MSE Pregnancy Club 22

Winnie_in_Pooh

pigpen wrote: »

Im safe then

It has only been these last 2 I have been quite so terrible with.. I am just far too old to be spawning more children.. but I knew that after Tiddles.

Perfecly safe

I always said the reason I hadn't had another baby after DS was because I didn't want more children with KH - which is still completely true - but the further I get into this pregnancy, the more I'm remembering how much I struggled last time!

If it wasn't for the pregnancy bit, I'd probably have at least 4 by now!

Kira000

Thanks ladies. Oh Gawd. At this rate i'll electrocute myself by soaking the laptop in tears. Ok, well prepare for a splurge.

Just got back having been up with mum since Thurs. Was bad news at the hospital. Definate cancer, certain complete mastectomy, and now waiting final tests to see if it has spread to bones and other tissue as they suspect. Mum devastated. Neither of us has really slept since Thursday as i couldnt sleep whilst she sat up crying. Parents divorced, my sister is in a new job so cant take time off, and is anyway terrible at looking after people and dealing with stuff, and mum is a good 3 hours away by car. Two more tests before 20th Sept, when the consultant will give the verdict on full prognosis and treatment, and the op will be by the 20th Oct at the latest. I need to use my leave to supplement my mat leave, or i'll basically be in schtuck finanacially, due to scale of debt payments left by my ex. So looks like i'm going to have to cut short my mat leave so i can go live with mum for a month at 7 months PG, to look after her. And thats if it is just the mastectomy and reconstruction. If its Chemo/radiotherapy then it will be longer, and i'm looking at mat leave for 2-3 months instead of 6. And both my best friends who are also PG, have lost a parent to cancer, which was diagnosed and fatal within 6 months, so i have to face physically having beanie with a very sick mum or no mum at all.

It just feels like all the joy of having beanie number 1 has just been flushed down the pan.

Lozzy88

Kira i am really sorry about your mams Cancer, my mam has very recently had throat cancer (must add she is not a smoker) which i no is totally different type but the label itself is awful. My mam ended up having intense radio and chemotherapy and then a operation to remove some salivary gland from her neck because it had spread, But the really positive thing is she is now in remission.

Your mam will need your support more then ever but remember to care for yourself and bump too, and also you being pregnant is such a positive thing for your mam to focus on there will be days when all you want to talk about is treatments, and possible scenarios and how things *could* pan out. But there are going to be days where your mam is feeling more herself and will want nothing more then to chat about bump all day.

The main thing is she will be in the best place to help her, I really do wish you and your family all the best in these bad times. have a weird hug thing also :grouphug:

Wonder_Womble

Aaaah Kira I am so sorry to hear about your mum!

I think Lozzy is right though in that you will be able to use your pregnancy as a means of distracting her and cheering her up. I know at the minute you feel like all the joy has been taken out of your pregnancy, but it will be the one thing that keeps you and your mum going during this difficult time.

Regarding your work situation. Try not to use your leave entitlement to look after your mum, speak to your manager about paid crisis leave. If this is not forthcoming, do you get paid sick leave? If so speak to your GP about the support your mum will need from you, the stress this is placing you under due to financial concerns etc and he should give you a Doctor's note for work.

So sorry Kira, and I really hope it hasn't spread to her bones. Thinking of you.

Wonder_Womble

(((Hugs))) to Winnie, Mirror, and PP, and anyone else in pain. I woke every hour again last night, if it wasn't my back it was my hips, but I discovered that if lying on my side and I lifted my leg straight up towards the ceiling the pain lessened in my hips. Not good for sleeping, but still .....

I got my Nuby breast pump today :j and it wasn't even delivered by Royal Mail, so the postie was under threat for no reason. Now I have that I wonder if I'll sleep better at night?

Other than that I have been and had my hair cut and coloured today, which has cheered me up. Also my mam and sister have both visited to donate more baby stuff, although where we are going to put it all I have no idea!

Weather is miserable up here today so I may hibernate and watch some more OBEM on 4oD.

mancbird

Oh kira, big hugs to you xxx so sorry to hear it wasn't good news at the hospital

The girls have given you some very good advice regarding sick / crisis leave so I would talk to your work and see what they say.

It sounds like things are going to move quickly so that is good news for your mum. I'm sorry to hear that the joy has been taken out of your pregnancy but as someone else suggested it will probably give your mum something positive to focus on in the coming weeks.

Take care of yourself, bump and your mum xxx

delain

(hugs) kira and I hope all works out OK for your mum. I'm sure she'll really appreciate you being with her, and you shouldn't have to use your mat leave. OH has been given (unpaid) leave to look after me before.

My first 2 pregnancies (including the twin one) were an absolute breeze.

Squeak was OK although some PGP until the end when everything went haywire, but apparently that would have happened sooner or later anyway!

This time I'm mostly OK still although I feel like I'm doing a penguin waddle already, I feel so huge Time will tell wether the other plays up or not this time. My mum did do my head in, ringing and being horrible to me when she found out every night for a week... Her reasoning being she was scared I was going to die?! Aaarghhh!! after I explained to her for the 250th time that

a) it has nothing to do with pregnancy or babies
b) It may or may not come back
b) even if does it isn't fatal anyway

She was still having a stress so I left her to it. I am so sick of the way it's all about her.

Lirin

Kira, thinking of yourself and your mum.....

Cancer is shocking to deal with initially- there has been more than a few in my family diagnosed with cancer- some made it, some didn't.... My mum works for a cancer charity. Your mum has the comfort of knowing she has you with her, and she has your little one to focus on. Keep strong for her, but cry as much as you need too.... It is very hard to take in as family and friends....

I would recommend http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx- they have highly trained staff who will be able to answer any questions you have, and they've been a comfort to people I know in the past.

If there's any way we can help post on here, and I'm always around if you need a chat..

Emily926

Kira i'm so sorry it was bad news for your mum, my thoughts are with you. I dont suppose it would be possible for your mum to come and stay with you whilst she is recovering?

Went for a walk today in a lame attempt to do some exercise, my feet are now swollen and painful - dont know why i bother!

Bunnyhop

So sorry Kira. I second the advice to contact Macmillan, they are fabulous and will be able to point you in the direction of any financial help you (as a carer) and your Mum might be entitled to. You may well find your work are supportive, I know mine was when my Dad was terminally ill so please try not to worry about that stuff, just worry about you, beanie and being there for your Mum, the leave and how to physically be there with her will work out, these things always have a habit of doing so even when you can't begin to imagine how they will x