Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

findingmyownway

Just wanted to wish all the lovely ladies on here and very merry christmas! I hope you get what you're waiting for and there will be a few more newly-engaged people by January!

jtr2803

I know everyone will be so busy with christmas preparations now and I don't expect a reply but I don't feel like I can talk to my mum either because she will insist on coming over and wanting me to talk about it but I have been thinking so much this afternoon (something I really wanted to avoid) and I feel so down and have been fighting back tears for the past 45 minutes. It's not just about the fact that he hasn't proposed although I know that is part of it but I make no secret of the fact that our relationship isn't perfect, we have some issues in certain areas but I keep trying to piece it all together and just keep coming up with the same answer. It's obviously difficult to explain without going in to major detail but I feel second best to his ex, I think deep down I probably always have and I've never really let that go and maybe that is one of the reasons I desperately crave that commitment from him (which I also know isn't right). I don't feel like he's listened at all when I have told him how I have felt about it all. I do really, really love him and have for a long time, even before we got together and I am sure he *thinks* he loves me but I am starting to doubt whether he does at all.

Disclaimer - thinking is bad for your mental health.

Edited - And the worst part is that I am annoyed with myself for feeling like this so close to Christmas, I really wanted to have a lovely time regardless of whether there was or wasn't a proposal but now I feel like I'll just have to act my way through it. I don't even think I want him to propose now, if he really loved me then he surely would have taken on board what I said and done something about it? It just feels like it would be a hollow victory now.

squ1rrel5

Please dont feel down about it although its perfectly understandable - I think a lot of people feel like this around Christmas... we all want everything to be perfect just for a few days and then we start thinking about things that arent!!

I would try and relax over the next few days if you can - just enjoy Christmas for what it is and get rid of any expectations. enjoy the time with your OH and with your family and friends and then if you need to start thinking about serious stuff, do it from 1st January onwards!

I was just discussing with my friend the other day a news article about the the amount of people that split up in January (it happened to my and my ex-hubby) and its soo true - everyone just grits their teeth to get through Christmas and then they flip out in January. Its a good a time as any to try and sort stuff out and make a fresh start (if needs be...)

If I havent had my proposal between now and new year, then I am using January as my month to get it out in the open (not waiting til 29th February, think id go mad before then!!)

Huge hugs for feeling down, go and grab a huge glass of wine and start those Christmas celebrations early!!! :-)

Just to reiterate what everyone else was saying earlier, I hope everyone on here has something good to celebrate over Christmas (if not an engagement, then just an amazing present!) - its been great to have all you ladies to talk to about a subject that I would never discuss with most people in a million years!!

I'll no doubt be on here over Christmas - we're just having a quiet one at home so will catch up every now and again to check if there's anyone with some lovely news!!! :rotfl:

Brighton_belle

Well I don't see what is wrong with 'craving that committment'. Committment is good and to different people, it is demonstrated in differnt forms and you/we can't helped how we are wired.To me it is part of being human to strongly desire that committment, and for you, that means marriage, as it did me.
Christmas is one of those 'bad times' when you are feeling like this: it heightens emotions further and is a time of reflection over the past year and what has and has not changed.
I totally get the while thing about if he he loved you, he would hear how important this was to you. It is very painful to feel like this, I know. And for anyone who suggests it is just a piece of paper, well for some it might be, but for others of us it isn't, and finally getting married myself, it has proved to be far far more than a piece of paper to both of us now that we are married. So don't do yourself down for feeling like this.

verandi

Will catch up with this thread more in a day or so but just wanted to say merry Christmas to all of you. It's my birthday in an hour and I'm lying on the sofa under a blanket with flu! So I am well and truly joining the feeling sorry for ourselves club!

Have a lovely Christmas everyone, hope you all enjoy your days xx

AllyS

jtr2803 wrote: »

I know everyone will be so busy with christmas preparations now and I don't expect a reply but I don't feel like I can talk to my mum either because she will insist on coming over and wanting me to talk about it but I have been thinking so much this afternoon (something I really wanted to avoid) and I feel so down and have been fighting back tears for the past 45 minutes. It's not just about the fact that he hasn't proposed although I know that is part of it but I make no secret of the fact that our relationship isn't perfect, we have some issues in certain areas but I keep trying to piece it all together and just keep coming up with the same answer. It's obviously difficult to explain without going in to major detail but I feel second best to his ex, I think deep down I probably always have and I've never really let that go and maybe that is one of the reasons I desperately crave that commitment from him (which I also know isn't right). tory now.

Sorry writing this on my phone, so not easy. Just wanted to say this is exactly how I feel, so u r not alone. It will be ok, Christmas and new year are difficult times and emotions tend to be at the forefront hopefully you will feel a little more positive tomorrow - hugs

verandi wrote: »

Will catch up with this thread more in a day or so but just wanted to say merry Christmas to all of you. It's my birthday in an hour and I'm lying on the sofa under a blanket with flu! So I am well and truly joining the feeling sorry for ourselves club

Have a lovely Christmas everyone, hope you all enjoy your days xx

Happy birthday! Hope you feel better soon x

Happy xmas and new year everyone. Good luck and don't feel sad if Santa doesn't bring you what you want just means he has a better plan !

verandi

AllyS wrote: »

Happy birthday! Hope you feel better soon x

Happy xmas and new year everyone. Good luck and don't feel sad if Santa doesn't bring you what you want just means he has a better plan !

Thank you I'm a bit better today. OH bought me something from the jewellery quarter for my birthday, but don't get too excited it's a necklace not a ring, although still nice

We went up there again earlier to look for something for my sister and I went out of my way to not look at the diamond rings even though there were thousands of them glaring at me. Didn't want to look even remotely like I was hinting. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to look at them either. It would have been a perfect opportunity for him to do some fishing as to what sort I like etc but nope, nothing. So I guess that's my answer, that nothing is going to happen anytime soon. Made me feel a bit crap all of a sudden seeing them all and the couples looking together, so we just left. Argh :rotfl:

caz2003uk

I was right!!!!

This morning my now Fiance called me into the bedroom shouting that there was something wrong with the freezer and water was everywhere, (kitchen isn't big enough in this flat so the freezer has to go in the bedroom incase you were wondering!) Anyway....I turn the corner into the bedroom and there he is down on one knee, ring box held up in one hand, he grabbed my hand and said those words...."name, will you marry me" .... well even though i thought it was going to happen its still a fantastic shock and im made up!!! I can't stop smiling, my engagement ring is beautiful and its really made my day

There is hope out there, it will happen to all of you!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

MrsDrink

Congratulations Caz

verandi

Oh wow, congratulations! Really happy for you x