Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Idiophreak

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do wonder if some men are put off by their anxiety over the style of a proposal. Certainly my DH would chose the "lets ignore the whole issue" route rather than deal with the complecations of making it 'special'.

I think this is certainly true. Before I proposed to my DW, a few of her friends got engaged and I was very aware of all the story telling of "oh, it was so romantic...he did this, then that, then there was the trail of rose petals...and the sonnet...and the skywriter"...And, as a guy, I was left thinking "oh, right....so I've got that to beat, eh"...

And, obviously I'll be beaten up for being so materialistic, but there is a definite special=expensive vibe that comes up in these conversations..."then he whisked me away to...he'd arranged for a private tour...we ate at this amazing restaurant...and he'd only tied the ring to a Ferrari!" - so guys don't think they can get away with a bag of chips and a bottle of Blue Nun for the proposal.

Personally, though, I view the "proposal" much as I imagine princes viewed dragons in the fairytales...You go, you fight the dragon, you get the princess...My bravery in doing the whole thing; buying a ring, asking the parents, planning the proposal...I think that proved me worthy of my princess

findingmyownway

Idiophreak wrote: »

Personally, though, I view the "proposal" much as I imagine princes viewed dragons in the fairytales...You go, you fight the dragon, you get the princess...My bravery in doing the whole thing; buying a ring, asking the parents, planning the proposal...I think that proved me worthy of my princess

I think that seems fair!!

p00pieb0tt0m

AllyS wrote: »

Welcome to the group

Aww it is a shame that he was disturbed about the ring idea, I think it was a lovely thing to do, but then I am a girl

Is it worth trying to discuss things with him again? and the fact he hasn't given it back must be a good sign? surely?

Yes, hopefully it is a good sign that he's still got it safe. I feel that each time we discuss it, well, I only touch on it lightly now, due to his negative reactions, he steps back.

jtr2803 wrote: »

Bless you, at least you now know you aren't alone and you can always vent in here! In what way was your OH disturbed? Was he disturbed that it was your nans ring or that you wanted to get married? I also think it was a lovely gesture on your part.

I gave it to him about 3 years into our relationship, we were living together with my Mum at the time, he was disturbed that I wanted to get married. I think that he'd never considered it at all, so I put a gigantic thought into his head.

bramble1

AllyS wrote: »

Its funny how our expectations change with time, I was thinking the other day that I am not bothered in slightest about even being engaged I would be more than happy to just get married haha.

I prefer old/antique rings too, but OH really dislikes them and wants me to have something delicate, modern and expensive! To be honest though I really really don't care I am happy to have anything or nothing. I just want to marry him


Ax

I have come to realise this month that i am totally happy being engaged and am not bothered about the wedding/marriage!!

My engagement ring was my OH's mums engagement ring. I love it, more so because the fact his mum was willing to part with the ring for me shows how much they see me as part of the family.

verandi

jtr2803 wrote: »

Next to the quote button is a little button with speech bubbles, just go down the posts and click this on the ones you want to quote, when you have chosen them, hit reply and voila! They will all be there so you just add your text between them, hope that helps

I never knew that, thank you! I always did them all by copying and pasting and it took me forever so thanks

jtr2803 wrote: »

Verandi - I can't go back far enough and find your post to quote but am also a little surprised you haven't discussed the 'M' word at all. Do you think there is a chance that maybe your OH doesn't think you want to??? I think I would need there to be some sort of hint or discussion before I proposed (if I was a bloke) otherwise I'd be afraid they would say no

My OH put don't tell the bride on for about 10 minutes last night and actually watched it :eek:. Normally he flicks straight past it all, maybe he is softening a little? Mind you, I think he also had a fleeting broody moment at the weekend over his nephew too...he said 'Ethan is hilarious isn't he, he's awesome', my reply was 'don't get any ideas' and he never said anything! Normally he would tell me that he most definitely wasn't :rotfl:

When I say we haven't discussed it I mean we haven't had a conversation about me and him getting married and when might it happen and where/how etc. We've both said things along the lines of "I want to be with you for the rest of my life" etc, and he knows I'm traditional and want to get married at some point in my life and I know that he's the same. But in terms of a full on detailed conversation about it, we haven't talked about it and I never would be able to bring that up haha.

