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Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!
Comments
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lil_miss_insanity wrote: »I was watching The Hotel last night and there was a couple who were together 9 years before married, and he said "Don't worry I won't keep you waiting *that* long". I gave him a look and said "Damn right you won't, or I'll find someone that needs a visa";) :rotfl:
I don't think I'd consider leaving him, as I'd rather have him on his terms than not have him at all. Our relationship is like I'm already his wife (or mother, depending how you look at it!) as we live together, have rabbits, plus he relies on me for all practical stuff (rent, bills etc in my name). I just have to remember that he's still young so I'm a couple of years ahead of him. Sucks, though.
Haha well that's something Lil miss!
I also think that with my BF he is 30 next year, and he is dreading it... says he doesn't want to get old...
so I am thinking is this why he doesn't want to get engaged? because then it's another thing he's doing that's grown up! But a house is rather grown up... I dunno.. just making excuses... xxxLife is too short not to love what you do.0 -
We've made it to 1000 posts and 50 pages ladies. Not sure if that is a good or a bad thing :rotfl: but at least we have something to congratulate each other for today! :T
Horray!!
It is a rather somber mood here today... all of our disappointments and bad news! if only they knew! :rotfl:Life is too short not to love what you do.0 -
So I F#cking HATE valentines. I ticked every box when it comes to what a boyfriend should do but I am so gutted...this is what happened....
We were in a restaurant and I'd had a few drinks and I was talking to bf about how I had been talking to my best mate about how I think Weddings can be fab and cheap and also fab and expensive eg how he (bf) is very fussy about what he wears so why shouldn't his suit cost as much as my dress (as she had been saying her fiance's suit was from primark when her dress was £1K!). Basically I was saying that if we want certain things why shouldn't we have them etc etc (before that sounds spoilt and demanding we have the savings and can do that). Any way he just went V quiet and looked down and carried on eating. I said 'I'll stop talking about it now' and he said 'you don't have to stop talking about it' and it just went quiet.
I genuinely don't think he has any plan to propose to me before April so shouldn't I just say something now and stop me wasting the next 2 months. I mean if I split up with him now (God I can't believe I'm writing this) by April I will start to be getting over it but if I leave it til April I will have to start then. Does that make sense???
Oh eleanorI don't know what to say. What exactly were the circumstances when he said April? Was he drunk? Do you think he'll remember that he said it? I can't remember what you said now, was it you that he said that too or a friend of yours? If it was a friend, will he know that the friend has told you?
If he said it when drunk my instinct is that he was just saying it as some arbitrary future date, and probably hasn't even thought about it since. In which case I really agree with jtr...Eleanor, it does.
Does he know about the April deadline? Part of me thinks if he doesn't then you NEED to tell him, it's a bit like missing a deadline at work and having your boss going nuts....you can't possibly meet it if you don't know about it.
If he does then I think you need to hold fire, as hard as that is, and just wait it out. I am almost in a similar position, if it hasn't happened by the time we get back from Kenya (or he hasn't explained why) then I think I will have a tough decision to make. At the moment I don't see him doing it despite all the conversations but I have to give him benefit of the doubt one last time.......
If you are 100% sure that you can't carry on with the relationship if it doesn't happen in April then I think he needs to know your plans. It's only fair. He might have no idea and if that's the case, you have to give him chance to reflect on the situation and his options and then it's up to him to decide whether or not to rectify it.
I guess there are two ways you could do it. One would be to just bring it up with him, calmly, and just say something like "when you said last year that you would propose to me in April, did you actually mean it? because I really need to know". Or, if he originally said it to a friend of yours and if that friend is a good friend who you can turn to, get them to meet him. They could ask him the same question, make sure that he knows you're aware of what he said, and make him aware that you're thinking of calling it a day if he doesn't follow through on his promise. They could even make out that you don't know about them telling him, that they're just trying to give him a heads up, if that would make it easier.0 -
AsknAnswer2 wrote: »Well the last time I almost asked him was years ago. I decided to take the bull by the horns and I proposed last night, ring and all. I dithered over whether or not to do it and decided if I didn't do it, I'd probably regret it and wonder what the answer would have been, so I did it. I made sure it was romantic as he loves romance, and I told him how I felt about him and our relationship. I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for and am absolutely gutted. I'm glad he was upfront because I don't want him to say yes just because it's what I want - I want him to say it because it's what he wants too. But I won't lie and hide my upest either.
I really don't know what to say to this either! That was so brave of you, well done for having the guts to do that, it must have been terrifying. I remember you said before that you don't live with your OH and that he hardly ever stays over. When you talked last night, did you mention either of those things? It may be that he isn't ready for marriage, and maybe neither of you want to live together before being married, but perhaps he could compromise by staying over more often or increasing the level of commitment in some other way? Maybe it's partly the fact that in your case, marriage would change your lives much more that it would for those of us who already live with our partners?
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I got the job!!! Oh my gosh ladies, I got it! I can't believe it. I'm shaking so much, finally some good news and something to look forward to!0
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I got the job!!! Oh my gosh ladies, I got it! I can't believe it. I'm shaking so much, finally some good news and something to look forward to!
Congratulations!:j:beer::D:T"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion LannisterMarried my best friend 1st November 2014Loose = the opposite of tight (eg "These trousers feel a little loose")Lose = the opposite of find/gain (eg "I'm going to lose weight this year")0 -
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Thank you so much. I can't stop reading through the job spec, I'm so excited. Now I just need to get my 2:1 at uni without messing up :rotfl:0
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