Please give me a hug - am having a crap time....

BettiePage

jet77 wrote:

I might just get a cheap PAYG m/b. I obviously had some delightful text messages waiting for me when I switched the phone on but only a couple so I just deleted them.

Keep any correspondence from him as you might need it if this all gets to court. Get a PAYG phone or sim and don't give him the number.
Stay strong and do whats right for you and your kids.

spud30

Hi Jet,

I've just remembered, I have an Orange PAYG sim that I'm not going to use.

If you can use it, PM me your address and I will post it out to you x

tee_pee_2

just read this and wanted to send you a big hug, he sounds like a brute, you are most definitely better off without him.

Love
Tee pee
xxx

jet77

Hi,


Thanks for the sim offer spud but my mb co have said they will change my no. - must chase them actually as they were supposed to have done it last wed.

Hope everyone has a lovely NYE and all the best for 2007 - here's to a fresh start...

Luv Jxxx

katchambers

Hi jet,

I am so sorry for these awful things that have happened and are still happening to you, no one deserved to go through that and to be driven away from their home, especially over christmas, and to uproot your children, that is horrible and I can only offer you some hugs and my good wishes that it will all turn out well and he will move away and leave you alone.

Good luck for when you move back in, don't open the door to him and call the police when he knocks, hopefully he will get the picture if he knows the police are coming out every time he comes a-knocking he might give up.

I hope the new year brings peace to you and your family.

luv kat x x

jet77

Hi,

I came back up today and am staying at a friends house until I or the insurance can get the front door fixed. I went back to the house earlier on on my own to get the post and drop a few bits off but was really scared. I feel stupid for feeling like that but I did.

I've been looking at the option of renting my house out - have got poss tenant (a friend who is being moved out of a council house because they are knocking them down and the council can't find a house locally that meets her requiments so she is having to look to rent privately) and there is a nice house not to far away in an area that could be alot worse for rent thats £30 a month cheaper than my mortgage which I could rent until I could buy a 2nd property. On an MSE note also, because my friend gets housing benefit I would be able to charge rent at a good price (I think about £80 more than my monthly mortgage repayment).

'He' has rung me a few times over the past few days but I've just ignored the phone. I don't want to have anything to do with him but I know the kids are desperate to go round and get their presents ASAP. So, I was thinking of asking his sister to meet me in town and get the kids for a couple of hours and then getting my friend to pick them up for me. What does anyone reading this think? I would really value any advice right now.

Thanks, Luv Jxxx

Brassic

Just seen this thread - Not sure on the advice, although it seems like a good option to get someone else to help out for you so long as you are happy for him to see the kids. Keep a diary of everything, including visits with the kids etc, it seems silly, but may come in useful later on.

Anyway, I just wanted to say well done on being so strong, and send you a cyber hug. Here's to a happy 2007!

jet77

Just thought I'd update that I'm renting a house and renting my house out. I've spoken to WFTC and it will be fine. I've got a tenant lined up for my house and have found a house to move in to - am just waiting for result of credit check to see whether I've got it or not - fingers crossed!!!!

When I've finished paying off my debts and saved a bit I will look at getting a 2nd mortgage on a house that we can live in but it seems to be a good temporary solution.

However, I'm going to arrange a 2 month mortgage holiday with my bank while I get myself sorted.

I'm also getting a new car so that he doesn't know what I'm driving and then hopefully I can have a totally fresh start.

I rang him on Thurs last week because the kids have been asking to go round to get their Xmas pressies from him and asked when I could take them over. We agreed every Saturday and he seemed OK about it. He rang later that night and left a message saying that he doesn't want to see the kids again. So I thought right - you've had your chance and blown it. I had told the kids when they'd asked that they'd see him on Sat and then he turned round and did that so I've told them that they couldn't go up because he is poorly (I didn't say mentally).

I hope that I'm doing the right things!!

Luv Jxxx

donny-gal

Hi Jet

It's a lose, lose situation. At some point you will have to tell the kids the truth, don't allow him to use them to pull your strings.

Keep the voice mail so they can hear him say it himself if necessary. Take photos of the damage he had done if you can, when this happened to the daughter of my neighbour and he smashed up the neightbours house and beat up her mother. They kept photos so 6 or more years later when the son of the daughter thought she was stopping him seeing his father (she wasn't he didn't want contact) his Grandmother showed him the photos. He's not bothered since.

Don't tell the kids if they are going until only just before if he decides to see them again.

Thinking of you

jet77

Thx - but I don't think I could ever tell the kids that their Dad doesn't want to see them anymore because they would think that they'd done something wrong - I don't know what to do at all.