Yet more financial faux pas and many other disasterous decisions

chevalier · 1 August 2011 at 10:32PM

maybe in that case he can sleep in the shed with the landy......

RosaBernicia · 1 August 2011 at 11:05PM

oh Moo - 'nother ((hug))

I've been lurking on and off - Lula said it all :T

Rosa xx

moo2moo · 2 August 2011 at 1:44AM

Found OH a fab rental. in a V. sensibly priced house share, a bit too sensibly in fact, humungous house in 1/2 an acre with sauna, jaccuzi, several lounges with and without 82" projection screen, all inclusive and a mere 2 miles from work. He wasn't impressed. Am thinking this could be considerably harder than I was lulled into thinking. The arguing has pretty much stopped. Hes on his best behaviour. My head is all over the place. Can't help but feel I'm back to square one. Want to bang my head against a wall and yell stupid stupid stupid bimbo but that won't get me anywhere either. Humph.

moo2moo · 2 August 2011 at 1:51AM

Spent yesterday v. selfishly doing things for me. Gardened in the rain. Veg patch is now clear of spuds and ready for beans. Reboiled the overly runny pink grapefruit maramalade to thicken it, read a few chapters of a book and then scoffed far too much mississippi mud pie whilst watching a film. Have arranged to meet my parents for lunch mid way between me and them to collect the DDs. DD1 isn't feeling too great and threw up all over my aunt post picnic having spent the morning riding her three day eventer. Granny is convinced its something she ate whilst I think its too much excitement. Will be most glad when I get them both home.

Triciaxx · 2 August 2011 at 9:17AM

I expect you've thought of this and it has been covered on here already but . . . Do you have a separate bank account? OHs have been known to empty the joint account without warning. Not saying he would, but I didn't believe my ex would either. Similarly spending on CCs.

Sorry, to voice such a suspicion but I know I'm not the only one it has happened to.

Lula-Hula · 2 August 2011 at 9:24AM

Moo,

No, No, No.

Of course the arguing has stopped; you blew your top at him, so he's retreated into penitent schoolboy mode so that you forgive him & then when you're not angry anymore he will carry on as normal.

You continue in the same controlled circular life until his bad alcohol related behaviour gets on top of you again.

This relationship is all about control, and I'm sorry to point it out, but you don't have it.

Have you ever read back through any of your previous posts about his drinking & how it makes you feel ? This is about 3 years of your life that you've been sharing with poeple on here, how long was it going on for before that ?

Don't be a victim, if not for you, then at least do it for your girls. They deserve to have far better relationships than the one you are presenting to them as a model.

I would be so angry & upset if one of my DDs was in a relationship such as yours. Is your step mother's life with your Dad like yours ?

It must be very hard & lonely not having your own mum around to confide in & seek advice from, but that doesn't mean you have to be unhappy.

In the past you have mentioned how you were offered counselling when she first passed on & you were probably far too young to gain anything from it then. Maybe now is a good time in your life to explore with a totally non-judgemental person, where you are at personally in your life & how you want it to progress.

Short bursts of enjoyment & what you term 'selfish enjoyment/ behaviour' may just about make the rest of it bearable, but it's not really happiness is it ?

Again, just my thoughts & not meant to be offensive or cruel, I'm just trying to offer some alternative views of your situation.

Best wishes as always
xx

Mags_cat · 2 August 2011 at 9:26AM

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Moo,

No, No, No.

Of course the arguing has stopped; you blew your top at him, so he's retreated into penitent schoolboy mode so that you forgive him & then when you're not angry anymore he will carry on as normal.

Best wishes as always
xx

Exactly.

Exactly that.

pennywisepoundstupid · 2 August 2011 at 9:50AM

Can't really add any more than what Lula has said.

What i will say is that he NEEDS to move out, i know this is easier said than done, but whilst he is there you can't think straight or see how you and the girls will be without him, which will be happier and more carefree because your not tip toeing around him, YES it will hard at first juggling things, but moo how much of this do you do anyway?

Hope i havn't been too harsh, sending hugs.