Debt Free - Let's do this!! Medical related!!

learning_to_drive

Just another quickie for people on here if possible, If I get in at ASDA, when I applied I obviously was still working for Sainsbury's, however since then I have had two jobs (FD and I.R.) I have my P45 from JS, I didnt get it until Dec and by then I had left both FD and I.R.

Would people mention either of these jobs at the interview? Obviously I dont want to disclose too much about them really, cos it doesnt look that good on my record.

Plus IR may mention about my stress / depression that I am recovering from and on medication for.

So what to do? Mention that i was at two jobs and decided that both are not for me?

gallygirl

Keep the positive attitude going!!!

With regards to the debts, you know financially it makes sense to pay off Blach Horse. However, if I was you I'd concentrate on getting rid of all the little ones first. Not only will it give you a big boost (like ticking things off on your to do list does!) but it will also make your sitaution less complicated - so lesss stress for you. Also, less to remember so less likely to miss a payment date.

If you have handed in a cv or puts dates on your application you are likely to be asked what you've been doing since. Is FD 1st direct (sorry, can't remember!). I'd be inclined to mention IR only, as that will be on P45. You can turn it into a positive - say you went there because more money but quickly realised it wasn't for you, that your future lies in retail etc, you missed xx and yy (DK what.... working to tight deadlines with perishable stock???? etc.)

Good luck!

learning_to_drive

Definitely, the thing with retail is, the buzz, the fact you are always busy, customer contact and the fact that I actually enjoy it. I would rather put out Fruit and Veg at ASDA than answer phones at I.R.

I think I got swayed by the people who said that retail was w*nk and not a good job, so I went for a better employer, so if I said that I worked for I.R. / FD (First Direct!) then people would be impressed and then not give me a hard time over what I was doing with my life (madness eh?) plus I had a lot of issues at Sainsbury's so I thought that it was a sign that it wasnt for me (retail).

CAFCgirl made me think when she said why not go for another food retailer, they are all the same at the end of the day, which is very true. Another thing with me is that It's in my blood is retail, I dont care what people think of me having aspirations to go far in ASDA / Morrisons whoever because it's part of me! It's in my makeup to do this, im lucky to be good at something and know what I want to do and to be able to do it!

I'll give you an example of retail and why it's still in me, I havent gone on about my new jobs, and when our kid has come home, Ive asked him how it was going and we would speak about JS (he works there) and what was going on, I would provide advice on various things. Ditto, when I used to work at JS I was always getting shopping from Morrisons, as I consider them the standard, the benchmark, their stores are pristine and always full, I still go in even now and look at things in detail. This indicates to me that maybe there is something in it!

My uncle was surprised when I said I had left JS, he said you were doing really well there? I thought maybe I was, I dont want to throw it all away for a rash decision, Ive had 2 months out, I miss it, I can say with confidence that I dont want to work in an office / call centre again, because Ive done it and I can say its not for me!

I agree with the sentiment regarding Black Horse, its the biggest debt, but there is no way I would be able to pay that off second, I will focus on the smaller debts before I look at that one, so I will press ahead with my initial plan of HSBC / Small Mint / Argos/Next / HFC!

I have a P45 from JS that has no mention of anything from IR / FD thats a printed one that says I was there from Apr 02 til 18/11/06.

learning_to_drive

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you are all well, think I ended it with g/f yesterday night, she was out as was I, ended up being pushed away by her mate, cos I was upsetting her. I only asked some questions about things as I was confused about where I stood.

As a result I got more confused, I mean to all intents and purposes its over, but I feel very very down now, really down, as in as bad as I have felt at these new jobs sort of feeling. Its Christmas day, I've had severe ups and downs today, the worst for quite a long time.

I dont know, I guess maybe I just struggle to cope with bad news / arguments and stuff. I go through phases of being up and down anyway, but I havent been as bad recently, however just now has been terrible, today.

God Its not left me yet this problem, roll on the counselling stuff in the new year, is it because its love and I will struggle to get over it?

learning_to_drive

God, all I seem to do now is spend most of my time on the Internet, my routine now is get up, look at bank accounts, then spend most of my day on MSE / games / forums / checking emails 10 times a day.

I feel really down, and just all over the place at the minute, It's over with my g/f I think, and Im devestated, I'm trying to see her at some stage in the next few days, I just look at stuff she bought me and feel absolutely gutted. I feel exactly like I did when I was at IR / FD / Dewsbury etc.

Its strange, I mean im thinking about my life now and it appears like ive lost everything, I mean I had a job with JS and was doing well, Ive lost that, I dont blame the g/f or anytihng, I just cant believe it has come to this.

I feel so so down now, I miss her already, and even though she was saying stuff that means she isnt good for me, "I dont ever want to get married", and other stuff, she couldnt explain away how come she had not been in contact and admitted she was a cow, she keeps saying that she has give me a way out by admiting this, but I dont want a way out. It sounds daft but this is not her, she isnt like this, she has changed in the recent months since she went back to uni. In the summer she was ace, had she not gone back we would have probably got a place together. I cant believe how much she has changed!

I feel down though because of the fact that my life is dire, I have no job (asda in the new year hopefully) I hope that comes off, but I cant be like this and down again because it doesnt do me any favours. I can do really well for myself at ASDA and I cant let the same thing happen again thats happened at the tax office and FD.

Not only that, but I worry that If I meet a lass then I wont trust her because of what has occurred now, Its mad though, this is what I mean about my worries. I just dont want to go downhill again.

Should I feel like this now? I've been on my fluoextine for over a month now, 5 weeks or so, havent missed a dose or anything like that, I mean what are the signs that they are starting to work?

