Sex with a new partner... turning on the pressure...

PasturesNew

You mean you dated them before you found out if they were any good in bed?
What a waste of time...

:P

burnoutbabe

i'd find it unreasonable if a chap made me wait 3 months, i'd assume he had something to hide.

QuantumSuccess

shellsuit wrote: »

Just read your other thread and don't understand why you're asking whether it's unreasonable to wait 3 months to sleep with someone, when you've only been seeing the guy for 5 weeks, and he makes your skin crawl. Where does 3 months come into it?

confused.com

3 months is the rough amount of time I'd want to spend getting to know someone before sex. When I mentioned that to this guy he burst out laughing and asked me what century I think I'm living in.

shellsuit

QuantumSuccess wrote: »

3 months is the rough amount of time I'd want to spend getting to know someone before sex. When I mentioned that to this guy he burst out laughing and asked me what century I think I'm living in.

Then why waste anymore time on the guy?

Tell him that's it and move on...

Gavin83

I'll be honest here. I very much doubt I'd be prepared to wait 3 months for sex in a new relationship. I wouldn't put pressure on her to do it as I'd actually want her to want it but I'd be looking to end it if nothing had happened after 6 weeks or so. I have a fairly high sex drive and if a girl is waiting that long it suggests to me she has a fairly low sex drive, doesn't trust me or something is going on, either way I couldn't be in a relationship like that. I'd need someone who matched my personality, my ambitions in life and had a similar outlook generally, otherwise I just don't feel it would work out.

However everyone is different and I don't see a problem with people waiting longer, even until marriage if it works for them. If he is abusing though I'd suggest getting out now while it's still young.

scooby088

Three months isn't a great amount to wait, but if he makes your skin crawl then why are you with him, trust me i am in a relationship and dont have sex so sex isn't the be all. But speaking as someone who likes sex it is frustrating not to be getting it.

Pee

I have not read your other thread.

In previous relationships I have been out with people for six months without having sex with them. When I got together with my boyfriend it was the first night, but we had been friends for a while so I did know a bit about him, wasn't putting myself in danger for example.

I would say on reflection that if I was to start dating again I probably would chose to get to know someone before I had sex with them, but if I didn't feel that I wanted to by the third date I would give up and move on. Depending on how much time we spent together, I would expect to feel ready in about 3 - 5 weeks, but if I felt pressured, I don't think I would ever feel ready.

RadoJo

I don't think there is an ideal time as such, except that both partners should have similar expectations. If someone doesn't want to wait, then it suggests that they might not be the right one for you anyway, just as much as you wanting to wait might mean you aren't the right person for them. So long as you're both on the same wavelength, then whatever length of time feels right IS right.

(There will NEVER be a right time with that guy from the other thread though - I think we've all made our feelings about that clear! )

dark_lady

QuantumSuccess wrote: »

3 months is the rough amount of time I'd want to spend getting to know someone before sex. When I mentioned that to this guy he burst out laughing and asked me what century I think I'm living in.

he asked you what century you are living in? Hmm if it had been me i would have said "the same one that you are going by what youve said about women!!

Sounds like this guy twists things and rewrites history to suit his own needs as well as being potentially VERY abusive.
Hes already being psychologically abusive to you by twisting his words.

make_me_wise

QuantumSuccess wrote: »

When you meet a man and start dating is it considered unreasonable to wait 3 months or so before having sex with them?

I dont think it is unreasonable at all. Sex isn't enjoyable if either party feels pressurised into it before they are ready. Having read the other thread it sounds like he is just after a shag buddy. Once he gets his leg over he'll be off. Steer well clear is my advice.