Sex with a new partner... turning on the pressure...

emsywoo123

bargainbetty wrote: »

Absolutely true! I tend to get the first time out of the way on the third or fourth date, because I do want to know if the man is compatible sexually, and sometimes before I am too invested emotionally. It sounds harsh, but I don't want to find out I've fallen in love with a bloke who thinks a quick fumble, two pumps and a groan is enough to rock my world. This has saved me much heartache (and provided some funny anecdotes to my friends).

I will say that in one case it was so obvious we weren't going to be compatible that I stopped before the 'main event' happened and went home!

Hilarious. This post really amused me! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Errata

bargainbetty wrote: »

Absolutely true! I tend to get the first time out of the way on the third or fourth date, because I do want to know if the man is compatible sexually, and sometimes before I am too invested emotionally. It sounds harsh, but I don't want to find out I've fallen in love with a bloke who thinks a quick fumble, two pumps and a groan is enough to rock my world. This has saved me much heartache (and provided some funny anecdotes to my friends).

I will say that in one case it was so obvious we weren't going to be compatible that I stopped before the 'main event' happened and went home!

There speaks the voice of experience. Actually it sounds like a great many experiences

poet123

Seems like a good bargain!!:rotfl:;)

Fire_Fox

smartpicture wrote: »

Well from my dating experiences and numerous discussions with other single ladies I would say that nowadays, most men expect to sleep with you on the third date. That's not to say that you have to, or they wouldn't be willing to wait, but that seems to be the rule that everyone goes by nowadays, unless there's a particularly good reason for waiting. And if it went on too much longer, most men would probably move on to the next one because there are so many women nowadays who are willing to do it on the third date (or before). Not saying I agree with it, and of course there are always exceptions, but I think lots of the ladies on here suggesting waiting for months would get a bit of a shock if they had to start dating again today.

What counts as a particularly good reason?

savingmummy

bargainbetty wrote: »

Absolutely true! I tend to get the first time out of the way on the third or fourth date, because I do want to know if the man is compatible sexually, and sometimes before I am too invested emotionally. It sounds harsh, but I don't want to find out I've fallen in love with a bloke who thinks a quick fumble, two pumps and a groan is enough to rock my world. This has saved me much heartache (and provided some funny anecdotes to my friends).

I will say that in one case it was so obvious we weren't going to be compatible that I stopped before the 'main event' happened and went home!

:rotfl:Best reply ever!! Have to agree on this though!!

RadoJo

I love the idea that men all just want sex and women either 'let them' or don't! As for the idea that women who 'do' need higher self esteem - what if they are just as (or more) up for it than the man?
As much as men are often portrayed as having high sex drives, there are plenty out there who would prefer to find someone that they enjoy spending time with, just the same as women.

Percy1983

As a bloke I would be wondering what was going on after 3 months, depending on time spent together I would probably make a subtle move after a month if nothing had happened but would read signs very carefully.

With that with my fiancee it was 2.5 weeks as we where just so attracted to each other (rather early in both a terms), but with that its 5 years later and we still can't keep our hands off each other, we may even break the rules and carry on after we are married!

Nottoobadyet

I'll be honest - as a woman, I would be completely unwilling to wait 3 months. If I were willing to keep my clothes on for that long, something would clearly be missing from the chemistry!

Kimberley82

I hate this idea of women are having sex to either please a man or with hold from a man, whta about women just wanting a !!!!?

marywooyeah

QuantumSuccess wrote: »

That's the impression I'm getting as well. But the thing is (for me) going on a 3rd date with somebody doesn't mean I'm particularly close to them yet or know them very well. It just means I've been to dinner or the cinema with them 3 times. For me that's too soon to be getting naked with them and having sex. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. Plus if I was shagging every guy I went on two or three dates with I'd be spending half the year on my back surely?! God help me in this dating game. :eek::eek:

well if you're getting that many dates I'd use that as a reason to stop seeing this guy - tell him you can fit him in in 3 or 4 months, which should be ideal seeing as thats the only time he'll speak to you unless you become his girlfriend! hope you're doing ok x