Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

eleanor73

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Kara and Alex's wedding in the last series - the quite 'alternative' bride and the skater groom who was still quite childish and where she was having to look after his money and stuff. I basically wanted their whole wedding (apart from the mechanical bull and having the dress she picked at Candy Anthony rather than the one he picked, as I'm way too short for long dresses!) - it's the sort of outdoorsy, chilled-out, laid-back thing that my OH and I have talked about when we do get married.

There's a clip of it on YouTube as well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejCEK1H74Wo&feature=youtu.be

Thanks for the link! I love this place but now need to get on with not thinking about it! I think this may have been a couple who are from where I live.

Me and bf had a chat yesterday. He got really drunk on Sat and got chucked out of the nightclub we go to and I basically sat him down yesterday and said that we are both 31 and that I feel he is acting like a 17 year old and if he doesn't start to be like the man I deserve I will leave (I know this is harsh but this has been coming for at least 3 months). I cried lots and he agreed and apologised and I said that he is taking me out on Friday and that we better start seeing more of each other and making more of an effort or we won't last much longer and he said he wants to make an effort (unfortunately I think he thinks I would never go). I think the reason it all came to a head was because if he is going to propose in April (or whenever) I need to know I will want to say yes as frankly after saturday I actualy hated him (grrrrr!)

I am sorry to hear that a few of you have had some negative responses to probing questions. i think some of you are amazingly patient. I think maybe I am a bit of a 'flouncer'. I am known for my impatience!!

daisiegg

eleanor, good on you for sitting OH down and having a talk! You are really brave but it sounds like he will realise how lucky he is and try to make more of an effort. I know I would be highly unimpressed if my partner was getting drunk enough to get chucked out of places. Actually the only time I've ever seen him really, really, really drunk (outside our own house - what we get up to just the two of us on a Saturday night with the alcohol cabinet is a different matter!) was in Vegas and I absolutely hated it. Couldn't bear it if he was like that every Saturday night! Well done you for having a talk.

CoffeeQueen

Hiya. I want my OH to propose and told him i don't want to get married after i'm 31 lol don't know why that age it just came out so i am just 29.
Not sure we can afford it really, think i need to look into it more. Anyway i don't think he will propose but i can dream lol
We have 2 dd's and have been going out on and off for 10 years

AllyS

Hi all

As I said before thank you very much for all support and hugs, really appreciate it.

Ok, we spoke all day yesterday, he had the day off work (long story but nothing to do with us) and I said to him if marriage isn't an issue why doesn't he marry me anyway and he said where has this come from we spoke loads, but he kept saying that if he did propose it wouldn't be a surprise because he knows that I think about marriage everyday even if I don't speak about it. He knows that it is very important to me. We kept going around in circles, so I gave up. I saw your messages and was reminded about the engagement ring incident, so I asked him about it and he said I do think about marrying you and as we have such different tastes in rings, I wanted to make sure that I could find a ring that we both like, and he kept saying to me you are not understanding what I am trying to say - yup because you are not explaining yourself very well :mad:

Anyway in the end I said am I being completely thick or are you being a complete a** to me? and he said both! I was not listening to what he was trying to say to me and he had been an a** by trying to make out that marrying me did not mean anything to him. He said 'just think about what I am saying' - confused much, yup I was!! I worked it out in the end tho, I think, basically he is not ready to marry me quite yet, but yes he thinks about it more than I realise and he isn't discussing any of it because when he does propose he wants it to be a complete surprise!! :rotfl::mad: I am not sure if I want to laugh or cry!! What a douche bag!!

I did do some thinking yesterday though. The whole marriage thing still drives me insane to be honest, and I would dearly love to marry him tomorrow, but when it does happen, maybe it will be even more amazing, because I have waited Who b***dy knows!! Marriage is important to me, but I don't want to marry just anyone, I want to marry him, so if we never get married, I will accept it (I think!)

Thanks again x

AllyS

jtr2803 wrote: »

My OH sounds a lot like yours, I call mine a 'floater' and that's not in reference to a floating turd (although sometimes it could be!) but I mean he just meanders through each day, no long term goals or ambition, just pretty happy living day to day, so frustrating at times!

Brilliant!!! I love it!! Mine is a floater too, has lots of ideas but never does anything about any of them

eleanor73 wrote: »

Me and bf had a chat yesterday. He got really drunk on Sat and got chucked out of the nightclub we go to and I basically sat him down yesterday and said that we are both 31 and that I feel he is acting like a 17 year old and if he doesn't start to be like the man I deserve I will leave (I know this is harsh but this has been coming for at least 3 months). I cried lots and he agreed and apologised and I said that he is taking me out on Friday and that we better start seeing more of each other and making more of an effort or we won't last much longer and he said he wants to make an effort (unfortunately I think he thinks I would never go). I think the reason it all came to a head was because if he is going to propose in April (or whenever) I need to know I will want to say yes as frankly after saturday I actualy hated him (grrrrr!)

