Real Life MMD: What should I do about the bridemaid's weight?

nancypearl

Lexis200 wrote: »

I love the cut and dried way people harp on about how easy it is to lose weight. Ask any hardened smoker how hard it is to give up, or an alcoholic. At least they have the option of just cutting out their addition completely. People with food issues have to deal with an addiction that is just as ingrained, but they are forced to face their problem all day every day.

Thankyou! At last. Someone talking sense!

There have been some seriously harsh, nasty, thoughtless and inconsiderate comments so far by people who I thought would have been much more supportive. No-one knows what it like to be fat unless they have ever been fat.

If the dress doesn't fit then a good seamstress will be able to modify the dress, using coordinating fabric.

Surely the bride picked the bridesmaids because they love them as people, not because of the way they look.

nancypearl

carolineb23 wrote: »

I had a similar situation to this with my wedding, except the dress fit in March, by July it wouldn't zip up. The wedding was in August. I was not impressed as there wasn't a bigger size I could swap it for for her, and I couldn't find a different dress that matched the others. Luckily she dieted for a while and borrowed an all in one corset type thing which meant the dress could be zipped up. There was no reason she had put on any weight, illness, pregnancy etc, she had just massively over-eaten. I was really upset actually, I don't think she had much responsibility for the wedding apart from making sure she still fit into her dress and she didn't even seem to be able to do that.
My advice to the op would be to get the dresses tried on asap, and try good underwear and a healthy diet for a few weeks!

What a great friend to put herself through all that hard work so SHE could look how YOU wanted her to look on YOUR big day.
On her wedding day, if she said that she wanted you to put on two stones so you could fit into a dress she wanted you to wear, would you do it for her?

nancypearl

no_control wrote: »

I have struggled with eating disorders and my weight all my life and some of the horrible, unkind replies on this thread have upset me so much tonight.

I'm right with you hun. Some people have no clue whatsoever that their throwaway comments really can hurt.
:A

nancypearl

You can tell that this thread has really got me goat!!

What I wanted to say was there are some people who want to GET married rather then BE married.

In 5, 10, 20, 30 years time, if the bride is still friendly with the bridesmaid, lets see if this thing about the dress really mattered at all.

WhyIsSavingSoHard

no_control wrote: »

Your nice PM meant a lot to me.

I didn't write the horrible reply above - my user name is no_control. If you check again you will see that this unkind comment was written by no_choice_now - another forum member.

How could you think I could post that after what I wrote?

I am so so sorry. Have no excuses just to say that I need to read things closer before posting. There are too many two-faced people out there and by misreading the user name, I assumed you were one of them. I am a nice person really and am pleased that you liked the PM.

Hanging head in shame at not reading things right and putting what I did.

UnlikelyButTrue

if it's any consolation, i am bridesmaid at my friend's 'budget wedding' and she has picked dresses / petticoats / shoes / accesories for her 4 bridesmaids, and then sent us the internet link so we have to buy all of it ourselves... over £100's worth and it's not something i would ever wear again....

i'm pleased she's getting married but i don't think it's right for us to pay for it all ourselves...

sorry, rant over!

WhyIsSavingSoHard

it's British customary for the bride to pay for the dresses and such, but in today's climate that's not always possible. the least she could have done in my opinion was to discuss this with you all when she asked you to be a bridesmaid so that you knew before you said yes.

no_control

WhyIsSavingSoHard wrote: »

I am so so sorry. Have no excuses just to say that I need to read things closer before posting. There are too many two-faced people out there and by misreading the user name, I assumed you were one of them. I am a nice person really and am pleased that you liked the PM.

Hanging head in shame at not reading things right and putting what I did.

Don't worry, it was a misunderstanding. I'm just glad you know that I didn't write such a vile comment.

Thank you again for your lovely PM and support, it means a lot to me.

WhyIsSavingSoHard

I'm glad we're ok now

jonesjw

Don't worry about it.
If she doesn't fit the dress, she's sacked and you just have one less bridesmaid.