Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

squ1rrel5

Thats what I want!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't believe how ungrateful some people are!! Just wish I'd thought of becoming a proposal planner - could have made myself a fortune there!! Although how frustrating would you be if that was your job and you were still waiting on a proposal - you'd be getting annoyed at all your customers!!!! :rotfl:

rohitash2

Ya, i think it seems a sweet proposal. It is so peaceful.

eleanor73

I can't believe some people....I genuinely think its sh/te like that which makes men so scared/slow at popping the question.

Anyway in regards to mine I feel like we are drifting further apart and further away from a proposal. I just don't see it happening and everyday is a bit of a struggle. I'm starting to resent him for making me wait for no apparent reason and I really, really need to stop letting it eat me up inside.

minerva_windsong

Goodness me, that girl jtr's quoted just seems so ungrateful! OK maybe the bloke didn't have the best timing, but she should at least appreciate the effort he's gone to to get a ring and plan when he was going to propose and trying to make it special...

I would hate my OH to think he had to hire someone to set up a proposal, because surely that would defeat the object - I'm trying to think of a better way to word it but a big part of the proposal to me would be the fact that he'd put thought into how he was going to do it, not just said to someone 'oh she likes x y z' and got them to do it for him. I'm not saying it has to be all bells and whistles in the slightest - in fact quite the opposite - but I want it to come from him, if that makes sense.

In other news, I think I have found my dream venue http://www.lillibrookemanor.com/ It's been on the most recent series of Don't Tell The Bride but I actually only found it because a girl I know on another forum is getting married there next year, and it ticks all the boxes that OH and I would want - it's comfortably big enough to take all the people we'd want to invite, it's quite outdoorsy, it's got the history, it's reasonably close to where we are and it seems very relaxed and laid-back. It's just perfect. Now all I have to do is hope it's still in business when OH and I get married...

AllyS

eleanor73 wrote: »

I can't believe some people....I genuinely think its sh/te like that which makes men so scared/slow at popping the question.

Anyway in regards to mine I feel like we are drifting further apart and further away from a proposal. I just don't see it happening and everyday is a bit of a struggle. I'm starting to resent him for making me wait for no apparent reason and I really, really need to stop letting it eat me up inside.

Hope you are ok hun. I understand what you mean me and my OH were talking about things the other day and he said to me I know you think about marriage everyday and it upsets me that I can't make you happy. He just isn't ready and I am pretty sure it is nothing personal against me. It is really hard to not focus on marriage and I think we all find it a struggle. Really hope you are feeling a little better today xx

eleanor73

minerva_windsong wrote: »

In other news, I think I have found my dream venue http://www.lillibrookemanor.com/ It's been on the most recent series of Don't Tell The Bride but I actually only found it because a girl I know on another forum is getting married there next year, and it ticks all the boxes that OH and I would want - it's comfortably big enough to take all the people we'd want to invite, it's quite outdoorsy, it's got the history, it's reasonably close to where we are and it seems very relaxed and laid-back. It's just perfect. Now all I have to do is hope it's still in business when OH and I get married...

I think that's the one I've had my eye on that venue for ages!!!!!! Is it Maidenhead way??

eleanor73

AllyS wrote: »

Hope you are ok hun. I understand what you mean me and my OH were talking about things the other day and he said to me I know you think about marriage everyday and it upsets me that I can't make you happy. He just isn't ready and I am pretty sure it is nothing personal against me. It is really hard to not focus on marriage and I think we all find it a struggle. Really hope you are feeling a little better today xx

Thanks. I think I knew I was going to struggle in jan and it doesn't help he is driving me mad!! I am 31 and scared that I might end up right back at the drawing board and actually it is him I want not just anyone! Does your partner say he wants to when he is older?

AllyS

eleanor73 wrote: »

Thanks. I think I knew I was going to struggle in jan and it doesn't help he is driving me mad!! I am 31 and scared that I might end up right back at the drawing board and actually it is him I want not just anyone! Does your partner say he wants to when he is older?

We are both 34. Slightly diff situation we have both been married before and been treated badly, but he has a lot of issues still. He always says 'one day' he will marry me, he wants a baby soon and I originally said I wouldn't have a baby without being married, but he got upset that he was feeling under pressure and was scared of the whole marriage thing, so I have said we will see what happens this year. Life would be much better if these blokes would just get on with it!

Does your OH say one day too? X

eleanor73

AllyS wrote: »

We are both 34. Slightly diff situation we have both been married before and been treated badly, but he has a lot of issues still. He always says 'one day' he will marry me, he wants a baby soon and I originally said I wouldn't have a baby without being married, but he got upset that he was feeling under pressure and was scared of the whole marriage thing, so I have said we will see what happens this year. Life would be much better if these blokes would just get on with it!

Does your OH say one day too? X

He knows it is the only option really and I know that sounds scary but I made it very clear early on that I want to get married and have kids. He is very young at heart and I think he would just be happy to do it whenever. He loves nice holidays and sport and nights out and I think he knows kids will make life different. Having said that he would be the best Dad ever and is very family orientated. He knows that I won't wait long and he also knows that I was hoping it would be last year. I suppose we are now in the situation where he knows I won't wait longer than April (that's when he has told my friend-all explained in my first post) and he doesn't want to lose me (I hope!) but I don't want it to be forced and him feel like he's been cornered! I'm 31. I want 2 kids and know nothing about my fertility so can't hang around. If I wait for him for years and miss out on kids I will resent him. I sound psychologically unsound when I read these posts back sometimes!!

AllyS

You are being hard on yourself Eleanor you don't sound harsh or anything else to me. I have 2 kids but I would feel the same if I was you. I think you are very sensible and realise what you want or otherwise you may look back and have regrets. This is why I have backed off a bit about demanding we are married before we have kids, I don't want him to feel that he has run out of time, some days I already find it difficult, because it would be better if he was with someone 5 years younger and then they could take their time.

I understand completely how you feel, stupid biological clocks! x