And my OH sometimes put Don't Tell the Bride on aswell! We find it really funny to watch.

bramble1 wrote: »

My engagement ring was my OH's mums engagement ring. I love it, more so because the fact his mum was willing to part with the ring for me shows how much they see me as part of the family.

That's really lovely. I've always said I wouldn't mind having a secondhand/antique ring as long as the person who owned it before me had a long and happy marriage But I suppose if you bought one from a shop there'd be no way of knowing! If I was having an antique ring I think I'd pick something with a diamond in still, maybe a diamond central stone and a lovely sapphire on either side or something.

EDIT- arghhhh! Why is it that while I was on here writing about how much I want to be with him etc, he was off doing something that he knows would upset me. That just about sums it up doesn't it. Don't know why I bother.

verandi

jtr2803 wrote: »

Also keep hearing Beyonce's Single Ladies song on the radio on the way home...... cried my tears for three good years, you can't be mad at me....if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it....:mad:

I keep singing that Bruno Mars song while
I'm washing up or something, the one about I think I wanna marry you. Then panicking that he'll think I'm hinting or something when I'm not haha. It's just a catchy song

findingmyownway wrote: »

I think my taste in rings is pretty dull too - a classic diamond solitaire would suit me down to the ground! I think OH knows that though.

I wanted a classic solitaire too until I saw someone with an oval diamond ring and it was stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. So that's what I'd like but a classic round diamond would be great too haha, I'd take anything if it meant I was getting married to him lol.

findingmyownway wrote: »

You've really never talked about it? Not even in a jokey way? Has he ever tried to bring it up? How long have you been together?

I kind of already answered this in my last post, but we've talked about being together forever in an indirect way like all loved up people do I dare say. But not ever in terms of actual marriage. He'll know I want to and that I'd say yes. We've been together two and a half years and have lived together for nearly two.

AllyS

bramble1 wrote: »

My engagement ring was my OH's mums engagement ring. I love it, more so because the fact his mum was willing to part with the ring for me shows how much they see me as part of the family.

Awwww so lovely

verandi wrote: »

I never knew that, thank you! I always did them all by copying and pasting and it took me forever so thanks

Thanks from me too!!

EDIT- arghhhh! Why is it that while I was on here writing about how much I want to be with him etc, he was off doing something that he knows would upset me. That just about sums it up doesn't it. Don't know why I bother.

My OH really upset me the other day, we all have off days hope all is ok now tho xx

verandi wrote: »

I keep singing that Bruno Mars song while
I'm washing up or something, the one about I think I wanna marry you. Then panicking that he'll think I'm hinting or something when I'm not haha. It's just a catchy song

I keep singing that too haha


Thanks everyone for comments about wedding ring, really appreciate it

jtr2803

verandi wrote: »

I kind of already answered this in my last post, but we've talked about being together forever in an indirect way like all loved up people do I dare say. But not ever in terms of actual marriage. He'll know I want to and that I'd say yes. We've been together two and a half years and have lived together for nearly two.

That makes more sense . I was thinking that maybe he had no idea!

Just read your edit about OH annoying you, they do have a horrid habit of doing that :mad:. Mine has been out all day doing work at his parents house, I know he thinks he is doing me a favour as I am revising for exams but it would have been nice to hear something as he made it sounds like he'd only be an hour or two!

I wonder if we will have any Xmas or New Year thread graduates?

74jax

Is it just me, or do you get like this too : when you see a new post on a Saturday or Sunday morning on this thread you think...... ooooo I wonder if he popped the question last night....

I mean seriously, if they had you'd be phoning round all your friend the next day, not updating this thread.... but I still get excited....

squ1rrel5

74jax wrote: »

Is it just me, or do you get like this too : when you see a new post on a Saturday or Sunday morning on this thread you think...... ooooo I wonder if he popped the question last night....

I mean seriously, if they had you'd be phoning round all your friend the next day, not updating this thread.... but I still get excited....

Haha I think this too!!! :rotfl: