Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

eleanor73

daisiegg wrote: »

Oh no eleanor I hope things get better

Hadley1 wrote: »

Me too - have everything crossed for you.

AllyS wrote: »

:( so sorry Eleanor, hope you are ok xx

Things are very quiet here, I haven't mentioned anything and niether has he, I am pretty sure that he has no plans for valentines day, because his brother and nephew were due to come and stay, they have cancelled but I think the fact that they were going to come rules that day out. Oh well always the summer, I always thought that he would do a beach proposal, we live near the beach and I love going, but I do not go on cold days as I hate that biting wind you get off the sea. Brrrrr

Maybe he got them to cancel? I am a nightmare-sorry! Always looking for good signs in other people's lives!

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. It feels better already. We were really honest and it seems like there's a bit of spark back - I think we scared each other at how close we got to it all going to pot! I hope that things carry on like this as before Christmas we'd never argued, always laughed and generally were 'that couple' who irritates our mates cos we get on so well. As I said lets see what the next few months bring...

Hadley1

Maybe as you say, things just need to be said and sorted. Now you've been honest with each other - you can move forward. (I see good things too).

AllyS

eleanor73 wrote: »

Maybe he got them to cancel? I am a nightmare-sorry! Always looking for good signs in other people's lives!

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. It feels better already. We were really honest and it seems like there's a bit of spark back - I think we scared each other at how close we got to it all going to pot! I hope that things carry on like this as before Christmas we'd never argued, always laughed and generally were 'that couple' who irritates our mates cos we get on so well. As I said lets see what the next few months bring...

Unless it is a massive set up - and he really is not that thoughtful normal he didn't get them to cancel as I was with him when he called to check.

Glad things are starting to clear for you guys again, sounds like you are getting the romance back and that is great news

OH best friend proposed to his girlfriend altho the circumstances are not of great love, affection or any of the reasons I want my OH to propose for, still annoyingly frustrating and bought all the thoughts flooding back, been doing so well in the last week too!

eleanor73

AllyS wrote: »

OH best friend proposed to his girlfriend altho the circumstances are not of great love, affection or any of the reasons I want my OH to propose for, still annoyingly frustrating and bought all the thoughts flooding back, been doing so well in the last week too!

I know how you feel-anything sets me off. My best mate is getting married in April and I am genuinely not jealous but her fb status updates are driving me MAD:mad: It's all 11 weeks and 3 days bla bla bla grrrr... & everyone is having babies. People 10 years below me at school are having babies. I mean I don't want to be them but I want to feel happier about things and happier about what I've got to look forward to and frankly it's more than frustrating not even knowing what that is!! It's like I need to know if it's going to happen in April but of course I can't ask and I just need to shut up and wait. It'll either be fiance-dom or singledom! Single at nearly 32...not what I imagined but oh well!! Lets just hope that doesn't happen. Ally - did your partner tell you about his best mate or did you find out another way?

G51shopaholic

My partner and I have been together for over 26yrs. Not married but happy the way we are. He did propose to me after we'd been dating for 6mths. I was 18 and he was 23 at the time but I said NO.

Roll on 26yrs - two kids - again proposal's each time I was pregnant - again answer was NO i didn't want to be a fat pregnant bride.

I've also been fighting Breast Cancer for 4yrs and he said did i want to get married now - I said if i would'nt get married when i was pregnant why would I do it just cause he thought i was dying!!

I also must say that at the mear mention of the word "marriage or weddings" he goes chalk white and I swear he'd be one of these grooms that pass out at the alter!!

The funny thing is I reminded him that's it's a leap year and that if i proposed to him on valentines day, and if he says no, then he has to buy me something......I feel I have to mention at this point I LOVE LEGO!!! So he's bought me the new VW Transporter 1960/70's red van (I also love these as well).

I have spend the last few days building it - I love him to pieces and a little piece of paper won't change that.

We have friends who have been married/divorced/remarried-again divorced so why waste £15,000++++ on one "special" day.

Our nephew & his fiancee - both 24 are trying to find a venue for their wedding but cant get anywhere with a vacant saturday and their not getting married till 2014!!! And when I looked at the brochures the prices near gave me a heart-attack!!!

£60 a head for a meal + £25 for drinks and that's the cheapest menu!!!

Talk about a licence to print money or what

daisiegg

G51shopaholic...glad you are happily unmarried...but not quite sure why you've posted that here?

74jax

daisiegg wrote: »

G51shopaholic...glad you are happily unmarried...but not quite sure why you've posted that here?

Pleased it wasn't just me confused.

G51 I am also confused with if you ask him and he says no you get a present? When he has asked three times and you have said no.

minerva_windsong

*also slightly confused*

I know I wheel this out a lot, but a wedding doesn't have to be expensive - sometimes it just gets like that because of how many people you want (or in mine and OH's case have to have) there, so that affects the size of your venue and cost of food etc. You can quite easily get married for £100 or so if you don't care about dresses and receptions and any of that lark. And the piece of paper may well change some things - maybe not how you feel about each other (or at least, hopefully in a good way if it does!) but the legal stuff, like being each other's next of kin or inheritances

eleanor73 wrote: »

My best mate is getting married in April and I am genuinely not jealous but her fb status updates are driving me MAD:mad: It's all 11 weeks and 3 days bla bla bla grrrr...

People who do that on Facebook really get my goat. It'd be different if it was something that came up in a face-to-face conversation, but something about putting it on Facebook just feels a bit 'look at me and my fabulous amazing life!'

Not that I'm saying your friend's doing that Eleanor of course, just that it can feel like there's that element to it. I get that people are excited but it just seems like people who were really bothered, ie family and close friends, would be asking about it directly, whereas with Facebook a lot of it's casual acquaintances or people you don't see much of for whatever reason and therefore people telling you it's x amount of time til their wedding or their due date or whatever just feels a bit like, "If I wanted to know I'd ask".

/rant

In other news, we have booked Malta for the end of April Just trying not to get my hopes up now...

daisiegg

Ooooh Malta!!! Is it ok for everyone else on the thread to get our hopes up on your behalf?

jtr2803

Eleanor I am sorry to hear about your recent problems, I hope that they can be resolved? We had a bit of a rough patch last June (although he probably wouldn't have realised!), I just felt like we were at each others throats and I'd been stressed with exams and was still hurting a bit that he hadn't proposed on holiday and I remember thinking 'is this it? Is this how our relationship is going to be forever?', fortunately it wasn't and we got through it!

Ally you seem like you are doing really well! Try to rationalise that when your OH proposes it will be for all the of the RIGHT reasons xx

Minerva, yay to Malta!! I bet that will come round quickly too :j
Well still no news here obviously and still feeling like I can't really be bothered :rotfl:, I worked out I want to BE married, I just don't want to GET married, I am weird aren't i?! Feels nice to say we are going on holiday next month at last