We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Please give me a hug - am having a crap time....
Options
Comments
-
If their dad doesnt want to see them any more don't mention him to them. They havn't done anything wrong so if you keep bringing his name up it will only make them think about the situation even more.
I've sent you a PM with a link to a website which may be of some use.2008 Comping ChallengeWon so far - £3010 Needed - £230Debt free since Oct 20040 -
I have a sneaky feeling that this change of mind from the Dad is to do with control. The last thing is can control is whether he sees the children or not. And he probably knows that in saying no he is, if not hurting you, making your life difficult.
In the future - depending on how things turn out - you may have to explain things to your children. When they can understand better... and you will have to tell them the truth about their father - whether it hurts them or not -because otherwise you will be deemed the bad guy. And they have a right to the truth at some point if they ask.
I admire you for the strength you have shown so far and I wish you a lot of courage for the road ahead.
Don't forget to take care of yourself.LBM: August 2006 £12,568.49 - DFD 22nd March 2012
"The road to DF is long and bumpy" GreenSaints0 -
I think you're doing the right thing re the kids at the moment. The situation's still really raw, he's obviously having some extreme knee-jerk reaction and using 'i don't want to see the kids' as some kind of leverage. He's highly likely to change his tune on that, so I'd say it's best to hold the kids at bay as much as possible with 'normal' reasons why he can't have them (like being poorly) because he may well change his mind and then you'll wish they'd never known he said it...
you're doing brilliantly, stay strong.
Dec 2005 £8,500
April 2007 £0
Paid Off Since Lightbulb Moment £8,500
Debt Free Date: APRIL 16 2007
:j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j0 -
I too think he will change his mind and haven't been mentioning him at all. They've started to stop mentioning him so much but they still keep remembering the presents that he said he's got them.JUST DO IT ONE BRICK AT A TIMEPROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBTSWeekly Budget: groceries£50/petrol£50/Unnecesary£15DEBT PAID = 58% (£4,212/£8216):T0
-
My children's "dad" thinks he's exempt from buying presents since he lost his job.jet77 wrote:I too think he will change his mind and haven't been mentioning him at all. They've started to stop mentioning him so much but they still keep remembering the presents that he said he's got them.2008 Comping ChallengeWon so far - £3010 Needed - £230Debt free since Oct 20040 -
He always gets them presents but either gets them in the afternoon on the birthday or a few days late - but they always got Xmas pressies off him.JUST DO IT ONE BRICK AT A TIMEPROUD TO BE DEALING WITH MY DEBTSWeekly Budget: groceries£50/petrol£50/Unnecesary£15DEBT PAID = 58% (£4,212/£8216):T0
-
thinking of you jet - good luck hope 2007 is better for you.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 351K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.6K Spending & Discounts
- 244K Work, Benefits & Business
- 598.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 176.9K Life & Family
- 257.3K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards