive a fraction of it with one horse at a time....or leading one and riding one.

A long time ago I rode polo ponies a lot and being me was as interested in exercise as the game. One groom will exercise the team, ride and lead. I've done something that looks to an amateur a LITTLE like the control of the same number of horses, but nothing like with as much sensitivity, tact and ''connection''.

I love dressage, but the ''vibe'' in the second clip is definitely why I spend time with horses, what I want when I ride. and why it doesn't matter that I can't ride anymore really. Its the only reason really TO do it IMO.

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

Pastures, I just have to say how different that last post is from so many that you've posted before about your olds. You sound so much more confident and in control - not of every detail, but of the broad sweep of things - and no longer being thrown about like a piece of driftwood in a storm. We're all so proud of you for how you've risen to this impossible challenge.

My hopes and prayers are for your ill old to have a peaceful and painless death, for your frail old to get some sensible care put in place as soon as possible afterwards, and for you to come out at the other end of the tunnel with your head held high, knowing you did amazingly under very difficult circumstances. Oh, and for you to end up living somewhere where you have the space and the autonomy to hammer things.

+1

Does the well old realise that the old ill is so ill?

lemonjelly

Hey everyone!

welcome back silvercar.

Nikkster is getting braver - dipping a toe into the water.

Like NDG, it is rare I eat breakfast. If I do, it has to be a cooked breakfast, & usually only happens when I'm off work. I strangely tend to have lunch & tea/dinner (;) someone will start debating this...) quite late.

Yesterday is a poor example, didn't eat all day (went shopping am for a birthday pressie for someone, then food shopping, then spent all afternoon in the garden). Didn't eat til about 6ish - chicken & bacon wraps, with homegrown lettuce, & shop bought toms, with a bit o' cheese & mayo on.

A staggeringly large amount of tea - I love my tea, & have a collection of oversize cups.

Repotted my peppers yesterday - finally noticed that they have flower buds on them!:j Seems a little late in the year though, so don't know how long it'll take or whether I'll be successful getting any fruit.

I am relieved to say my tom plants still haven't died (yet). I am cautiously hopeful that the blight has missed me this year (so far at least) & pray I'll get some crops!

Peas have given up the ghost, so I've pulled them up. I'll have another go next year.

Carrots in tubs are doing ok (I think). Spring onions have also kicked on the past week & are due for harvesting.

Misskool my beetroot are also ready for harvest. I'll be pickling mine for christmas, but everyone I know is telling me to roast them saying it is delish.

I also need to start picking beans this week, as the bean plants are now going for it!

I also planted a fresh batch of lettuce.

Been doing more reading (will post an update in a week or 2, when I get around to tidying my pile of books:o)

Had a bowls match saturday, & at the side of the green the LL of the pub was growing HUUUUUGE onions! They were almost as big as a football. Made me feel quite inadequate about mine...:o

lemonjelly

Just finished lunch (told you I was a late eater - no brekkie this am either). Cheese salad sarnies (with salad cream Mmmm!) plus a packet of McCoys (the don of crisps, Pickled onion monster munch aside) and 2 (3:o) chocolate bars (breakaways).

Will spend all afternoon drinking squash, will then walk home, tootle off to a bowls match, & then eat again when I get home. No idea what though!

silvercar

I always come back from holidays having lost weight. We eat properly and certainly have more for breakfast than I would at home. But there is no snacking and we walk a lot, not proper walks but just walking into towns and villages and generally walking between things. So either a bit of exercise goes a long way or those snacks that are constantly available at home add up.

fc123

PasturesNew wrote: »

I think they're not leaving... it's too big a job all round for two of us, so we've an important update to get through and I think they're sticking around....


It's absolutely out of the question and we'll do everything in our power to disallow this. Even if we have to present ourselves as dangerous/incompetent fools ... which, for the needs/purpose would pretty much be true. The whole thing's much bigger than I've discussed here, but coming home cannot be allowed. It wouldn't be in the best interests of the old at all..... most unsatisfactory.


