MSE Pregnancy Club 22

carolineb23

Kira, I'm so sorry to hear what you and your mum are going through. I haven't really got any advice further to what's already been mentioned but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and really hope the cancer hasn't spread.

pigpen

Kira.. sending big big hugs and a whole box of aloe vera tissues.. dont want you getting a sore beak now do we!? Could your mum not stay with you for a bit? I am certain that you BOTH forcussing on the pregnancy and the new little person coming into your lives will provide a welcome distraction. Make plans to keep you both busy until the surgery.. it will pass the time quicker.. Take it one day at a time and if you need to cry or scream or rant or be philosophical or whatever.. go with it...

She should be able to get some financial help if she is unable to work and needs someone to look after her while recovering..

Bedroom on the way to being habitable.. all the baby stuff is away, mine and OHs clothes are away, christmas pressies stashed... I would almot not be embarrassed to have the window cleaned now.. though... OHs side of the bed is :eek: in the extreme.. but I will be tackling that next!

DS3 in the dog house.. little git giving me backchat and tormenting Tiddles.. I will string him up!!

Kira000

Thanks for the words of support and ideas. Its all just seeming hopeless right now with the uncertainty, and having had to hold everything back whilst with mum hasnt helped.

I've already checked out the leave situation. I can have up to 5 days paid leave for "compassionate" reasons/ for dependants which includes caring for relatives, which will help a little, but its just 5 days in 12 months. Problem is, that if i take unpaid leave it will count towards my average salary for mat leave, and bring down my 6 weeks at 90% which i cant afford. And if i go off sick/stress in the 10 weeks before my M/L my M/l automatically gets triggered, so i'm still in the same position or worse financially as using my a/l early. Its a no win situation really.

I asked the consultant about mum coming down to us, and she strongly advised against, a) due to the long car journey, but b) mainly as she will need lots of follow up appointments and checks in the following days, weeks and months, so its not really practical.

*sigh* I'm sure it will all start to pan out in the next few weeks, but i just feel overwhelmed, scared and exhausted right now.

Really, i do appreciate your support.
kx

mirrorimage0

kira sorry to hear what your all going through, double check that sickness leave and the 10 weeks thing, i know with mine if i went sick in the 4 weeks leading up it would trigger the start of my maternity.

hugs to all those in pain, my backache has eased over the course of the day (just dont tell hubby lol) ooh and i found his bracelet in the garden this morning that he thought he had lost last week whilst digging so im in the good books (as well as actually letting him have some this morning lol) he reckons his day couldnt get any better lol

delain

I thought as well that they can't trigger your mat leave until 36 weeks?

waitingforpost

Big hugs Kira. I'm almost certain they can only start your ML if you are within 4 weeks of your due date, not 10 weeks, so hopefully that might help a bit finanically.

Kandboys

Oh Kira I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't have any words of wisdom but I do want to send you some hugs and say I am thinking of you xx

Wonder_Womble

Kira000 wrote: »

And if i go off sick/stress in the 10 weeks before my M/L my M/l automatically gets triggered, so i'm still in the same position or worse financially as using my a/l early. Its a no win situation really.

I would double check this with your HR department, as it should be within 4 weeks of your due date (i.e. from 36 weeks pg) and then nly if the sickness is pregnancy related.

As someone else mentioned though (Lirin I think), please get in touch with Macmillan as they can give YOU and your mum support, as well as advice and information on financial grants you could be entitled to to help you through this difficult time.

Sorting out the financial stress is something constructive you can do whilst waiting for appointments and more information from the hospital.

Gillyx

Lirin The place they live is in Armagh the county but not actually Armagh so probably not. Was through there today actually doing a bit of shopping, for being a city the shops aren't great are they

Kira I really am sorry to hear about your news. A close member of my family has had a double mastectomy and it was an awful fight but she got through it and I firmly believe her positive attitude got her there. I wish you and your mum all the best, you'l be in my thoughts xx

durham05

Hi, been buying the huggies starter packs and they have £5 of coupons & Euro 5 of coupons which cant b used here, any1 in ireland wanna swap thier £ coupons for my english ones if no one has swaps, they are up for grabs.
pm me.