Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

verandi

AllyS wrote: »

..... Also I think 30's seem really old until you are in your 30's then the realise that you are still a stupid kid at heart, but people take you more seriously because you are in your 30's, best of both worlds in my opinion :rotfl:I am loving my 30's easily the best decade yet, I have no idea what I was stressing out about all those years ago

So when does this best of both worlds mindset start then, cos I am a month in to 30 and I'm still not feeling it yet! I had to tick one of those boxes on questionnaires the other day for the first time since my birthday and nearly cried when I realised I had to tick the box for 30-39

AllyS wrote: »

Hi all

As I said before thank you very much for all support and hugs, really appreciate it.

Ok, we spoke all day yesterday, he had the day off work (long story but nothing to do with us) and I said to him if marriage isn't an issue why doesn't he marry me anyway and he said where has this come from we spoke loads, but he kept saying that if he did propose it wouldn't be a surprise because he knows that I think about marriage everyday even if I don't speak about it. He knows that it is very important to me. We kept going around in circles, so I gave up. I saw your messages and was reminded about the engagement ring incident, so I asked him about it and he said I do think about marrying you and as we have such different tastes in rings, I wanted to make sure that I could find a ring that we both like, and he kept saying to me you are not understanding what I am trying to say - yup because you are not explaining yourself very well :mad:

Anyway in the end I said am I being completely thick or are you being a complete a** to me? and he said both! I was not listening to what he was trying to say to me and he had been an a** by trying to make out that marrying me did not mean anything to him. He said 'just think about what I am saying' - confused much, yup I was!! I worked it out in the end tho, I think, basically he is not ready to marry me quite yet, but yes he thinks about it more than I realise and he isn't discussing any of it because when he does propose he wants it to be a complete surprise!! :rotfl::mad: I am not sure if I want to laugh or cry!! What a douche bag!!

I did do some thinking yesterday though. The whole marriage thing still drives me insane to be honest, and I would dearly love to marry him tomorrow, but when it does happen, maybe it will be even more amazing, because I have waited Who b***dy knows!! Marriage is important to me, but I don't want to marry just anyone, I want to marry him, so if we never get married, I will accept it (I think!)

Thanks again x

I'm really glad to hear you talked about things and are getting back on track. I can't work out whether by him saying "just think about what I'm saying" he was trying to hint at you, or whether he was saying it and meaning just try and see it from his point of view. Only you will be able to tell I suppose. I hope it was the first though, and he wants you to drop it for a while so he can think he's suprising you

And what is it with men and thinking the proposal has to be a massive suprise. They must think that just because we want to get married, we are constantly expecting a proposal every second of every day. I want to get married to my OH, and yes I think about it every day. But that doesn't mean I'm expecting him to propose any time soon, in fact I'm certain he won't for ages yet, probably not for at least another year unfortunately. If he did do it, it would be the biggest suprise of my life. Knowing that someone could want to spend the rest of their life with me would be the biggest suprise :rotfl: The fact it was him would be what made it special. I really hate the thought of him worrying that he had to do some massive elaborate proposal. It's just not important to me.

mazy_m wrote: »

..... I think in honesty i'm feeling a little lost as we've been going out five years and he doesn't take any control and I think I wanted him to propose to show that he was willing to take control for once and that's why i'm finding it so hard.... My friends and family that are close to my age have for the last few years all had babies, brought houses or got married and for ages it didn't bother me but now i'm feeling a bit left out!! mwah Maz xx

I wonder if maybe your OH was feeling a bit too pressured? From reading your previous post my first thoughts were wow, that is alot of hinting! That's not a criticism by the way, hope it won't come across that way. I don't know your OH of course but I suppose some men could feel a bit overwhelmed and maybe almost intimidated by the pressure to propose. Do you think that might have a bit to do with it?

And don't worry you're not the only one who compares themself to friends and family. I am the same, I feel incredibly left behind, especially still being at uni and not even starting my career yet . Babies seem to be appearing from friends left right and centre lately :rotfl:

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

Valentines Day is almost upon us....I know it's a bit cheesy but I'm betting on at least one Valentines Day proposal this year....

Pleeeeeeeeeeease let it be me :rotfl: I'd take Valentine's Day. I'd take any day! :rotfl:

verandi

lil_miss_insanity wrote: »

I'm too scared to email anyone for prices, as I'm feeling silly enough as it is, but it doesn't mean I've not searched around for people whose prices are on their website already, and saved them as bookmarks! Yay for bargains, though! :T I'm glad that I'm not the only one - I was worried that even you guys would think I was insane for collecting ideas! No dresses in the wardrobe though...that would terrify my OH, and me too if I'm honest!

Lots of you seem to mention bookmarking things, do you not get scared that your OH will see the bookmarks and do a runner? :eek:

My OH bought me a gorgeous leather journal book for our anniversary last year. We saw them when we visited London once a few months before that, but didn't buy one. Looked online but they weren't for sale anywhere. For our anniversary he got the train all the way down to London and back to buy me one I haven't used it yet though and he's suggested a couple of times things I could use it for, but I really want to save it to use as maybe a wedding planner book but of course I can't tell him that yet! Hopefully one day I can dust it off and start using it lol :rotfl:

verandi

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

I know I have basically got my hopes up for the last 18 months about every holiday and occasion but realistically I didn't have any grounds for that - it was just wishful thinking!

