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Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!
Comments
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lil_miss_insanity wrote: »I sometimes worry that my OH thinks he would have to have the money to buy a "nice" ring first. He nearly skinted himself buying me a diamond necklace on our first Christmas. :eek:
I don't know if it worked, but I've tried hinting that I really don't like expensive jewellery - that I'd always rather have sparkles that didn't cost the earth, so I wouldn't be terrified of losing/breaking it/getting it nicked. Hopefully he knows that now. A haribo ring would do me just fine! :rotfl:
Well I feel bad at the moment for this reason.... when my OH asked me for ideas, I sent him a pic of my fave ring as an example. The ring costs £350.00 but this is much more than I would actually really want him to spend... I know as rings go, this is not even that expensive but like some of you have already said, I'd be happy with a much cheaper one - it's just the meaning of wearing it than the actual ring itself...
I caught him looking at the jewellery website the other day so i think that when he does get me one it will be the exact one!!
It's not that we cant afford it but still, I just feel bad that he might think I EXPECT him to pay that much.... although I guess deep down I'm secretly thrilled that he would get it for me....0 -
Well, I'm another new addition to this thread.
Been with OH for about 5 years. We've talked about it, we've discussed what kind of wedding we'd have (small and intimate) and he's hinted that it will happen, even saying it's not if, it's when. But then he'll say something else entirely such as "If I'm going to get married it will be to you", which isn't really comforting! We don't live together, he hardly ever stays over and I'm getting mightily ticked off! I think I might feel a bit better if he showed at least some level of commitment.
If I raise the subject, he'll sometimes discuss it but sometimes change it. I was all ready to ask him once but before I did and before he knew anything about it, he blurted out that he wasn't ready for marriage. I felt a complete idiot and it's put me off asking again. I don't know how I'd react to be honest, if he said no.
Out of my nieces and newphews one is engaged and two are married with children. He doesn't like social events (he has issues with being in crowds) so doesn't come to the weddings, which is sooo upsetting because I get 'I see you're still not married' as well as 'Why isn't he here'. It was so bad that I didn't even go to one of the weddings as I just couldn't deal with the single jibes or the jokes at my expense. I know they probably don't realise that it hurts as much as it does but crikey if they keep banging on about it and they aren't even in the relationship, surely they must have an inkling that I am sick of waiting too and that their jokes are inappropriate.
I've always been pretty much my own woman so I brush it off to others on the outside, such as coworkers, or - I've gone so far as to say to people that I'm not that bothered about marriage just to shut them up because I'm sick of hearing it. After Birthdays, Valentines, Christmas or holidays together, I get asked by people to show them my hand. I think to some extent, I've even told myseld that I'm just not bothered but it's all front. I am bothered and I want a marriage - with him.
Unfortunately I can see us seperating if it doesn't happen soon. I know how selfish that others might feel that is but I think I've spent enough time being selfless so I'm entitled to be selfish for a change. Aferall, I can only spend so much time analysing our relationship when laying in my bed at night, before it drives me insane.
Phew! I really needed to get that off my chest.0 -
Well I feel bad at the moment for this reason.... when my OH asked me for ideas, I sent him a pic of my fave ring as an example. The ring costs £350.00 but this is much more than I would actually really want him to spend...
The one I saw and fell is love with is £550, I actually didn't think that was too excessive until I read your post!!!
:rotfl:
Dammit - I was going to post a link to the website but it's undoing maintenance, rahhh :mad:
Very happily married on 10th April 2013
Spero Meliora
Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
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Welcome AsknAnswer!! Lets hope you're not on this thread too long (in the nicest possible way!)
There's plenty of people on here who will understand exactly how youre feeling so feel free to share and vent!!
Hope OH sees sense soon!! x0 -
AsknAnswer2 wrote: »Well, I'm another new addition to this thread.
Been with OH for about 5 years. We've talked about it, we've discussed what kind of wedding we'd have (small and intimate) and he's hinted that it will happen, even saying it's not if, it's when. But then he'll say something else entirely such as "If I'm going to get married it will be to you", which isn't really comforting! We don't live together, he hardly ever stays over and I'm getting mightily ticked off! I think I might feel a bit better if he showed at least some level of commitment.
If I raise the subject, he'll sometimes discuss it but sometimes change it. I was all ready to ask him once but before I did and before he knew anything about it, he blurted out that he wasn't ready for marriage. I felt a complete idiot and it's put me off asking again. I don't know how I'd react to be honest, if he said no.
Out of my nieces and newphews one is engaged and two are married with children. He doesn't like social events (he has issues with being in crowds) so doesn't come to the weddings, which is sooo upsetting because I get 'I see you're still not married' as well as 'Why isn't he here'. It was so bad that I didn't even go to one of the weddings as I just couldn't deal with the single jibes or the jokes at my expense. I know they probably don't realise that it hurts as much as it does but crikey if they keep banging on about it and they aren't even in the relationship, surely they must have an inkling that I am sick of waiting too and that their jokes are inappropriate.
