Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

74jax

jtr2803 wrote: »

' so I have decided I am not going to mention the M word for at least 6 months OR next time he tells me (umprompted) that he loves me and wants to marry me I will just say say oh good, let's go and get me a ring and make it official

In April, I was sitting at the PC in my pyjamas and he came over and knelt down next to me, not unusual in itself, he does it when he wants some attention and told me that he loved me very much and asked me if I still wanted to be his wife. I told him that I loved him too and I did still want to be his wife if it was what he wanted. His reply was that it is very much what he wants. Perhaps at that time I should have just said we should get a ring but I was a bit of an idiot and in shock so I ended up faffing and telling him that he didn't actually have to propose,

74jax wrote: »

You see reading this, i'm thinking he doesn't think he needs to propose, so won't.


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jtr2803 wrote: »

MrsD/Jax, can see what you both are saying about mine and OH's little conversation, I even text my friend and said I wasn't sure if he had just tried to propose or not.

that's why I said next time he comes out with it I will assume he IS proposing and will suggest a trip to buy something sparkly :rotfl:

Edited to add - in regards to the us already being engaged, I hadn't really thought of it like that, I guess if you broke it down logically...I want to marry him and he said he wants to marry me, therefore it is assumed it will happen, maybe that is his way of thinking?

Going back to June when the quote above were made, I do wonder if he does genuinely think you're engaged to be married. Not everyone classes 'being engaged' as a stage in itself, more as a mean to and end (ie marriage) maybe he sees you as engaged to be married and not 'engaged' does that even make sense? :rotfl:

jtr2803

It does make sense!

I suppose logically speaking, we both have declared an interest in getting married, while it would be nice to have a proper proposal I guess he feels like he doesn't really need to ask?

74jax

jtr2803 wrote: »

It does make sense!

I suppose logically speaking, we both have declared an interest in getting married, while it would be nice to have a proper proposal I guess he feels like he doesn't really need to ask?

I think because you made it clear to him you didn't actually need a proposal I really don't think he feels you want one?

Alibear

JTR, you say he told you back in April that he wants to marry you, he's thought about where and (roughly) when he wants you to marry, and the logistics of how to get your loved ones there. He's even created a bank of the music he wants played! This is all lovely news, so just ask him to use the 'E' word! :-) x

minerva_windsong

I agree with everyone else re: JTR's situation and would be very tempted to throw 'So are we engaged now then?' in next time he mentions anything weddingy, or asking if he's spoken to his parents when he gets back from there tonight. That said though I'm inclined to lean towards him thinking that as you've both said you want to marry each other that makes you engaged, so you could ask about 'making it official', perhaps on the back of the other conversations depending how they go. Eeee, it's all very exciting!

I've had the ring I wanted in my head for ages: very simple white gold band, not too flashy diamond and a 'twist' in the ring, if that makes sense, kind of like this one: http://www.wavejewellery.com/products/18ct-White-Gold-Marquise-Twist-Solitaire-Ring.html

So nothing too out-there but still a bit different, although I'm trying to put it out of my mind because I probably won't get one like that. As long as it's not yellow gold I don't mind though - nothing against yellow gold jewellery if that's what you like but pretty much all my jewellery is silver and I'd want my engagement and wedding rings to match that! As I've said before though I wouldn't care if I just got the plastic ring from a drinks bottle or a Haribo sweet, or didn't get a ring at all - I just want to be that bit closer to being Mrs H.

No progress from me I'm afraid but OH has been very keen on us spending this Christmas together (we're not though because my sister's spending next Christmas in New Zealand with her in-laws so I want to see her this year if I can), so I'm really trying to not get my hopes up about that...

bramble1

Minerva - When OH and i would go ring shopping I would always point out white gold/sliver coloured rings, and OH would ask 'what about this gold one?!' my response was ehhhh i don't like gold jewelry, none of my stuff is gold' Little did i know he had his mum's ring the whole time and it's gold!! I felt terrible.