I'll ask that tomorrow



Cheers

Good to read the above....seconding Lydiaj's post that you appear to be so much more 'in charge' of a very difficult and emotionally upsetting situation.

Good news about sibling sticking around too....the 3rd would help things too if you can rope them in as you 3 are all in it together.

PasturesNew wrote: »

No, this thing is morphing faster than any services can keep up .... initial contact was made last week, but there wasn't even time for one service to be performed on either of them before one was whisked away and everything's on hold/cancelled as we're too busy/visiting/etc to be able to sit around all day waiting for people/things to turn up.

There's more, but it's not for here... and once my head's straight, I need to PM viva specifically as her direct intervention directly lead to the old being whisked .... if that hadn't happened it'd have been very traumatic while I was away and the old would have probably passed on due to the trauma of not being in the system, but relying on random emergency midnight callouts and A&E trolleys as nobody knew what to do with the old.

Everything that's gone on is because nobody sat on Day 1 and did the right thing..... support/services/everything never caught up (still hasn't), but that one viva moment lead directly to a chain of events that meant finally the old was in the right place, getting the right attention ... allbeit about 2-3 months too late as everybody was busy doing their job and ticking boxes .... and nobody was actually doing what was needed.

but

It's a long story .... way too big for here. And I've still no idea what to expect. And everybody keeps asking/assuming "do you have care ..." and I say "No, well, maybe, but we've not had a thing yet ...." but it's coming.... just as soon as we stop fire-fighting we can get back to the well old's needs being dealt with (carer cancelled because we need the well old to be with the ill old and not sitting around for irrelevant stuff like being washed .... and fed)

It's going to be what is PN so you can't beat yourseldf up with 'what if ?'. Well old being with ill old is probably the most important thing right now to try to accomodate. The next stage will be a whole new set of problems I think...but we are here to find the route if that helps.

lostinrates wrote: »

Hyperflexion/rollkur. Sometimes called LDR...low deep, round (a way to make it sound more acceptale, roundness is something riders aspire to, but not chin on chest! the nose should never fall behind a vertical line. where we want ''roundness'' is of the back, to best support a riders weight without damage to the horse....like a bridge, round is better than a u shape) Horrid, horrid practise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UwqyMCr_7c&feature=fvsr

(apologies for you tube clip with slightly unprofessional presentaion!)

The opposite of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig9sYDJ3w28&feature=related

While I have no desire ever to vault, Jean Francois Pignon's relationship with his horses is enviable. I'm satisfied to acheive a fraction of it with one horse at a time....or leading one and riding one.

A long time ago I rode polo ponies a lot and being me was as interested in exercise as the game. One groom will exercise the team, ride and lead. I've done something that looks to an amateur a LITTLE like the control of the same number of horses, but nothing like with as much sensitivity, tact and ''connection''.

I love dressage, but the ''vibe'' in the second clip is definitely why I spend time with horses, what I want when I ride. and why it doesn't matter that I can't ride anymore really. Its the only reason really TO do it IMO.

I learnt another new thing today...cheers.:)
Sorry to read you can't ride anymore though. Makes me a bit sad.:(

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

Sorry to read you can't ride anymore though. Makes me a bit sad.:(

Don't be sad. I love being with them, I can still do some stuff. We've decided to retire special girl this year anyway....time means dh never gets up either.

Who knows what'll happen. I'm keeping one eye half open still, for a girl or two with very specific parametres (partly because they come up so rarely I'm unlikely to find one and cause a financial dilemma any time soon!). I can work from the ground with them, maybe have them professionally ridden if that appeals, or breed lovely baby horses who get a fair start in life. I never say never, when we're a bit more comfortable here I can maybe refocus back to me and spend some time training with someone a few times a year, which would help. Inconsistancy really is no good for things, and I don't want to develop poor muscle memory struggling on now. I sometimes sit on one of the horses here, but its not ''riding'' as such, not the sort that benefits me, I just work with him a bit to play and clarify some things to him, because he loves to play that game and his owner isn't bothered (he's a paying guest). Special girl doesn't mind us having a random sit, like the guy above, tackless and tactful. Nothing to be sad about...not yet.



No news from PN today