Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

rdchick

Ahh I'm no longer the youngest! (I'm 23!) xxx

pixo

At least i'm not to far behind.. that makes me feel slighly better

rdchick

Nah you're fine xxx

dizsiebubba

I'm only just 24 x

74jax

eleanor73 wrote: »

Oh my goodness I feel 100% the same apart from my Mum knows how I feel but I almost can't bring myself to REALLY tell her because I don't want her to hate him. I also hate any kind of pity so although my mates all know I just do the brave face thing and say 'well if he hasn't done it by April then I'm off' stuff. They all know that deep down I'm struggling and try to help but also they know how proud I am so don't push too hard. It's already hard because I already did the 'if it's not by NYE 2011 then I'm off' so I already feel like a massive mug.
I agree with all the stuff about it knocking your confidence. I just hate it and I don't know if I can do it til April. I don't know if I can live this lie where I pretend to be happy because I am not. He was moaning because I don't do enough around the house (I don't) and I felt like saying that I don't feel like a normal 31yr old woman who may have pride in her house, maybe she will have bought her own house, maybe her kids live in it. I sometimes feel like I have a bit of a housmate.

I totally understand your feelings on everything but doesn't it scare you that he'll feel he has to propose? Because I feel like if mine does it will because I've basically told him to. My mates say that some men will always need a massive kick up the bum so I shouldn't worry about that?

No one thinks you are a mug for staying past NY with some one you love. I know when I made the decision to end it my friends could not understand I would a very happy relationship which was brill in every way, JUST because he would not propose. But it was not 'happy' and 'brill in every way' because every so often I was made to feel I was not good enough to marry, then that every so often became every other week.....and so on. For me, I realised I wanted to marry him, and if he did not want to marry me (or anyone) then I loved him so much he deserved to be with someone the same as him, and I desrved to have someone who wanted to marry me.

When I asked him to marry me and he said no, omg I can not describe how that felt, we talked, he was happy how we were blah blah blah..... he said he would not marry me before living together and I said I wanted to be married first. So I took a huge gamble. He moved in with me. I gave it a year, if no proposal I was not giving up another year.

I think you should wait til April, but use these two months to decide if you would wait til Christmas if he said he would know by then, I know people on here are all positive and it WILL happen, and god I hope each and every one of you do get what you want, but every now and again,like me, someone has had enough, someone feels worse with every day that goes by, and thats not fun anymore.

If it had not worked out with me I would have been the bigger mug, giving 1extra year to waiting.

Your oh knows about April, he was the one who said it, I would wait and see. And we are all behind you:A

rdchick

74jax wrote: »

No one thinks you are a mug for staying past NY with some one you love. I know when I made the decision to end it my friends could not understand I would a very happy relationship which was brill in every way, JUST because he would not propose. But it was not 'happy' and 'brill in every way' because every so often I was made to feel I was not good enough to marry, then that every so often became every other week.....and so on. For me, I realised I wanted to marry him, and if he did not want to marry me (or anyone) then I loved him so much he deserved to be with someone the same as him, and I desrved to have someone who wanted to marry me.

When I asked him to marry me and he said no, omg I can not describe how that felt, we talked, he was happy how we were blah blah blah..... he said he would not marry me before living together and I said I wanted to be married first. So I took a huge gamble. He moved in with me. I gave it a year, if no proposal I was not giving up another year.

I think you should wait til April, but use these two months to decide if you would wait til Christmas if he said he would know by then, I know people on here are all positive and it WILL happen, and god I hope each and every one of you do get what you want, but every now and again,like me, someone has had enough, someone feels worse with every day that goes by, and thats not fun anymore.

If it had not worked out with me I would have been the bigger mug, giving 1extra year to waiting.

Your oh knows about April, he was the one who said it, I would wait and see. And we are all behind you:A

I agree, you don't deserve to feel unhappy just to keep him happy (something I need to learn).


Big hugs

xxx

AsknAnswer2

Well the last time I almost asked him was years ago. I decided to take the bull by the horns and I proposed last night, ring and all. I dithered over whether or not to do it and decided if I didn't do it, I'd probably regret it and wonder what the answer would have been, so I did it. I made sure it was romantic as he loves romance, and I told him how I felt about him and our relationship. I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for and am absolutely gutted. I'm glad he was upfront because I don't want him to say yes just because it's what I want - I want him to say it because it's what he wants too. But I won't lie and hide my upest either.

dizsiebubba

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Well the last time I almost asked him was years ago. I decided to take the bull by the horns and I proposed last night, ring and all. I dithered over whether or not to do it and decided if I didn't do it, I'd probably regret it and wonder what the answer would have been, so I did it. I made sure it was romantic as he loves romance, and I told him how I felt about him and our relationship. I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for and am absolutely gutted. I'm glad he was upfront because I don't want him to say yes just because it's what I want - I want him to say it because it's what he wants too. But I won't lie and hide my upest either.

So what did he say then? What is his reasoning? x

rdchick

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Well the last time I almost asked him was years ago. I decided to take the bull by the horns and I proposed last night, ring and all. I dithered over whether or not to do it and decided if I didn't do it, I'd probably regret it and wonder what the answer would have been, so I did it. I made sure it was romantic as he loves romance, and I told him how I felt about him and our relationship. I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for and am absolutely gutted. I'm glad he was upfront because I don't want him to say yes just because it's what I want - I want him to say it because it's what he wants too. But I won't lie and hide my upest either.

Aww bless you, that sucks Did he say why he couldn't?

xxx

AllyS

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Well the last time I almost asked him was years ago. I decided to take the bull by the horns and I proposed last night, ring and all. I dithered over whether or not to do it and decided if I didn't do it, I'd probably regret it and wonder what the answer would have been, so I did it. I made sure it was romantic as he loves romance, and I told him how I felt about him and our relationship. I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for and am absolutely gutted. I'm glad he was upfront because I don't want him to say yes just because it's what I want - I want him to say it because it's what he wants too. But I won't lie and hide my upest either.

Wow! you brave girly, I am so so sorry it did not work out, what happens now?

P.s. I won't even ask mine, he has already told me that he would say no, he wants to do in his own time at his own speed, so although I have never officially asked him, mainly cause he has already told me the answer, I know a little how you feel xx