I am sorry to hear that a few of you have had some negative responses to probing questions. i think some of you are amazingly patient. I think maybe I am a bit of a 'flouncer'. I am known for my impatience!!

I am a 'flouncer' too haha. I see a common theme here

Well done for talking to your OH, I really hope that you manage to move on from this, hopefully he will realise what an idiot he is being at the moment, and grow up a bit xx

CoffeeQueen wrote: »

Hiya. I want my OH to propose and told him i don't want to get married after i'm 31 lol don't know why that age it just came out so i am just 29.
Not sure we can afford it really, think i need to look into it more. Anyway i don't think he will propose but i can dream lol
We have 2 dd's and have been going out on and off for 10 years

I am sure you can afford to get married, they can be really cheap if you haggle and look around for things. Have you spoken to your OH since saying that you don't want to marry after 31? Also I think 30's seem really old until you are in your 30's then the realise that you are still a stupid kid at heart, but people take you more seriously because you are in your 30's, best of both worlds in my opinion :rotfl:I am loving my 30's easily the best decade yet, I have no idea what I was stressing out about all those years ago

eleanor73

AllyS wrote: »

I did do some thinking yesterday though. The whole marriage thing still drives me insane to be honest, and I would dearly love to marry him tomorrow, but when it does happen, maybe it will be even more amazing, because I have waited Who b***dy knows!! Marriage is important to me, but I don't want to marry just anyone, I want to marry him, so if we never get married, I will accept it (I think!)

Thanks again x

That's very good of you. I love mine to bits (even when he's an idiot but if he doen't want me to be his wife I just can't wait around. Sometimes I worry that means that I don't love him enough as surely just being with him is enough? But it 100% isn't (for me) and if he doesn't want me to be his wife then maybe it's the other way round and he doesn't love me enough?? Always have the fear that I'd dump him and he'd be engaged to some woman with 3 kids within a week! That'd be pretty unlikely though as he would take at least 4 weeks to be brave enough to say hello!! Your partner is saying some funny things which makes me think he might have something planned? & he wishes you would shut up because you might spoil the surprise?? Sorry don't mean to get your hopes up but he is being quite vague/confusing esp the bit about 'just think about what I'm saying' ??!!

daisiegg wrote: »

eleanor, good on you for sitting OH down and having a talk! You are really brave but it sounds like he will realise how lucky he is and try to make more of an effort. I know I would be highly unimpressed if my partner was getting drunk enough to get chucked out of places. Actually the only time I've ever seen him really, really, really drunk (outside our own house - what we get up to just the two of us on a Saturday night with the alcohol cabinet is a different matter!) was in Vegas and I absolutely hated it. Couldn't bear it if he was like that every Saturday night! Well done you for having a talk.

He is a bit of a crazy drunk. He doesn't get angry or aggressive or jealous and he definitely doesn't chat anyone up or anything but he may try to jump off a stage or run around with his mate on his shoulders etc hence getting chucked out! We are both quite bad at the not growing up and still going out a lot with our friends but he always takes it a bit too far. Thanks for say ing I'm brave:)

AllyS wrote: »

I am a 'flouncer' too haha. I see a common theme here

Well done for talking to your OH, I really hope that you manage to move on from this, hopefully he will realise what an idiot he is being at the moment, and grow up a bit xx

Oh I love a good flounce!!! We are already getting on better. Hope things carry on nicely up until a lovely proposal then a speedy but amazing wedding and then sproggits!! One can dream....

squ1rrel5

I'm not going to mention where as I'm still convinced someone will be able to work out who I am on here :rotfl:but today we are booking a city break to a European city (not Paris or one of the more obvious ones)

When we were looking at photos of the place last night OH kept mentioning how romantic it looked so I guess he could be thinking of proposing there!!
(He never usually mentions romance, so it's a good sign I guess and I think because he knows I was upset that he didnt propose last time we were abroad that it might be top of his list of things to do this time around!!)

It's always funny when we mention holidays because like I did with NYC, as soon as the place was mentioned I started thinking in my head, oooh I wonder if we could get married there!! But there's no way he'd be that far ahead too!!

I think because of all the talk recently (and when he had the conversation with his mum, she pretty much gave him the approval to go off and get married abroad if he wants) then I just want to go and do it asap!!!!

We are supposed to be going in May and I kind of hoped that we would have the engagement over by then, lol :rotfl:but as discussed previously, knowing how much of a planner my OH is with EVERYTHING, May is probably going to be a good time for him (I'm sure he would prefer to plan until May 2013 if he had the chance, but he's have to suffer much more of my nagging by then).

