Friendship Advice

Snatchy810

Love storys like this.. answer is simple... He likes you, If you like him talk to him tell him what you have just all of us, then everything will be hunky dory. Good luck

make_me_wise

bleh wrote: »

He makes it hard not getting into a banter with him. When we all go for lunch, he sits there arguing with me, when we are in the office, he's sat there arguing with me. When I ignore him, I'm made out to be the bad person who can't take jokes. I am honestly in a no win situation! We hardly go out after work anymore anyway. I've made excuses up. I think he knows deep down that we'll never be, as I openly admit in front of him if I took a liking to someone or someones took a liking to me etc...to which his response is, who would go out with you?!....

I assure you, I don't like him. If he was nicer to me and acted like a proper man, maybe but why like someone who treats me this way.

It may come across that I like him but it's just me being a soft person. I couldn't be a horrible person. It's just not in my nature. I just find his horribleness pathetic now. People are starting to pick up on it but laugh it off.

As another perspective I get the feeling this guy is struggling with his sexuality. He may be trying to fight how he really feels and is trying in an extremely immature way to converse with you. But it backfires and he ends up coming across as rude and insensitive because he really has no idea how to be around a woman!

Tropez

bleh wrote: »

Everyone gets on with him and like him. I'll be hated.

But the law is very specific in that everybody has the right to work without fear of harrassment or bullying by colleagues, customers and managers.

Why should you be made to feel miserable because of this person? The only reason he is harrassing you like this is because he fancies you and therefore he is borderline sexually harrassing you. What would you tell a friend who was being harrassed in such a manner at work?

You are fully, legally entitled to talk to someone in the office - a manager or similar position - and make your feelings of discomfort known to them without making an official complaint and every employer has a legal obligation to ensure that the work environment is a safe environment.

SavingPennies_2

bleh wrote: »

He makes it hard not getting into a banter with him. When we all go for lunch, he sits there arguing with me, when we are in the office, he's sat there arguing with me. When I ignore him, I'm made out to be the bad person who can't take jokes. I am honestly in a no win situation! We hardly go out after work anymore anyway. I've made excuses up. I think he knows deep down that we'll never be, as I openly admit in front of him if I took a liking to someone or someones took a liking to me etc...to which his response is, who would go out with you?!....

I assure you, I don't like him. If he was nicer to me and acted like a proper man, maybe but why like someone who treats me this way.

It may come across that I like him but it's just me being a soft person. I couldn't be a horrible person. It's just not in my nature. I just find his horribleness pathetic now. People are starting to pick up on it but laugh it off.

Okay I dont know then, its tricky, just hope he finds someone else he likes! I dont think getting another job is the answer, you shouldnt have to do that. Maybe take lunch on your own or with some other people so he gets the hint, and if he speaks to you in the office make out you are really into your work and cant talk!

Emmzi

options

a: totally ignore him
b: ask for support from manager
c: get a new job

a) is easier than c).

Now pick an option and get on with it and stop whinging :-)

Good luck!

bleh

make_me_wise wrote: »

As another perspective I get the feeling this guy is struggling with his sexuality. He may be trying to fight how he really feels and is trying in an extremely immature way to converse with you. But it backfires and he ends up coming across as rude and insensitive because he really has no idea how to be around a woman!

He always goes on about how many women hes been with...don't know if its true.

bleh

Tropez wrote: »

But the law is very specific in that everybody has the right to work without fear of harrassment or bullying by colleagues, customers and managers.

Why should you be made to feel miserable because of this person? The only reason he is harrassing you like this is because he fancies you and therefore he is borderline sexually harrassing you. What would you tell a friend who was being harrassed in such a manner at work?

You are fully, legally entitled to talk to someone in the office - a manager or similar position - and make your feelings of discomfort known to them without making an official complaint and every employer has a legal obligation to ensure that the work environment is a safe environment.

I know what you mean. BUT it is very hard for me. He started work long before i did. I hang out in his circle of friends. Everyone gets on with him at work. We are all a close-knit team. If i did complain, i could imagine i'd be hated and the tension in the air would have been caused by me and i know everyone won't like that. I have every right to complain but i rather put up with this unfortunately than put up with everyone hating me and being scared to joke with me, in case they think i complain about them too.

bleh

Emmzi wrote: »

options

a: totally ignore him
b: ask for support from manager
c: get a new job

a) is easier than c).

Now pick an option and get on with it and stop whinging :-)

Good luck!

Ignoring seems the best option.

I feel like i'm starting to seem petty and being insensitive and just put up with it.