Buffy and the H fund..............

chevalier

Sorry to hear about your toxic friend. Interesting that she plans things a long time in advance and then doesn't see you. Perhaps in her hearts of hearts she knows she is a pain, and does this on purpose?

Good luck with her. They are hard to deal with. But if you move schools, and maybe counties etc, maybe it will wither anyway?

chev

ps good luck with the marking. At least you found it that is at least a start!

Buffythedebtslayer

I did the marking this morning before work, which to be honest was good in one way - it was done I gave it back but rubbish in other ways, I was late for work didn't have breakfast, felt dreadful made a complete fool of myself by completely over reacting and I feel like an idiot. The other person involved probably thinks I am mentally ill. :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o

Any how moving on! I did a bit more research for my MA, I am not going out tonight so can get some work done for Wednesday/THursday and then thank God the week will be over!

xxx

RosaBernicia

Unfortunately friends sometimes need decluttering like everything else in life. Maybe you could sort of wean yourself away from her? I have a long time friend who is similarly self-obsessed and have just been cutting down the amount of effort I put in - stopped repeatedly calling her when she'd basically cut me off and not bother to call back, stopped taking her birthday and Christmas gifts when she somehow couldn't make time to see me even with weeks of notice when I am only in town once in 6 months... and have just removed her from my Facebook news feed so am not tempted to keep in communication :rotfl:

Oh and stop calling yourself names! Find your FlyLady and remember good enough is good enough, yes? (hug)

Rosa xx

Buffythedebtslayer

mum2one wrote: »

a flying hi, will have to catch up properly with the diet, but a massive congratulations on becoming debt free, and passing your driving test, disn't want to run without a quick congrats xx

Oh Mum2one! :beer:

Hello (((hugs))) havent "seen" you for ages, ooo I was meant to be on your Ch****mas thread! How the heck are you? xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Clearly not me! I was doing it in half terms!

Any how there is a point to this exercise, 7 weeks is 49 days, never been hugely keen on odd numbers and fiddling with my day counter

http://www.easysurf.cc/ndate2.htm

I discovered that 50 days takes me from 22 July to the 10th September. (and then the 11th of Sept to the 31th Oct is another 50 days but you know I shouldn't get ahead of myself!)

So I need a definite plan, mainly to distract myself from the ex who I do love but frankly he is my Kryptonite, I love him but I turn into crazy lady in white night dress when he is around. And it isn't his fault - it really isn't, I am SO insecure around men I come over as a complete looney. I read into things and over react. I need to stay away from him. And calm the !!!! down basically.

This definite plan involves the following,

1. Decluttering
with this thread
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2948896

posting each day. beging disorganised and untidy is currently getting me down to the point were I would say I am bordering on depression.

Plans include - new furniture and new guinea pig cage to give me more room, also want new under bed boxes pink! and to paint my room white so I can accessorise in any colour The organising and new cage/furniture will happen pre Greece and the painting post Greece.


2. Weight loss - that old chestnut, with this thread

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3323476

I am going to give up on the Shred I like it as an exercise video but I can't do it upstairs am nervous of the 3 fish tanks in my room! and downstairs it isn't always convienent so I have a Yoga video and am going to aim to do 30 minutes walking/running/stationary bike each day in order to run a 10Km in September.

3. For general motivation and inspiration with my studies the Memory girl matrix thread - which I think is going to move soon to a new thread but you get the idea.

4. For improving my appearance - am SICK OF WEARING BLACK! and being frumpy.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3313316

and Lula Clothes Challenge - which I really must update!

5. I need some kind of money challenge. my 10 (5) pounds a day effort has been a bit pants. Maybe I just stick to my saving challenges. I don't know yet.

6. Also making sure I am doing my 101 things in 1001 days list, I going to make a real effort to do all the non travelling ones in the 6 -8 months whilst saving for the travelling ones.

Any how it is time for bed, small furry creatures need food! ooo btw you are all going to kill me but I have offered to take on two gerbils, I already have a cage and stuff so they won't cost much honest.

take care all
and see you tomorrow

Love Buffy xxx

hypno06

All looking good!

Re the toxic stuff - about a year ago, as part of my "find who I *really* am" process, I started to think about the toxic stuff in my life.....I found it quite surprising when I actually started to think of the amount of toxicity of one sort or another that surrounded me.....things, people, attitudes that just sapped my energy one way or another.

