Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

jojo-baby

i'm another one for a facebook full of wedding posts/engagements/photos of either, or pregnancies being announced... blurgh blurgh...

we went to Antwerp for the weekend, and I was looking in all the windows of the diamond shops, made sure to point out what i liked
to be honest he seemed more interested in the wedding rings than the engagement ones. i have no idea if that means anything or not.

as to whether he is planning something special who knows. we have lots of BIG things happening this year still, so maybe, but to be honest i really like it if it was just in the park or something, not some big perfect moment.
actually i wouldn't mind, as long as it was him and the question!

cloverfan

Well we are off on holiday in a few days and I'm fed up of people suggesting he might do it while we are away.

I'm also fed up that he just won't do it. We are committed hugely to each other in other areas of our lives so why can't we do this. It's great to keep saying don't worry we will do it one day but I would actually like to know WHICH day!!!! Happy to wait few years as long as I knew.

terra_ferma

cloverfan wrote: »

Well we are off on holiday in a few days and I'm fed up of people suggesting he might do it while we are away.

I'm also fed up that he just won't do it. We are committed hugely to each other in other areas of our lives so why can't we do this. It's great to keep saying don't worry we will do it one day but I would actually like to know WHICH day!!!! Happy to wait few years as long as I knew.

Why don't you talk to him about it?
Getting married is a joint decision, a big commitment, it's not just about when he feels like proposing to you.
What if one person wants to get married and have children and the other wants to leave things as they are? Or if both want the same way buy as they don't talk about it they both fear they might put pressure on the other person, who maybe is not ready to commit, and end up pushing them away?

You are both grown ups, just talk about how you feel and your aspirations for he future

jojo-baby

cloverfan wrote: »

Well we are off on holiday in a few days and I'm fed up of people suggesting he might do it while we are away.

I'm also fed up that he just won't do it. We are committed hugely to each other in other areas of our lives so why can't we do this. It's great to keep saying don't worry we will do it one day but I would actually like to know WHICH day!!!! Happy to wait few years as long as I knew.

cloverfan, i agree with terra-firma, have you talked with him, are you on the same path in this? do you both know what each want and more or less when? sorry if you have already written this, but my nickname is 'dori' for a reason! :rotfl:

for me, i know that I and BF are on the same page, maybe the timeline is a little out between us, but thats probably just coz i am impatient! so i get some confort from that!

right bed time for me, hugs to all!

FBaby

It's great to keep saying don't worry we will do it one day but I would actually like to know WHICH day!!!! Happy to wait few years as long as I knew.

The problem is that if he is giving you the 'one day' line, it means that although he can see himself married to you one day, he is still unsure about doing for whatever reason, so he himself wouldn't know what that 'one day' might be beyond 'the day I wake up and decide that this is what I want NOW'.

jojo-baby

Sophie8 wrote: »

Hello lovelies!
Going on holiday at the weekend, keep your fingers&toes crossed for me please :A
If it doesn't happen there I don't know where/when it would so that might be a big black cloud or whatever.

of course our fingers and toes and anything else which i can cross is crossed for you!

yesterday night i realised that 2015 will not be the year that i will be getting married, and it really upset me. I feel really ready to have kids and for that i need to be married and if we don't get married until 2016, then its bl00dy ages before i have kids. boohoo
basically im just having a small tamtrum by myself..... childish i am fully aware!

cloverfan

jojo-baby wrote: »

of course our fingers and toes and anything else which i can cross is crossed for you!

yesterday night i realised that 2015 will not be the year that i will be getting married, and it really upset me. I feel really ready to have kids and for that i need to be married and if we don't get married until 2016, then its bl00dy ages before i have kids. boohoo
basically im just having a small tamtrum by myself..... childish i am fully aware!

Aww jojo I don't think your childish at all. I so desperately want to get married that I am actually embarrassed of myself. On one of our many talks at the beginning of this year we said we would like to get married next year and have a baby. Following some medical problems we were advised that we would have problems conceiving so should start trying sooner rather than later. He wanted a baby more than I did and I wanted to get married first but I compromised and we decided to try for a baby. I fell pregnant straight away and he is really happy and committed however since then he doesn't seem quite so keen on getting married. I am happy to wait I really am if only we could decide when and that it would definitely happen.

cloverfan

Sophie8 wrote: »

Hello lovelies!
Going on holiday at the weekend, keep your fingers&toes crossed for me please :A
If it doesn't happen there I don't know where/when it would so that might be a big black cloud or whatever.

Sophie hope you have a lovely time away and hopefully it will be all your hoping for. We are also going away tomorro for a week and as much as I would love for it to happen I know in my heart of hearts it's not going to.

Gonzo1987

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

A year is no time at all, I can't imagine anyone young thinking about marriage so quickly.

My OH and I got engaged after just over a year of being together and married 5 months after that. He's only 23....

jojo-baby

cloverfan wrote: »

Aww jojo I don't think your childish at all. I so desperately want to get married that I am actually embarrassed of myself. On one of our many talks at the beginning of this year we said we would like to get married next year and have a baby. Following some medical problems we were advised that we would have problems conceiving so should start trying sooner rather than later. He wanted a baby more than I did and I wanted to get married first but I compromised and we decided to try for a baby. I fell pregnant straight away and he is really happy and committed however since then he doesn't seem quite so keen on getting married. I am happy to wait I really am if only we could decide when and that it would definitely happen.

cloverfan, congrats on the pregnancy i wish you a relaxing and trouble free pregnacy! i also didnt realise,

thats for the sympathies cloverfan and sophie, its seems weird even to me when i am happy in the relationship why am i stressing myself out over this. OH says he "feels no pressure" ahhhhhhhh
silly men!