Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

daisiegg

In other news, welcome to the thread AsknAnswer2! I say that like I'm an old hand but I'm pretty new myself. As someone else said, I hope you don't stay here too long!

xazvia

I thought marriage was so last year?? Like, something the Victorians used to do.

eleanor73

jtr2803 wrote: »

The one I saw and fell is love with is £550, I actually didn't think that was too excessive until I read your post!!!

:rotfl:

I'm not even going there.......

eleanor73

xazvia wrote: »

I thought marriage was so last year?? Like, something the Victorians used to do.

Make your mind up-either last year (2011) or when queen Victoria was on the throne (1819-1901)? They are pretty different periods of time:rotfl:;)

White_Sapphire

xazvia wrote: »

I thought marriage was so last year?? Like, something the Victorians used to do.

*delurks*

:huh:
This leaves me speechless.

Hi to all ladies waiting for a proposal, hope you're all well!

x

*relurks*

eleanor73

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Well, I'm another new addition to this thread.

Been with OH for about 5 years. We've talked about it, we've discussed what kind of wedding we'd have (small and intimate) and he's hinted that it will happen, even saying it's not if, it's when. But then he'll say something else entirely such as "If I'm going to get married it will be to you", which isn't really comforting! We don't live together, he hardly ever stays over and I'm getting mightily ticked off! I think I might feel a bit better if he showed at least some level of commitment.

If I raise the subject, he'll sometimes discuss it but sometimes change it. I was all ready to ask him once but before I did and before he knew anything about it, he blurted out that he wasn't ready for marriage. I felt a complete idiot and it's put me off asking again. I don't know how I'd react to be honest, if he said no.

Out of my nieces and newphews one is engaged and two are married with children. He doesn't like social events (he has issues with being in crowds) so doesn't come to the weddings, which is sooo upsetting because I get 'I see you're still not married' as well as 'Why isn't he here'. It was so bad that I didn't even go to one of the weddings as I just couldn't deal with the single jibes or the jokes at my expense. I know they probably don't realise that it hurts as much as it does but crikey if they keep banging on about it and they aren't even in the relationship, surely they must have an inkling that I am sick of waiting too and that their jokes are inappropriate.

I've always been pretty much my own woman so I brush it off to others on the outside, such as coworkers, or - I've gone so far as to say to people that I'm not that bothered about marriage just to shut them up because I'm sick of hearing it. After Birthdays, Valentines, Christmas or holidays together, I get asked by people to show them my hand. I think to some extent, I've even told myseld that I'm just not bothered but it's all front. I am bothered and I want a marriage - with him.

Unfortunately I can see us seperating if it doesn't happen soon. I know how selfish that others might feel that is but I think I've spent enough time being selfless so I'm entitled to be selfish for a change. Aferall, I can only spend so much time analysing our relationship when laying in my bed at night, before it drives me insane.

Phew! I really needed to get that off my chest.

I'm glad you have found us and that you can have a big old rant anytime here. I feel for you-is there a reason you don't live together? Has your partner been in a relationship before you? It must be really difficult to go to weddings without him and I understand he doesn't like crowds etc but have you told him how happy it would make you feel to have him by your side?
My instinct is that you have a really good chat with him and let him know you love him and that you are serious about your relationship but if he doesn't start to act in the same way you will find someone else who does (you don't have to phrase it quite like that-as you may have seen from my previous posts I am blunt and feisty and my poor bf has a right old time of it!!)

In regards to me he came back from his weekend and brought pressies and kept giving me hugs and apologised for us having the worst, most rubbish January ever and said 'we will have a brilliant year'. I felt like saying-'we'll only have a brilliant year if I get a flippin ring on my finger' but obvs I didn't. So things are good again and hopefully it will stay like that.

daisiegg

As for me, I am feeling slightly disappointed. I may have mentioned that OH has booked for us to go away for a few days over Valentine's Day, and won't tell me where we're going. He has NEVER surprised me like that before - we go away lots and have done lots of romantic trips etc but I am always involved in the planning.

daisiegg

I keep saying little comments like "I'm looking forward to it" and "I'm really excited" and last night he turned to me and said very seriously "Don't get too excited - it's really nothing special". I just knew from the look he was giving me was that that was code for "No, I'm not going to propose when we're away" - he wouldn't want me to get my hopes up and be disappointed. Boo

daisiegg

So sorry about posting my posts in weird little fragmented sections - my laptop is an idiot and will only let me post a few lines at a time! no idea why!

daisiegg

eleanor, that's good news! see, you had nothing to worry about. Try to focus on having a good year (I think lots of people have had rubbish Januaries...me included...and mine is spreading into a rubbish February but that's a different story) and hopefully the ring will come along with that