Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Whoop

I've been lurking on this thread for a long time but never posted.

Have been with OH for nearly 6 years and we bought a house together at the beginning of the year. We have spoken about marriage and we both agree that we wouldn't want a big wedding. I have never been overly bothered about rushing in to getting married but recently there have been so many people getting engaged and married that I am starting to wonder when will it be my turn.

His brother recently got engaged and married in a very short space of time with someone who he has been with for only a couple of years and it has really made me think. I know it's silly but it makes me feel upset that his brother has committed himself to someone who he has known for a lot less time whereas my OH hasn't.

We are away for our 6 year anniversary and so was thinking maybe it will happen then but we may now have to cancel it due to a close family members wedding. When he told me this I nearly burst in to tears which is just ridiculous (and really not like me!)

Argggghhh! And yes I know I can ask him but I want him to ask me.

roobee13

Hi all,

I hope you don't mind me posting.

Just wanted to share my story. I was with my ex for 9.5 years and we were never engaged, nor was there a hint of it but we did buy a house together. Tbh even if he had proposed to me I wouldn't have said yes. I was too young and stupid when we got together and it took me a long time to realise he was an absolute muppet. Anyways, we spearated over 2.5 years ago now and have only just recently sold the house, so I'm officially free.

I met my OH about 10 months after splitting with the muppet, totally unexpected as I presumed I would be single forever. Our relationship is amazing and I've never been happier. I can't compare it to before because there is no comparison as far as I'm concerned. He is the one and I knew it within weeks.

We are so lucky that we can have really open conversations, but for some reason marriage has never cropped up (we'll have been together 2 years in Oct), although we have talked about growing old together, buying a house, that we've both found the one etc etc.

We went to New York for my 30th this year and I felt really sorry for him as loads of people kept asking him if he'd propose while we were away. He said to me in advance that it wasn't going to happen there, I was fine with this as I genuinely was not expecting anything.

However.....we went to dinner the other week and he just kept talking about our future and said 'why are we waiting to get married' to which I replied 'um, cos you haven't asked me'. It was quite comical! I've never seen him so serious. The next morning he asked me to find a style of ring I like and when I did he said 'right, now you just have to wait'. I also went to a jewellers to get my ring size.

So I am in an odd position as I know he's going to propose, but I've no idea when / where / how. He knows I'm quite a private person so I am hoping it is not public, haha.

Has or is anyone else in this position?! It's lovely but very confusing.

I hope all you ladies get your happy ending. For me, this will just be an added bonus of fully committing to the man I love (sorry to go all soppy!) xx

burnoutbabe

Sort of, in that he said he wanted to buy me a ring for my birthday. And we then chose a ring (in the end a cheap one for pics only) and did a formal announcement on my birthday 5 weeks later (and I found us a cool place to go that day to do it so we had a cool story).

But as soon as he had asked, I confirmed we were engaged. As we were. I think on the day neither of us asked, we both just said "I want to marry you" and vice versa.

ams8236

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Sometimes when I read posts on this thread I feel so relieved that I am not the only one! My mini histroy - I have been with my OH for 7 years, have been living together for 3 years. My dad died 6 years ago and since then I have always had it in the back of my mind that it would be lovely to get married on his birthday so that in some small way he could be there. Anyway, the next time his birthday falls on a saturday is September 2015...

Over the past couple of years, and unrelated to the 2015 date, I have been ready to get married - I wouldn't want to have a life without him so to me it seems like the logical next step. I have talked to him about getting married - he says we will get married, but that he hasn't got any money (not true - his parents gave him £10K when they sold their house as an early inheritance - and they specifically told him it was for a wedding so I think they are getting impatient too!) and in any case, I don't think you need loads of money to get married - it all depends on how much you want to spend...

He has told me it definitely won't be this year, although there always a little bit of me that hopes this is a double bluff

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I shall continue to wait. Although in the meantime I will continue to pick out my wedding venue, food, drinks, flowers etc so that when it does happen I can get things moving asap - I realise that makes me mental lol.

ams8236

Sophie8 wrote: »

Hieveryone, Gerogiegirl256 and CH27,
Could you please kindly remove the quotations from today's messages? I am noy suggesting you delete your messages, just delete my messages that are contained in them, i am paranoid that someone is going to find out and mt OH is going to think the same things and get hurt& possibly end the relationship

Sophie 8 - I don't know how many mishaps I have had on autocorrect! What I really want to know though is...did IT happen?

jojo-baby

so, at the weekend BF and I went back home for a party, and it was the only chance he would have had to have a chat with my father until december, then he will get one chance and then not until i dont know when. i don't think he spoke to him, so nothing on the horizon for me

end of grump.

lika_86

jojo-baby wrote: »

so, at the weekend BF and I went back home for a party, and it was the only chance he would have had to have a chat with my father until december, then he will get one chance and then not until i dont know when. i don't think he spoke to him, so nothing on the horizon for me

end of grump.

Would he definitely ask your father? I'd have thought that in this day and age the practice would be dying out a bit.

My boyfriend knows I hate the idea of asking anyone else for 'permission' to marry someone (other than the propose of course).

heartbreak_star

lika_86 wrote: »

Would he definitely ask your father? I'd have thought that in this day and age the practice would be dying out a bit.

My boyfriend knows I hate the idea of asking anyone else for 'permission' to marry someone (other than the propose of course).

Absolutely! Maybe he doesn't feel like he needs your father's permission?

You are your own person after all...

HBS x

jojo-baby

lika_86 wrote: »

Would he definitely ask your father? I'd have thought that in this day and age the practice would be dying out a bit.

My boyfriend knows I hate the idea of asking anyone else for 'permission' to marry someone (other than the propose of course).

I told him that I would like it if he did. He is not English and so I wanted him to understand our "ways" a bit, and so mentioned this, and said that i would like it.
Also my Dad would be over the moon if he did, and my Dad is very very important to me.

Whoop

Another person at work is now engaged. That's number 4 so far this year and they have all been together for a less amount of time than my OH and I. I've never ever been the jealous type but this sucks!