I've always been pretty much my own woman so I brush it off to others on the outside, such as coworkers, or - I've gone so far as to say to people that I'm not that bothered about marriage just to shut them up because I'm sick of hearing it. After Birthdays, Valentines, Christmas or holidays together, I get asked by people to show them my hand. I think to some extent, I've even told myseld that I'm just not bothered but it's all front. I am bothered and I want a marriage - with him.
Unfortunately I can see us seperating if it doesn't happen soon. I know how selfish that others might feel that is but I think I've spent enough time being selfless so I'm entitled to be selfish for a change. Aferall, I can only spend so much time analysing our relationship when laying in my bed at night, before it drives me insane.
Phew! I really needed to get that off my chest.
You can see by the number of posts on this thread that you really aren't alone. I have the people grabbing my hand stuff and making gags about the fact he 'hasn't done it yet then'.....durrr, obviously not! You aren't the only one who has said they would leave if it doesn't happen either (I'm one of those who says the same). Five years is a long time to be with someone without some form of commitment, I am coming up to four years and it's driving me nuts but we do live together.
Very happily married on 10th April 2013
Spero Meliora
Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
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The one I saw and fell is love with is £550, I actually didn't think that was too excessive until I read your post!!!
:rotfl:
Dammit - I was going to post a link to the website but it's undoing maintenance, rahhh :mad:
You've made me feel better alreadymy 1st engagemet ring was about £300 and friends were like 'oh he really should have spent more than that' but to me it's quite a lot of money, and still is today despite me and OH being much better off than I was the first time round....
think its the thrifty bargain hunter in me!!!! I only ever shop in charity shops or on ebay so a lovely ring would be an absolute luxury!!!!!!!!0 -
I would feel the same and probably have a sulk but my instinct is that it is probably unrelated?? Or am I just being overly optimistic (which I always am when it is about other relationships!!)
Do you have totally seperate money cos if you don't then he prob should have mentioned it though!
I think it probably is unrelated to be fair, I am sure he has more than enough spare PC bits lying around to get his money back! We have separate finances because I prefer it that way, I would forever be worrying I was spending 'his' money, he, on the other hand, couldn't care less, I know I'm weird!!
I've had a weird weekend. He was away and I don't think it fell at the right time for me when we had such a difficult weekend last weekend. There was nothing he could do as it had been booked for ages but I almost feel like it could go either way. He could have missed me loads and it will make him realise what he has got or he could be fine and might start doubting things. I think I am being a bit paranoid again. I wish I was a boy sometimes. They analyse nothing-well mine doesn't anyway! He is probably asleep with a pizza on his lap where I'm a bag of nerves!!
Faith - maybve there's a way to sound him out without scaring him? How old is he?
:rotfl:The thing is, you are SOOOOOO right, seriously a thought pops in their head and then, *!!!!!!* it's gone again, they think about nothing except what is literally right in front of them, I just don't get it at all!
Very happily married on 10th April 2013
Spero Meliora
Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
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You've made me feel better already
my 1st engagemet ring was about £300 and friends were like 'oh he really should have spent more than that' but to me it's quite a lot of money, and still is today despite me and OH being much better off than I was the first time round....
think its the thrifty bargain hunter in me!!!! I only ever shop in charity shops or on ebay so a lovely ring would be an absolute luxury!!!!!!!!
how on earth would your friends know how much your ring cost. I think their comments were very rude.Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....0 -
You've made me feel better already
my 1st engagemet ring was about £300 and friends were like 'oh he really should have spent more than that' but to me it's quite a lot of money, and still is today despite me and OH being much better off than I was the first time round....
think its the thrifty bargain hunter in me!!!! I only ever shop in charity shops or on ebay so a lovely ring would be an absolute luxury!!!!!!!!
I am on my phone at the moment, I will reply properly tomorrow, but just wanted to say my first engagement ring was £70 and we thought it was really expensive :rotfl: I still have it 16 years later its all battered and bruised.
I have seen and shown OH rings from £ 250 - £500. I know he wants to get me a more expensive ring, but I said the same I would be so so scared of losing it. i would rather he stuck around the £200- £300 mark. Expensive rings are beautiful but I am so clumsy and forgetful at times!
Welcome to the lovely new people xx0 -
Eeek, when we're in jewellery shops and I point out rings that cost around £2,000 OH says "that's too cheap for an engagement ring" and points out the more expensive ones! I think if he realised I'd be happy with one that cost £50 from Argos if it meant we were getting married, he'd have done it ages ago!0
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