Debt Free - Let's do this!! Medical related!!

miggy

learning_to_drive wrote:

Got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brilliant! Congratulations!
So, when do you start?
Wishing you all the best with it!

learning_to_drive

I start tomorrow actually!! At 9:30 am, induction day tomorrow, then my first night shift is Sunday, which is good, I'm looking forward to it, I'm still a long way off being myself, I'll be honest, it's going to be a rocky road to recovery but I can beat this.

The best way to describe my feelings when I get a bit panicked are that i feel nervous / physically sick (not sick but near the feeling of being sick) worried and generally just like I was homesick, for example I think back to when I was at school and went on a school trip to France!

Its very strange, the feeling goes pretty quickly, its a hellishly rough ride until it does and I settle down, I went for my police force assesment this morning, I had that feeling there which is why I'm feeding it back to you to see if anyone else feels the same way about new places for example.

I've never ever had a problem until recently with integrating in new places, or making friends, to a certain extent I still don't, It's like when I'm happy im through the roof, and when Im down Im literally through the floor.

I dont think it will happen again where I can hack it, its just a very strange thing, CAFC girl said to me you will get to an angry stage in the depression, that is now, I just want to be over all this, I mean im not that bad but still I dont like the worry or anything. Im still taking my tablets too

Wondered if anyone else had a similar situation that they have dealt with?

learning_to_drive

Feeling a bit better now, obviously a bit worried and a bit nervy

I'm sure I'll be fine, it's been hell recently, I want to get better and move on! I do want to do it so badly, I'm thinking about shifting my car on too, £145 a month is a lot of money to me, I need to look at getting something a lot cheaper, but its getting the money to buy something cheap.

I'll get better, day by day, just have to battle it on a daily basis!!!

gallygirl

Probably too late, but good luck!!!!!

miggy

learning_to_drive wrote:

I start tomorrow actually!! At 9:30 am,

Good luck! I hope it goes well!
The feeling you describe sounds familiar to me - I think when people have too much to cope with, anxiety attaches to other things, things we used to cope with. For instance, I used to travel a lot but over the last year or more, travel has come to be associated with great sadness and anxiety as I went to visit someone who was sick and dying. Now I find even a day trip to do something nice brings back some of the negative feelings.
That's oversimplifying, there were other things going on over a period of time, but you get the idea. When we experience it, it doesn't seem logical but if you look back at what caused it, there is a logic there.
I think you are doing the best thing - taking matters in hand and going out to work, taking control of finances, seeing friends and so on.
Once again - hope today goes well!

learning_to_drive

It all went pretty well, I used some motivational techniques to mentally congratulate myself for getting out of bed / getting dressed and getting there on time! It was smaller steps that really helped me, it wasn't a bad day at all really.

Im not in Sunday now, we have some more health and safety work to do so I am in Monday before I start my shifts for proper on Wednesday night and then back in Friday night. It should be good!

Positive, but I have to be kind to myself, need to sort my car out, as that is one expense that I really can do without, I cant be without a car for work purposes, but I can get a banger.

learning_to_drive

Quiet day today really, not much going on, second part of the induction tomorrow, stil a bit nervy but I think that's because of the newness, not necessarily because of the depression / angst or whatever. Once I get into the routine I'll be absolutely fine, I shouldn't expect miracle results overnight, I have been a high performing individual in the past, there is no reason why I cannot be one in the future. But at the minute, me being high performing is "L" in the alphabet, I'm currently at "A" so I have to go via B etc to get there.

Every day, a step along the way, I need congratulate myself for the basic things that I have done, and focus on getting better.

Debts wise, will give Black Horse a call tomorrow and explain that I'm struggling to afford the repayments, ditto with Mint, I have a £50 agreement with them that I wont be able to pay this month because of shortages of cash. I've not had a full months money since September, so I've done well to keep things going I think, I have to be a lot smarter with my money.

learning_to_drive

Ok guys, it all went rather well today, impressive, hopefully I should settle in quite well and be able to move on with my life. I have a counselling session on Wednesday evening, its my first session, initial assesment to determine where I go from here.

With regard to the debt, the situation is pretty chronic, going to be unable to clear the DDs this month so I have to ring the bank (they will ring me as I sent them an e-message today) to sort out an overdraft increase.

Its not something I want to do, its really not something that I want to do, but I cant afford to pay my DD's (phone, internet etc) so the increase is the only option. Sadly the problem has been that I haven't had a full months pay since September but the same outgoings in terms of Direct Debits. I could do with a couple of months' grace to get myself sorted so that I can start to overpay, I've had my LBM but I dont have any cash to throw at debts .

Going to give CCCS a call tomorrow, just to see what they think, I mean I want to sort out my finances, however obviously at the minute it's hard to do anything with the reduced incomings and the same outgoings, potentially it could help speaking to CCCS to see what the options are. Not only that but I can actually work for money to use on debts instead of just aimlessly chucking it at the overdraft only to max it all out again.

safeashouses

Good luck with all that.

I suffer from panic attacks so I really relate to how you feel - stress just makes it all worse doesn't it?

Definitely speak to the CCCS for peace of mind.

learning_to_drive

Without a doubt, I appreciate that people have a lot worse problems on here than myself, but I want to be better, I am confident that this experience so young will make me a far better person. Its a viscous circle, I dont feel 100% at the minute so I cant work my nuts off to get loads of money to pay my debts off so I have to manage them better without incurring charges etc.