So now my engagement ring is gold and all, ALL my other jewelry is silver/white gold. I don't want a gold wedding band though...

AllyS

jtr2803 wrote: »

I am keeping my fingers crossed!!!

jtr2803 wrote: »

It does make sense!

I suppose logically speaking, we both have declared an interest in getting married, while it would be nice to have a proper proposal I guess he feels like he doesn't really need to ask?

Just set a date for the wedding

I am kidding - boys are so confusing and they say we are pain in the neck! pah! haha

bramble1 wrote: »

Minerva - When OH and i would go ring shopping I would always point out white gold/sliver coloured rings, and OH would ask 'what about this gold one?!' my response was ehhhh i don't like gold jewelry, none of my stuff is gold' Little did i know he had his mum's ring the whole time and it's gold!! I felt terrible.

So now my engagement ring is gold and all, ALL my other jewelry is silver/white gold. I don't want a gold wedding band though...

Oh no! bless you! I am another one here that prefers white gold - OH does tho too so that is good

I really hope that lots of you get good news soon!! I know mine won't be over xmas which in some ways is really nice, I know that it won't happen so it takes all the pressure off!

wanchai_2

jtr2803 wrote: »

Had to come on and post this from my phone as its quite unbelievable, sorry to all those hoping its a post to say he's proposed, its not that great....

OH was going through YouTube playing loads of motown tracks and we were bobbing away, then he said he was.saving them all in a folder for our wedding! I then said o wasn't keen on getting married over here so he said ok, we will take my parents, your mum away for it. I said I doubt his parents would travel as they've never been abroad and he said next time he goes round he will ask them as it needs to be fairly soon, while they are still able to travel :eek:

Oh my word how exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :j:j:j

I agree with 74jax, sounds like he thinks that you're already engaged...

verandi

jtr2803 wrote: »

Ps....perhaps he read this thread?!?!! :rotfl:

Don't even joke haha. I wouldn't wish that on any of you :rotfl: Do your OH's know you all post on here/look on this board?

minerva_windsong wrote: »

I've had the ring I wanted in my head for ages: very simple white gold band, not too flashy diamond and a 'twist' in the ring, if that makes sense, kind of like this one: http://www.wavejewellery.com/products/18ct-White-Gold-Marquise-Twist-Solitaire-Ring.html

So nothing too out-there but still a bit different, although I'm trying to put it out of my mind because I probably won't get one like that. As long as it's not yellow gold I don't mind though - nothing against yellow gold jewellery if that's what you like but pretty much all my jewellery is silver and I'd want my engagement and wedding rings to match that! As I've said before though I wouldn't care if I just got the plastic ring from a drinks bottle or a Haribo sweet, or didn't get a ring at all - I just want to be that bit closer to being Mrs H.

That's a lovely ring, I like the Marquise shape also, although that site is expensive! I would want yellow gold though. It's just more traditional and I'm a traditional person at heart. I want one like this http://www.samarajames.com/acatalog/info_r1_157.html in yellow gold, although bought from the Jewellery Quarter so I can get 20% off the price I like ones with quite thin bands that taper in at the diamond. Nice and simple. Would have to be one that would take a normal round wedding ring, I wouldn't want a wavy or twisty wedding ring. I have nooooo idea what OH would choose though

bramble1 wrote: »

Minerva - When OH and i would go ring shopping I would always point out white gold/sliver coloured rings, and OH would ask 'what about this gold one?!' my response was ehhhh i don't like gold jewelry, none of my stuff is gold' Little did i know he had his mum's ring the whole time and it's gold!! I felt terrible.

So now my engagement ring is gold and all, ALL my other jewelry is silver/white gold. I don't want a gold wedding band though...

Oh nooooo you must have felt awful What are you going to do, just have different coloured wedding and engagement rings?

Ziggazee

On my life......I thought the "desperate for him to propose" woman was the stuff comedy sketches are made of but this thread tells me different. I think all your men should run run run for their lives!!!!