Money wise, its sorted out near enough now, I mean there is nothing more I can do until I get out to work (ASDA, I really want to be right for that) the car is something that I will seriously have to look at in terms of payments, Its just going to be tight because Im attempting to get on top of debts its going to be hard not to spend on going out and things.

I just feel that I dont have much in my life really, I mean I have friends and stuff, and a decent social life, but I cant afford to go out now really, because of the cash situation. I mean I spend loads of time on my computer, the internet and stuff, I dont really do much else, I play football on a Sunday admittedly but I dont have much else.

As my friend said to me, "I dont know what else to say about your situation, but I cant believe it has got to this".

I go through phases of being up and down, not as wild as they were granted but I just want to be better and ok, I've split up with people before (not as loved up as I was here) and I feel terrible about it. I just dont know what to do, I feel like I dont have anything now in my life. I just feel dire.

learning_to_drive

Upped for anyone looking, feel a bit better now, just up and down.

Counselling soon, just got to wait for my initial appointment, unsure what to expect really.

miggy

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through such a rough patch.
Just to pick up on what you are saying about being in front of the computer all day... getting some exercise will help lift your spirits (yes really - I've even known it to be prescribed by a doctor). While you aren't working, why not set yourself an exercise target - a mile, two miles a day? Or look up some old mates while you have time to visit? Or borrow a dog and just walk <g>.
Not only will it help your spirits, it will help you be healthy and alert when that job comes along.
Also, is there any voluntary work you could do, even for a few days - it all looks good on the CV and you never know what skills you might gain.
All the best - new year, new horizons coming up.

Kevicho

Hey LTD, sounds like your having a rough ride at the moment, but hang on in there, the clouds are always darkest before the sun shines.

Right i want you to try something, and do this properly.

I want you to find a piece of paper, or a diary, and every night before bed, write 3 things you hvae done in that day that you accomplished something, or at least made you smile.

When you wake up the next morning, read that list, maybe think of 3 things to do that day that you want to be able to write in later.

Repeat the process

Try this for a week or two, ideally longer, i know it sounds stupid but from your posts you are focusing too much on the negatives, from what ive read there is a lot of positive things that you are saying, but not focusing on.

Try this for a week or two

Kev

learning_to_drive

Very good, I hadn't thought of that actually, certainly something to consider, running and stuff like that. Keep me fit!!

Certainly the voluntary stuff is worth looking at too, I cant think of anywhere in particular but I'm sure if I looked I could!

Money isn't too bad, got the bank charges claims going through (£470 in total) so that should help me through the month and aid me to clear some debts!!!

£93 mobile bill this month though, bloody hell, my aim is not to go over the £30 bill now, by monitoring text message usage and once my allowance is up using my PAYG Sim (£15 - 500 free txts).

Orange give me a new phone next month, its badly needed as mine at the minute is dire, its good that ive spent madly in the past, as they are going to give me a upgrade early because of my mad spend on the account. I can then sell my current phone and cut my spending right back, its unbelivable.

Its certainly a resolution, to manage my text messages on my contract phone 100 times better than I have been doing.

anniestar

Have been reading this very closely and have been unsure as wheither or not to post as I really dont want to upset you in any way. Firstly you are doing well in addressing your problems. BUT........................Firstly you need to relax and reailise that things take time. Ok so you now can clearly see that retail is for you which is great, but it worries me a bit that you are pinning everything on to ASDA. You very probably WILL get the job, be happy and successful and progress to the level that you want to. BUT......Things sometimes don't go to plan(for no reason they just don't sometimes) try to have a plan b in place just in case.Secondly, anit depresants whilst a useful help won't make things perfect in your life, my DH was on them many years ago to help him cope with the conciquences of a serious illness(the same ones as you are on)they might(not everyone responds to them) help you cope but they will not "solve everything". Likewise the councelling, yes it will be a great help to have someone to listen to you and to assist you with comming to decisions and to help you focus but again it cannot make everything right for you. I'm really sorry about your girlfriend and the problems that you have had, but people change and maybe its better now rather than down the line when perhaps there would be more heartbreak. Yes, you WILL get over this its hard I know I remember feeling as though the end of the world had come when I had been dropped and feeling that I would never be able to trust or love anyone EVER again but time is a great healer. Its not anybodys fault nor is it the fault of uni-perhaps if she had not gone back things would have been different but then you would have perhaps had a very unhappy girlfriend which would not be good for either of you. I agree totally with the OP I'm not sure sitting in your room dwelling on things alone is very helpful. Ok you don't have money but voulenteering is free, makes such a difference, helps people and makes you feel as though you have made a difference. You have family and friends, treasure them. You are not alone. Your debts are managable, you are in control of them be proud that you have taken control of them.If you think there is a magic answer to your problems then I fear that you will be very dissapointed. There are no magic solutions to situations, you have spoken of your impatience, well perhaps this is making things more dificult. Simply by wanting something to happen doesn't mean that it will.At the end of the day the only person that can change your life is YOU. No"magic" potions or pills, no girlfriend, no councellor no job. They can all have a big impact, can make life better, but in the end its all down to YOU. You CAN do it you know. Please don't think I have no idea, I also couldn't cope with things, didn't have any close family or friends nearby my hair was falling out by the handful and I was covered in a very unsightly skin complaint-100% stress related.DH has also had stress problems. I am just worried that you are putting too much hope on ASDA in particular(although I have no doubt that things WILL work out for you there) I am concerned about how you will feel should there be a slip up. Please do get out more walk, take a dog out or go for a mooch round the shops, contact with people will take your mind off your issues. I wish you well. Good luck, Annie