Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

cornish_lady

Hi all

Sorry you having such a hard time again Stormy, I know what you mean, I don't think I've accepted he's gone yet. I thought the other day that I was doing well and then realised I was getting by because I was pretending he was away on a course/motorsport marshaling (which he did a lot).

Well I suppose that's ok we just have to do what we can to survive.

Listened to "the archers" this am and one of the characters has just left hospital and her husband told her the bed was too big without her and he missed her cold feet, of course that was me away again!! When he came in from night shift he always wrapped himself around me to warm up and I miss it so much. Silly eh?

His birthday was pretty awful, the family did their best and I'm pretty good at pretending I'm ok (should be on the stage) but Valentines will be worse, he was always such a romantic, red roses and everything.

When I read the text message thing for one fraction of a second I wondered if I could do that, daft that I am, I donated his phone to the air ambulance!!

The petrol thing is just so typical, it's the little things we don't guard ourselves against that get us every time. I'm so glad you got it sorted though, one more triumph to chalk up, not that it feels like it at the time, but it is, and John would have been so proud of you.

hugs to everyone that need them, and we'll all just keep on keeping on!!

Violetta_2

Hug's to you all hope you are doing ok, It can be the stupidest thing's that catch you offguard, I remember before Xmas I picked up a tin of corned beef, I was looking at it on the conveyer belt in Sainsburys and realised I'd got it because my mum always got it so she could rustle up some sandwiches for unexpected guests the next thing I'm bubblimg away at the checkout like a dafty. I miss my mum so much for my little girl, she's only 2 and a half & mum died 6 yrs ago.
A loved ones passing is not the end of them, I know someone as special as my mum is not finished just because the body gave up living, maybe not ghosts and things but I really believe death is not the end. Ooops sorry bit deep and mystical.
Funny my little girl looks at me sometimes and she looks just like my mum.
Stormy I'm sure your friend will give you a shoulder to cry on she won't mind bet she said she's be there for you anytime?

AnW'sMum

Hi

Hope everyone is ok and managed to get through Valentine's day unscathed. It's half term here this week, great to have Alice and William around and not have to rush round getting ready for school in the mornings.

We went shopping this afternoon for new clothes for them as they keep growing! Also got an outfit for Ian's inquest which is not that far away now. It seems to have taken so long to arrive I almost can't quite believe that it is almost here now.

Talking of strange things catching people off guard we took the old dishwasher to the tip today as it is not worth repairing. Nothing out of the ordinary in that. But as we left it there it felt really odd as Ian chose that and brought it home as a Christmas pressie for me, such a romantic lol but I was so pleased at the time as Alice and William were so young and it has been a real help to me. I know he would have said get rid of it and get another which is what I have organised but it still feels odd.

sarymclary

Hi AnW

Strange isn't it how throwing out inanimate objects feels like throwing away a part of your past life together? I'm the same. I can't throw out scraps of paper I find that my DH scribbled notes on. I have all his old chequebook stubs. I have 1 glove of an incomplete pair. I have his old electric travel razor (with trimmings!). To name but a few of many. God knows what the children will eventually make of all of it in years to come when they come across it. I only managed to throw out the broken toaster after several months of inactivity at the new year. I know our memories don't exactly slip away with the objects, but they are a tangible reminder, regardless of how silly our OH's probably think we are about them.

Love and best wishes to all who need it.
S x

LouBlue

Hugs to everyone on here.

Managed to get past my first Christmas without mum, my birthday without the best card I always get, mum's birthday....now just want to forward past the next 2 weeks. Mother's Day stuff everywhere. I hope it gets easier.

AnW'sMum

sarymclary you are so right, I have been sat here reading your post nodding to myself as I am just the same, bits of paper all over with Ian's writing on. I bet they are all sat up there havign a good old laugh at us all!

LouBlue well done on getting through Christmas and birthdays. Mother's day will soon be over, I know what you mean about it all and it does get easier, not that it always feels like that. I really struggle with Father's day as it was only a couple of weeks after Ian died and like you say stuff was everywhere. I found it so tough I couldn't even give a card to my own Dad which he completely understood.

cornish_lady

I bought one of those stacks of 6 boxes from Au Naturelle (only a fiver Martin :rolleyes: ) and all the bits and pieces are going in that.

The big one has his uniform hat and gloves and Union Jack in that were on his coffin (he was a Police Officer) and another has the sympathy cards in and yet another our love letters (imagine the flood when I came across those among his socks) there are all sorts of things which no-one but us would understand but hey whatever it takes. My Father-in law can't remove and wash his late wife's pillow case as it still smells of her perfume and she died 13 months ago.

One of my daughters has an answering machine message which no-one is allowed to delete (I haven't listened to it yet, I'm not ready for that)

Hugs for everyone that needs them.

Triker

Oooh what are you lot like, everytime I read your messages I set myself right off again.

I suppose one good thing that has come from reading about your respective losses is that I tell my grumpy old OH just how much I love and adore him every chance I get.

I know he secretly enjoys the attention.

Tonight I'm going to tell my girls just how lovely and important they are to me too, just so they know.

Love and light to you all. xxx

AnW'sMum

Cornish lady those boxes are a great idea. I have all Ian's uniform as well, he too was a police officer. I haven't put anything away, too me it seems wrong at the moment. I think in part that is due to the fact that we have not had the inquest yet. It will be 21 months to the day when it is held. Not looking forward to it but know it has to happen but suspect it will feel almost like it has all happened again.

pania

I've just checked in on this thread and to say my mascara has run is an understatement.
You guys should be so proud of yourselves the way you carry on in such a tough situation, my full admiration goes out to you.
Louloubelle I still have my mum and can't imagine the grief of a mother passing away, you have my full sympathies love and support for the position you are in.
And to not have my wonderful loving OH by my side, (he to wraps his feet around me to warm himself) would devastate me. It just puts into into perspective.
I was a police officer for a number of years and saw quite a few colleagues pass through off duty accidents (on duty in one sad case) and illness. It is awful when a colleague passes away but that is nothing compared to the loss that the family feel. I do so hope that you still have the love and support of the extended police family that comes as a part of the job.
The ones you have "lost" aren't so far away and when the time is right will be "found" again.
Lots of love and god bless to you and your families.
xxxxxxxx