This time has got to be the odds on favourite though surely. He's basically told me he's going to do it soon, asked for ring ideas, told me he wouldnt do it at home and although I don't know details of exactly what was said, he's spoken with his mum about it AND he knows I was disappointed that it didn't happen last holiday...
It's basically good to go right!! :rotfl:

Ps... while messing about on the internet yesterday, I may have accidentally emailed a venue (one of my fav UK places) to ask for their prices!! Does that make me a bridezilla in waiting?
Pps... glad I did, got back to me straight away, and an absolute bargain!! :T

Squirrels it really sounds like he'd have to have his head well and truly in the sand to not do it this time (either that or before then). Fingers crossed for you! I really hope you get your wish x

verandi

daisiegg wrote: »

Ohhh last night I was looking on antique jewellery websites and I found THE perfect engagement ring (I know, I know, I shouldn't have been looking...) and it is just beautiful and gorgeous and perfect but very different to everything I've ever pointed out to OH in jewellery shop windows so now I am thinking that even if he does propose I will feel secretly a tiny bit disappointed because it won't be THIS ring and and and and and...

I AM INSANE. That is all.

Show us!

squ1rrel5

So I know that OH is taking it seriously.... he has definitely been looking at rings because when he was on Ebay the other day, I glanced over his shoulder and there was a banner advert showing lots of engagment rings (you know the type you get on the right hand side of the page, when it remembers what sites you've been looking at!)

Yippee - I'm excited now!!

We are producing a wedding brochure in work (I work for a Marketing company) so all the talk in the office is about weddings - plus we keep getting sent loads of wedding magazine and samples of different wedding services etc... It's a bit frustrating as the two girls who are working on it, well one is already happily married with children and the other is our 21 year old newbie who is nowhere near marriage....whenever I ask to look at the mags, I get the spanish inquisition about when I will be getting married and then it becomes a bit of an office joke (I am somewhat of a Bridget Jones character in work!!)

The wedding venue brochure that I enquired about arrived on my desk yesterday :rotfl: I just want OH to ask the question so I can show him, it's staying in my drawer until then!! :rotfl:

jtr2803

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

So I know that OH is taking it seriously.... he has definitely been looking at rings because when he was on Ebay the other day, I glanced over his shoulder and there was a banner advert showing lots of engagment rings (you know the type you get on the right hand side of the page, when it remembers what sites you've been looking at!)

Yippee - I'm excited now!!

We are producing a wedding brochure in work (I work for a Marketing company) so all the talk in the office is about weddings - plus we keep getting sent loads of wedding magazine and samples of different wedding services etc... It's a bit frustrating as the two girls who are working on it, well one is already happily married with children and the other is our 21 year old newbie who is nowhere near marriage....whenever I ask to look at the mags, I get the spanish inquisition about when I will be getting married and then it becomes a bit of an office joke (I am somewhat of a Bridget Jones character in work!!)

The wedding venue brochure that I enquired about arrived on my desk yesterday :rotfl: I just want OH to ask the question so I can show him, it's staying in my drawer until then!! :rotfl:

That's awesome! The number of times that silly 'things that may interest you' bar on Ebay has got me into trouble is unreal! I always have to clear cookies and delete all browsing history!

At this rate you will be officially engaged before me!

eleanor73

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

So I know that OH is taking it seriously.... he has definitely been looking at rings because when he was on Ebay the other day, I glanced over his shoulder and there was a banner advert showing lots of engagment rings (you know the type you get on the right hand side of the page, when it remembers what sites you've been looking at!)

Yippee - I'm excited now!!

We are producing a wedding brochure in work (I work for a Marketing company) so all the talk in the office is about weddings - plus we keep getting sent loads of wedding magazine and samples of different wedding services etc... It's a bit frustrating as the two girls who are working on it, well one is already happily married with children and the other is our 21 year old newbie who is nowhere near marriage....whenever I ask to look at the mags, I get the spanish inquisition about when I will be getting married and then it becomes a bit of an office joke (I am somewhat of a Bridget Jones character in work!!)

The wedding venue brochure that I enquired about arrived on my desk yesterday :rotfl: I just want OH to ask the question so I can show him, it's staying in my drawer until then!! :rotfl:

This all sounds very positive. I am definitely no where near this now. Me and bf almost split up at weekend. We have decided to work on it and try harder with each other but engagement unfortunately feels miles away. Still feel like i'll be off in April if it doesn't happen as I have just waited far too long now in my opinion!! We will see what the next few months bring.........:(

daisiegg

Oh no eleanor I hope things get better

Hadley1

Me too - have everything crossed for you.

AllyS

verandi wrote: »

Lots of you seem to mention bookmarking things, do you not get scared that your OH will see the bookmarks and do a runner? :eek:

Mine are saved on a word document on my memory stick. Be very surprised if he stumbled across it, if he did he knows I have already been looking at places anyway so not the end of the world

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

So I know that OH is taking it seriously.... he has definitely been looking at rings because when he was on Ebay the other day, I glanced over his shoulder and there was a banner advert showing lots of engagment rings (you know the type you get on the right hand side of the page, when it remembers what sites you've been looking at!)

Yipee!!!! so exciting

eleanor73 wrote: »

This all sounds very positive. I am definitely no where near this now. Me and bf almost split up at weekend. We have decided to work on it and try harder with each other but engagement unfortunately feels miles away. Still feel like i'll be off in April if it doesn't happen as I have just waited far too long now in my opinion!! We will see what the next few months bring.........:(

:( so sorry Eleanor, hope you are ok xx

Things are very quiet here, I haven't mentioned anything and niether has he, I am pretty sure that he has no plans for valentines day, because his brother and nephew were due to come and stay, they have cancelled but I think the fact that they were going to come rules that day out. Oh well always the summer, I always thought that he would do a beach proposal, we live near the beach and I love going, but I do not go on cold days as I hate that biting wind you get off the sea. Brrrrr