We are looking to have another holiday later in the year (but a UK one)- I am already looking at potential locations!!! :rotfl::eek:

AllyS

eleanor73 wrote: »

That's very good of you. I love mine to bits (even when he's an idiot but if he doen't want me to be his wife I just can't wait around. Sometimes I worry that means that I don't love him enough as surely just being with him is enough? But it 100% isn't (for me) and if he doesn't want me to be his wife then maybe it's the other way round and he doesn't love me enough?? Always have the fear that I'd dump him and he'd be engaged to some woman with 3 kids within a week! That'd be pretty unlikely though as he would take at least 4 weeks to be brave enough to say hello!! Your partner is saying some funny things which makes me think he might have something planned? & he wishes you would shut up because you might spoil the surprise?? Sorry don't mean to get your hopes up but he is being quite vague/confusing esp the bit about 'just think about what I'm saying' ??!!

Am desperately trying to not get my hopes up, but yup I think so too!!!

He is a bit of a crazy drunk. He doesn't get angry or aggressive or jealous and he definitely doesn't chat anyone up or anything but he may try to jump off a stage or run around with his mate on his shoulders etc hence getting chucked out! We are both quite bad at the not growing up and still going out a lot with our friends but he always takes it a bit too far. Thanks for say ing I'm brave:)

My ex was like this, he would annoy people because he would think he was funny and then they would try and beat him up. I still loved him despite this tho, he honestly didn't see how annoying he was and his heart was in the right place. Always made a night fun anyway, sometimes for the wrong reasons :rotfl:



Oh I love a good flounce!!! We are already getting on better. Hope things carry on nicely up until a lovely proposal then a speedy but amazing wedding and then sproggits!! One can dream....

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

I'm not going to mention where as I'm still convinced someone will be able to work out who I am on here :rotfl:but today we are booking a city break to a European city (not Paris or one of the more obvious ones)

When we were looking at photos of the place last night OH kept mentioning how romantic it looked so I guess he could be thinking of proposing there!!
(He never usually mentions romance, so it's a good sign I guess and I think because he knows I was upset that he didnt propose last time we were abroad that it might be top of his list of things to do this time around!!)

It's always funny when we mention holidays because like I did with NYC, as soon as the place was mentioned I started thinking in my head, oooh I wonder if we could get married there!! But there's no way he'd be that far ahead too!!

I think because of all the talk recently (and when he had the conversation with his mum, she pretty much gave him the approval to go off and get married abroad if he wants) then I just want to go and do it asap!!!!

We are supposed to be going in May and I kind of hoped that we would have the engagement over by then, lol :rotfl:but as discussed previously, knowing how much of a planner my OH is with EVERYTHING, May is probably going to be a good time for him (I'm sure he would prefer to plan until May 2013 if he had the chance, but he's have to suffer much more of my nagging by then).

We are looking to have another holiday later in the year (but a UK one)- I am already looking at potential locations!!! :rotfl::eek:

Exciting exciting exciting Some ideas for England, Cornwall - so so beautiful, Lake District, Scotland, or Wicklow in Ireland - stunning place!! I love holidaying in UK

Anyway ladies, thought you might want to see this article, made me chuckle. Dont look at the comments below tho - not nice :rotfl:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2091188/The-rise-single-bridezilla-Meet-women-planning-weddings-BEFORE-theyre-engaged.html

Olokia

eleanor73 wrote: »

Your partner is saying some funny things which makes me think he might have something planned? & he wishes you would shut up because you might spoil the surprise?? Sorry don't mean to get your hopes up but he is being quite vague/confusing esp the bit about 'just think about what I'm saying' ??!!

With my partner, he waited until I had given up mentioning about it. I knew it may have been soon as we were looking at engagement rings but he wanted it to be a complete surprise. And it was.

I'm not trying to get your hopes up either but your partner seems to be hinting for you to not mention it for a while.

(Oh I found out last week that my fiance had been thinking about proposing since our 5 year anniversary but he made me wait another 1 1/2 years lol. I wasn't happy when I heard that! )

daisiegg

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

I'm not going to mention where as I'm still convinced someone will be able to work out who I am on here :rotfl:but today we are booking a city break to a European city (not Paris or one of the more obvious ones)

When we were looking at photos of the place last night OH kept mentioning how romantic it looked so I guess he could be thinking of proposing there!!
(He never usually mentions romance, so it's a good sign I guess and I think because he knows I was upset that he didnt propose last time we were abroad that it might be top of his list of things to do this time around!!)

It's always funny when we mention holidays because like I did with NYC, as soon as the place was mentioned I started thinking in my head, oooh I wonder if we could get married there!! But there's no way he'd be that far ahead too!!

I think because of all the talk recently (and when he had the conversation with his mum, she pretty much gave him the approval to go off and get married abroad if he wants) then I just want to go and do it asap!!!!

We are supposed to be going in May and I kind of hoped that we would have the engagement over by then, lol :rotfl:but as discussed previously, knowing how much of a planner my OH is with EVERYTHING, May is probably going to be a good time for him (I'm sure he would prefer to plan until May 2013 if he had the chance, but he's have to suffer much more of my nagging by then).

We are looking to have another holiday later in the year (but a UK one)- I am already looking at potential locations!!! :rotfl::eek:

Oooooh I am keeping everything crossed now that you are going to get engaged in a romantic European city!!! :T