Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

cloverfan

I wouldn't leave him because I do love him and he makes me so happy but because of those exact reasons I would like to take things further with the commitment of marriage.

burnoutbabe

It seems a bit strange to get someone a ring when they want THE RING.

heartbreak_star

He knows I love otters, and wanted something pretty for my birthday. I'm happy with it - great imagination from him!

HBS x

hieveryone

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I do not understand how you can leave someone you are in love with just because they do not want to get married.

If you love someone surely you could not bear to be apart from them?

Sorry, but that is ridiculous ^^

If that person truly loves you, surely they couldn't bear to see you hurting?

There are lots of reasons why someone 'in love' with someone else would still have to leave them, whether or not they can bear to be apart.

cloverfan

hieveryone wrote: »

Sorry, but that is ridiculous ^^

If that person truly loves you, surely they couldn't bear to see you hurting?

There are lots of reasons why someone 'in love' with someone else would still have to leave them, whether or not they can bear to be apart.

I'm not even sure if the ladies on this thread consider leaving the loves of their lives because he won't marry them I think it's because the consistent refusal to marry feels like constant rejection and in my case has led to me believing he doesn't feel the same way about me as I do him. He says he wants us to marry but won't actually do anything about which just leads to the feeling of being strung along.

hieveryone

cloverfan wrote: »

I'm not even sure if the ladies on this thread consider leaving the loves of their lives because he won't marry them I think it's because the consistent refusal to marry feels like constant rejection and in my case has led to me believing he doesn't feel the same way about me as I do him. He says he wants us to marry but won't actually do anything about which just leads to the feeling of being strung along.

Exactly, and the 'refusal' to come to any sort of compromise in order for the other person to feel better.

AmyTurtle

I left a man I loved 4 years ago after a 7 year relationship because I wanted children and was quickly heading towards 30 - he already had a child and adamantly didn't want more. He also didn't want to marry but that's not a deal breaker for me.

I've now been with a lovely man for 3 years and he has said we can start trying for children in the next few months He has also said we will marry eventually but he is certainly not in any rush to do it soon. I would marry him tomorrow, but again, it's not a deal breaker for me.

Here's the word of warning to you ladies though - I do sometimes feel guilty because although I love my current partner I don't think I will ever love anyone like I did my ex. I know I did the right thing for me though I do sometimes wonder 'what if?'. It's turned out well for me but the grass isn't always greener, there's no guarantees you will meet someone else, and even if you do they may not be the marrying kind either. I would think long and hard before you start issuing ultimatums - if you are happy apart from the marriage thing, have a happy life together and agree on whether or not to have children I would count your blessings. I work with several unmarried, childless women in their 50s and 60s who quite frankly were fed the fairytale, always though someone 'better' was round the corner and are now pretty sad and lonely. Married people still cheat, argue and divorce - I'd rather be unmarried and happy with the love of my life than married to a bloke who is second best but willing to put a ring on my finger.

bellakitten

For my birthday, my OH printed out on a piece of paper saying that my present was he was going to book somewhere romantic and I could choose wherever I wanted to go, and that there may even be a 'surprise!" However in brackets he stated that he wont be proposing. Lovely.

Buzzybee90

I understand how it must be super annoying 'waiting for a proposal' if your lives are truly settled (you own a house, good jobs, good savings) I see how that can be a "what's stopping you?!" mentality.

But though we have been together a long time we are still young, and don't yet own a house, we'd like to do that before we get engaged.

I do see the constant flurry of people of Facebook announcing their engagement, they are often the types who want huge weddings but have no interest in saving for them!!

Good luck ladies xx

cloverfan

Another weekend another proposal and engagement announcement. They've known each other less than a year yet know they wanna spend rest of lives together. So how come my man still stalling?

Feel miserable and like a really horrible person as my friend has also been through a lot and deserves to be happy and I should probably be really happy for them yet the envy is beating me at the moment.