Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

AnW'sMum

pania wrote: »

I do so hope that you still have the love and support of the extended police family that comes as a part of the job.

Unfortunately there has been practically no support from Ian's force since he died. It's as though he never existed within the job Our family and friends however have always been here for us and will continue to be. A situation like this certainly sorts the wheat from the chaff.

Stormybay

Hello Everyone, it's fantastic isn't it that we all survived valentines day. Unfortunately my favorite Uncle passed away suddenly last week and I went to his funeral on Friday. He was Welsh, like me, but had lived in Stalybridge since after his national service. He was a methodist minister and on the committee of the Stalybridge FC, so it was a huge funeral. But...........it was also quite nice in an odd way, as the vicar did some of the service in Welsh with a Welsh hymn, and I caught up with family I've not seen for ages. We had a lovely time talking about my Mum and Dad (Mum's brother that had died), as well as John. so although it was a sad affair, it was good to talk.
I was quite emotional afterwards and went to the cemetery to make sure Mum, Dad, Nain, Tiad and John were all ok. I took flowers and it was a beautiful sunny day, it was very very peaceful.
I can relate to all of the above posts with keeping things. To be honest, about 2 weeks after John died, I was so angry with him for leaving us, I threw loads of stuff away, but, not everything. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I must have thought not to throw anything important or sentimental away.
On valentines day in work, my e mails wouldn't load for some reason, so I had to ring the IT department. The remotely took over my computer and told me I had a huge hidden file that was stopping the server. The IT guy said he would find it for me, he did, and he opened it, and it was a huge flashing heart on the screen that John had sent to me in work on 14th feb 2006. Tp be honest, it was so lovely, and made my day, I had forgotten all about it. I felt he was there with me on valentines day.
As with the not washing the pillow, I still have the bedding that was on the bed when John died! They are tied up in a plastic bed, and probably smell awful 14 months later, but they are there, hidden away.
I also have a box with old holiday tickets in it, football tickets, etc. I hardly ever open it, but I know it's there if need be. Oh, and shoes, clothes and loads of other stuff too, not to mention his Stamp Collections collected from 1957, when he was still a boy.
AnW's Mum, I am thinking of you all the time, it must be so hard with the inquest coming up, I'm sure it will stir up a miriad of emotions. Just remember how strong you've been up till now, and how strong you will be again. Call anytime.
It is do wonderful to know how many people out there have been touched by tragedy, and still manage to help others.
Thank you to all of you for this miracle.
Sarymclary, it's great to hear from you again, infact, everyone. Keep going forward one day at a time, we have each other
Lots of love
Stormy

jbatista

I still read this post weekly and when I can I will post properley. I just want to say to you Stormy and Anw's Mum that I am thinking of you, lots of love to you 2 lovely ladies and remeber one day at a time.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dustykitten

Just popping in to see you all.
I am sorry some of you are having harder days again, I so know what you mean it is odd how we can plod along for a while and then drop right back. It is 3 years since Dad's passing now and sometimes I find it harder now than I did at the time. It always seemt real but now it seems so long since I've seen him and even more permanent if that makes sense.

Loublue hugs hun mothers day will be tough, I found buying father's day cards for hubbie really hard and could not buy a grandad one from the kids for my FIL, I simply could not look at them. At least once it has passed all evidence will be removed from the shops and you will feel a little more at ease.

Stormy - I loved your valentine story, it made me smile as well as cry.

Take care all of you, love Dusty x

Shelanne

Hi Stormy and everyone else.

My darling husband died suddenly on the 12th Feb and I can't seem to hold onto one coherent thought! I started a thread on Benefits board asking for practical advise and some helpful MSE posted the link to this thread. Just want to let you all know that reading most of this long sad thread has whiled away my first "on my own, business as usual" afternoon. It has been a comfort and I have so related to what a lot of you have said, I've talked to the screen, I know what you mean!

Sorry to ramble, just wanted to say thanks. Shelanne.

cornish_lady

Hi Shelanne

Sorry to hear your news. As you will have already found, you are in the right place for support, I have found this thread invaluable.

I know it's an old chestnut, but you really do need to get through one day at a time, and just do what you need to.

Any questions you have, just ask up and we'll do our best to help.

LouBlue

Dustykitten wrote: »

Loublue hugs hun mothers day will be tough, I found buying father's day cards for hubbie really hard and could not buy a grandad one from the kids for my FIL, I simply could not look at them. At least once it has passed all evidence will be removed from the shops and you will feel a little more at ease.

Thanks. I cannot wait for this week and weekend to be over. I shall be going to see her obviously.

Hugs to you Shelanne and anyone else that needs one. xx

Stormybay

Oh Sheelane, I am so sorry that you have had to come onto this thread, you must be in so much turmoil at the moment. All I can say is what Cornish Lady said, just take one minute at a time and remember to breathe in and out. If you manage that for just one day, then you have acheived a huge amount. Please feel free to pm me at any time, if you want to talk or if you just want to rant.
I can honestly say that this thread and the people on here have been, and continue to be a lifeline for me. Now, at just over a year, I can say that things do get easier, not necesseraly better, just different, but I'm much more able to cope (apart form the running out of petrol saga!!).
Please keep posting, even if you ramble and things don't make any sense. You are so more than welcome here. Another member referred me to the 'Merry Widow' board. I probably visit there most days, and, although I never post on there, it brings me much comfort. Perhaps you'd like to look over there too. http://www.merrywidow.me.uk/ (Sorry, not sure if [EMAIL="I@m"]I@m[/EMAIL] allowed to post this link)
Please come back soon, and sending you lots of hugs for now
My thoughts are with you at this awful time
Stormy
xxxxxx

rog2

Stormybay wrote: »

Another member referred me to the 'Merry Widow' board. I probably visit there most days, and, although I never post on there, it brings me much comfort. Perhaps you'd like to look over there too. http://www.merrywidow.me.uk/ (Sorry, not sure if I@m allowed to post this link)

Of course you are allowed to post that link, Stormy.

Stormybay

Thanks Rog2