Buffy and the H fund..............

rdchick

hello Buffy!!

I would definitely tell your friend that work talk is banned on your hols!! as for the bucket list thing and the futureme thing how awesome - I have a day zero account after seeing Stitchys thread. I love it!! The futureme one sounds great too! I will have to check it out.

Be careful with the gym, I thought the same about joining mine, that I could swim there loads and it will be great value for money. I went for the first month and then got bored!! so a year later I am still paying for it!! oops!

Well done on the shred. I hurt a little but not too much, I can still walk! xxx

needingaccountability

Thanks for the future me link. Just sent myself a message on my debt free due date, all the more incentive not to mess up!:rotfl:

chevalier

how about a challenge. tell her that the school subject is banned for the length of the holiday. And each time someone from school is mentioned or anything about marking etc, that person has to put £1 in the kitty or something. And that pays for drinks in the evening.

Very mse if you can get her on board:D
Or am I just a bit evil?
chev

beabea81

Hi Buffy,

I have a friend that I love like a sister. Her kids are my kids and vice versa. She has been through so much with me and I with her... truly I love her to bits! BUT... her OH is a bit of a prat. In fact he is a significant amount of a prat! He's never helped her with the kids, never gotten up with them so she could have a lie in, never cooked a meal, never washed up or done any household work, he hasn't had a job in years (he's off work with illnesses now but previously he was fit and well for work and still didn't have a job), he doesn't even go and get his own prescriptions even though he is able to and his greed for fancy cars; gadgets and generally being mr loaded landed him in prison for drug running, she then skinned herself travelling miles to see him weekly (it was £60 a time on the train and a 12 hour day due to connecting train times etc) and he insisted she sent him £40 a week into prison for his 'spends'. All this she does without a complaint....except to me! On and On and On... he's done this and that and blah blah blah. For a long time I used to get really angry...'Why the hell are you being such a doormat' sort of thing, then I tried a different tactic of being more 'sympathetic' to her plight, "Oh you must be so fed up and tired, How do you manage?" but in the end I just couldn't face seeing her. I hated the way he was but I hated that she wouldn't accpet my help or see that it was a rubbish situation. In the end we didn't speak for two years and I missed her so much. Now we are exactly as we were before but with the exception that I will not talk, in depth, about her relationship. I will listen to her vent because I would be a rubbish friend if I didn't but I don't take it on my shoulders, I just say "We'll your never gonna leave him so you either have to accept it or stop doing it. Fancy a cake?"

I know it's not quite the same but I do understand what you say about feeling horrible about it, my OH will say "You were reall mean to her then, She obviously has problems at home and only wants to talk"... I listen and that is all I can do. I deftly change the subject and all is ok again!

Good luck on your holiday..... perhaps invest in some headphones? lol

Bea x

Buffythedebtslayer

I am glad I am not the only one with friends I love but could sometimes use gaffer tape on their mouths..........lol might do the drinks thing and Bea, I don't know how you manage, that must be bloody difficult. Friends "relationships" are a bit of a minefield.

Ok as well as the future me and day zero business I am reading Eat that Frog by Brian Tracey and (some may find this tragic but hey I will try anything once) listening to the psychology of success also by him, which is actually very interesting, mostly about being in the moment working bloody hard and enjoying yourself. all good so far. I am also looking into CBT with a fellow MSE er, I must sort out the eating (random crap) and the ex who still pops up occasionally and whom I am pretty much in love with, love and STILL miss.

I must go to bed now. I put good night on my FB status about an hour ago!!!

see you all tomorrow, thank you so much for the kind words and help xx

Love Buffy

Buffythedebtslayer

Couldn't sleep for AGEs resorted to Horlicks in the end!!

am now quite tired and Achey, think the Shred is catching up with me. Any how I have ALOT to do in various places this week. I must go to bed early though cos this cycle of constant tiredness that means a collapse on saturday isn't working.

I have written out my goals for the month and despite being sad about the ex I am feeling positive about the rest of my life!

Have a good day folks

xxx

beabea81

I always have trouble sleeping when things are on my mind. Someone recommended that I write the worry/issue down and then tell myself that I will deal with it in the morning. I then spent all night worrying that I hadn't written somethign on the list ! lol didn't work for me but that doesn't mean its a rubbish method... it just means I'm a worrier! lol

Buffythedebtslayer

Right so today at work was tough, the news about the cuts and redundancies has got out and everyone (and I do mean everyone) is very miserable.

I know logically it will pass and we will feel better however it the moment it has kind of stained everything? Changed how I see things, I don't know. It will be hard for a while, I mean it quite often is but now we are talking about people losing their jobs and not making mortgage payments I just feel very worried for them right now. And I am not very motivated to work either. I feel we are being asked to do too much and it is unrealistic. I will try not to think like that cos on the whole I feel fairly positive about my job, but for today..........:shock:

SO I came home and in some kind of weird fit I cleaned my car. polished, hoovered and added new stuff. Am very pleased with it. Certainly took my mind off work.

and then I did the Shred, 3 in a row, 10% done.

I do need to mark some stuff so should go to bed and get up early. Working girl is on channel 4 and I do love that movie. And I am hungry.

money wise I have spent a lot on clothes recently and its not really well thought out. and OMYGOD petrol is expensive. Almost 100 pounds to fill up my tank!

toooooooooooooooooooo sleeepy.

mark in the morning.

xxxx

chevalier

Hi Buffy. Well done on the Shred. I did the walking school bus today, and swam 16 lengths last night, so am a bit achey myself this morning. I will try and do it at least once this week (insert blushing face here). Nice one on doing some of it!

I too have friends that are great mates, but have major issues with one area of their life. I just can't keep my mouth shut as much as I used to, so don't speak to them very much....
chev

Bad_Weather

Hey Buffy!

So much to say but ill just pick a couple! BIG CONGRATS on being debt free...jealous much...me....nahhhh. NOT!!!

Also love you holiday fund. Im a holiday gal! Thats my next target once i get onto some stabilisers!

I totally agree how you feel re people in your life. Im sooooo past all that. All the crap, all the drama. Really life is stressful enough without other people adding to it. IGNORE/BLOCK what ever you need to do to keep these people away from sucking your energy! THEY'RE STEALING YOUR WIND (Friends anyone?).

Chin up re the work. I hope your not affected? If so get a contingency plan in place. If not well done, head down and just ride out the bad times. Don't let it bring you down too much

xx