A few weeks later, one of the MemoryGirl challenges was to list those things that were toxic, so I worked on, and expanded my list by doing a mind map. As I wrote down each thing, I was already thinking of how and why it is toxic to me, and what I can do to rid myself of the toxicity.

Over the past year, I have made those changes - sometimes it is to drop someone who might, in the past, have been under the heading of "friend", sometimes it might be a change in my own attitude that was needed....but I think it is working.

Some of them are little things - For example, the people on the bus annoy me - they have the same conversation with each other every day - their voices annoy me, their conversation topics annoy me, blah blah blah. I was getting to work wound up just because of it. Solution - plug my ipod into my ears, enjoy sounds of my own choosing, and either lose myself in the music, or read a book at the same time. And also to remind myself that it is nice for these people to have each other to talk to.....they obviously get to work happy that they have had their daily moan.....;)
Result!

QOTD

I agree with your friend who said that if you were to just walk awau from your other *friend* she probably wouldn't even notice.

From what you have said, it is as if you feel that she only has a small number of friends so you would feel guilty if you were not one of them. Well IMHO I would think that the sooner she faces up to the fact that she has few friends because she isn't a true friend herself, the better. It is not for you to try and "make the numbers up".

Also if she maintains that she is always busy, this slightly contradicts the thought of her not having so many friends, so maybe you should just leave her to get on with her "busy" life....

Buffythedebtslayer

QOTD wrote: »

I agree with your friend who said that if you were to just walk awau from your other *friend* she probably wouldn't even notice.

From what you have said, it is as if you feel that she only has a small number of friends so you would feel guilty if you were not one of them. Well IMHO I would think that the sooner she faces up to the fact that she has few friends because she isn't a true friend herself, the better. It is not for you to try and "make the numbers up".

Also if she maintains that she is always busy, this slightly contradicts the thought of her not having so many friends, so maybe you should just leave her to get on with her "busy" life....

She isn't busy going out, she is busy with her baby, the washing, the house, I get the you wouldn't understand withering look so frequently given to those who don't have children or husbands :rotfl:cos i have absolutely nothing to do here at all!

I do think I will back off extensively tho, I felt dreadful Sunday even tho it wasn't so bad, I still ended up with a headache and that ruined Monday.

xxx

beanielou

Great idea to back off.
Headache says it all doesent it.

Buffythedebtslayer

hypno06 wrote: »

All looking good!

Re the toxic stuff - about a year ago, as part of my "find who I *really* am" process, I started to think about the toxic stuff in my life.....I found it quite surprising when I actually started to think of the amount of toxicity of one sort or another that surrounded me.....things, people, attitudes that just sapped my energy one way or another.

A few weeks later, one of the MemoryGirl challenges was to list those things that were toxic, so I worked on, and expanded my list by doing a mind map. As I wrote down each thing, I was already thinking of how and why it is toxic to me, and what I can do to rid myself of the toxicity.

Over the past year, I have made those changes - sometimes it is to drop someone who might, in the past, have been under the heading of "friend", sometimes it might be a change in my own attitude that was needed....but I think it is working.

Some of them are little things - For example, the people on the bus annoy me - they have the same conversation with each other every day - their voices annoy me, their conversation topics annoy me, blah blah blah. I was getting to work wound up just because of it. Solution - plug my ipod into my ears, enjoy sounds of my own choosing, and either lose myself in the music, or read a book at the same time. And also to remind myself that it is nice for these people to have each other to talk to.....they obviously get to work happy that they have had their daily moan.....;)
Result!

I am supposed to be marking but I really need some advice, I have the new boss, ten years younger then me, not hugely inspiring or knowledgable - she is nice enough but VERY by the book, works through every lunch time, kids aren't massively keen on her, she isn't, oh God I sound like a right !!!!! but she isn't impressive? I tihnk she will grow into the role but just not next year if you see what I mean.

How do I handle this?

I know in my own mind I didn't want the job, I have two jobs and my life is quite busy enough thanks plus I am only staying till I finish my Masters (about another year I hope) so I don't think I am jealous, I am worried about discipline...........not having much freedom to teach......I don't know. I could be overreacting but any how suggestions welcome

xxxx