Friendship Advice

Tish_P

Looks like a textbook example of the NiceGuy(tm) who is an entirely different phenomenon from an actual nice guy. He fancies you, but instead of gathering the courage to say so, he's hanging around hoping that eventually in a moment of weakness, drunkenness or unhappiness you'll get together with him. He's now getting angry that it isn't working. Let me guess, does he kerp complaining to you that women never go for Nice Guys like him?

You have two options: if you like him back, ask him out yourself (more women should do this IMO, it's not fair that blokes get all the fear). If you don't, break off the friendship - it never really was one anyway - be pleasant and professional at work, make no contact outside work, and tolerate the inevitable epic sulk.

SavingPennies_2

He likes you.

I think you have two options:

If you like him....Get on with it and just ask him out, get together, live happily ever after.

If you don't like him....Distance yourself from him as your behaviour could be interpreted by him as flirting, when he eventually realises its not going to happen he will feel hurt and angry if you keep up your friendship as the way it is.

NiallB

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'd say he has a crush on you.

And this is the modern equivalent of tugging on your pigtails or putting worms in your bookbag.

Ah, life was so much less complicated when we were 10

bleh

Haha the responses here made me smile

But I honestly I never thought he fancied me or it was his way of showing he fancies me. There was a period I thought he hated me for some reason. How can anyone be so cruel and hurt the person they fancy? Plus it's easy for him to compliment others but never ever compliments me, not that I want any but so frustrating that he can be nice to others. Plus he's 26, I think he should have grown a pair by now.

If he wasn't so horrible, I'd probably would have consider going out with him because when hes sweet, hes really sweet but I couldn't deal with him treating me this way if we were a couple.

Sambucus_Nigra

Bleh - it's basic 'boy likes girl' behaviour...honestly.

bleh

SavingPennies wrote: »

He likes you.

I think you have two options:

If you like him....Get on with it and just ask him out, get together, live happily ever after.

If you don't like him....Distance yourself from him as your behaviour could be interpreted by him as flirting, when he eventually realises its not going to happen he will feel hurt and angry if you keep up your friendship as the way it is.

Tried to distance myself. Doesn't work, he's goes quiet and I feel bad. Plus our jobs don't allow me to be distant from him. I don't want to make it awkward for everyone else and i know I'd be the who'd look like the bad person who can't take jokes. A no win situation for me . It's hard to find jobs these days so trying to find another job, it's a slim option too.

I hate men sometimes (no offense to the nice men)

SavingPennies_2

bleh wrote: »

Tried to distance myself. Doesn't work, he's goes quiet and I feel bad.

Of course he goes quiet, he knows you will feel bad, hes attention seeking. If you dont like him that way this can only end badly when he finally gets the message, hence the need to seperate yourself from him as best you can. I can see its a problem working together though, id say stay civil and friendly but dont get drawn into any banter when he teases you or go out together after work it isnt fair on him (or you).

Edit: Easier said than done of course...are you SURE you don't like him...?

bleh

SavingPennies wrote: »

Of course he goes quiet, he knows you will feel bad, hes attention seeking. If you dont like him that way this can only end badly when he finally gets the message, hence the need to seperate yourself from him as best you can. I can see its a problem working together though, id say stay civil and friendly but dont get drawn into any banter when he teases you or go out together after work it isnt fair on him (or you).

Edit: Easier said than done of course...are you SURE you don't like him...?

He makes it hard not getting into a banter with him. When we all go for lunch, he sits there arguing with me, when we are in the office, he's sat there arguing with me. When I ignore him, I'm made out to be the bad person who can't take jokes. I am honestly in a no win situation! We hardly go out after work anymore anyway. I've made excuses up. I think he knows deep down that we'll never be, as I openly admit in front of him if I took a liking to someone or someones took a liking to me etc...to which his response is, who would go out with you?!....

I assure you, I don't like him. If he was nicer to me and acted like a proper man, maybe but why like someone who treats me this way.

It may come across that I like him but it's just me being a soft person. I couldn't be a horrible person. It's just not in my nature. I just find his horribleness pathetic now. People are starting to pick up on it but laugh it off.

Tropez

bleh wrote: »

He makes it hard not getting into a banter with him. When we all go for lunch, he sits there arguing with me, when we are in the office, he's sat there arguing with me. When I ignore him, I'm made out to be the bad person who can't take jokes. I am honestly in a no win situation! We hardly go out after work anymore anyway. I've made excuses up. I think he knows deep down that we'll never be, as I openly admit in front of him if I took a liking to someone or someones took a liking to me etc...to which his response is, who would go out with you?!....

I assure you, I don't like him. If he was nicer to me and acted like a proper man, maybe but why like someone who treats me this way.

It may come across that I like him but it's just me being a soft person. I couldn't be a horrible person. It's just not in my nature. I just find his horribleness pathetic now. People are starting to pick up on it but laugh it off.

Perhaps you should make a formal complaint to your office manager?

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=797

bleh

Tropez wrote: »

Perhaps you should make a formal complaint to your office manager?

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=797

Everyone gets on with him and like him. I'll be hated.